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Do You Compare Yourself to Other Moms?

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When the ladies from yesterday's Mad Life video started discussing the competitive element to mommying, I nodded vigorously and chuckled. They are so spot-on with how it feels when you see that mom. You know the one I'm talking about: she always looks put together (no grey roots showing), she has lined up the perfect afternoon snack (one that involves baking kale or something), she whips up wonderfully nutritious dinners every night (and will gladly share her recipes), and her kids always have well-fitting clothes and proper weather accessories (she kindly looks the other way when your kiddo arrives drenched from the rain in two-sizes-too-small shoes).

Yes, moms compete. Maybe not outright in a parenting relay race, but we all look at each other, mentally sizing each other up and checking off what we do better than the other and, of course, what others do better than we do. It doesn't happen all of the time and doesn't come from a place of malice, but it's there, that underlying, subconscious, subtle, usually never vocalized judgment and comparison.

Like the video pointed out, dads don't enter this competitive parenting game. Definitely not. So, why do moms do this? That's a question I have no answer for...but it's one we should figure out. These silly competitions -- SAHM vs. WOHM, breastfeeding moms vs. non-breastfeeding moms, old moms vs. young moms, etc and so on -- don't help anyone. What we really need? We need to praise each other more. Let's all try, when we see a fellow mom, to tell her, "Hey, you are doing a great job!" Even if those comparisons start to creep into your mental mommy monologue, take a deep breath and tell her. Just a hunch, but I bet you will feel better too.

How often to you feel you "compete with" or compare yourself to other moms?

©iStockphoto.com/ DeluXe-PiX

by on Mar. 7, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Replies (21-30):
krys1025
by Bronze Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 7:44 PM
I try not to but sometimes it sucks when people are doing things you wish you could. But I try to not outwardly express it.
kellynh
by Bronze Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 7:50 PM

I don't 

copperswifey
by Bronze Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 8:47 PM

I try not to do that. I would drive myself crazy :)

Desirae1394
by Bronze Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 10:05 PM

I try not to, but it creeps in now and then, esp if I'm having a bad day. 

Desirae1394
by Bronze Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 10:06 PM

Yes, exactly. 

Quoting krys1025: I try not to but sometimes it sucks when people are doing things you wish you could. But I try to not outwardly express it.


Desirae1394
by Bronze Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 10:07 PM

So true. Thanks for that. 

Quoting RobynS:

I really try not to compare or compete. I keep seeing this quote:

Comparison is the thief of joy.

I'd like to keep my joy! LOL ;)


HotSouthernMess
by on Mar. 7, 2014 at 10:17 PM
I don't compare and I don't compete. I do what I do for my kids BC I love them, not BC I am trying to out-do someone else. That is petty and pointless IMO.
Apr1l
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2014 at 9:19 AM
No, but I did look to others if they had similar problems that they overcame
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Apr1l
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2014 at 9:20 AM
This is true!

Quoting RobynS:

I really try not to compare or compete. I keep seeing this quote:

Comparison is the thief of joy.

I'd like to keep my joy! LOL ;)

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Apr1l
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2014 at 9:21 AM
Yep I've compared myself to my mom and my mil

Quoting jen113000: Everyone is different. We all make choices that's different from others. We all make mistakes. I try not to compare myself to others but I have compared myself to my mom.
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