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Do You Compare Yourself to Other Moms?

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When the ladies from yesterday's Mad Life video started discussing the competitive element to mommying, I nodded vigorously and chuckled. They are so spot-on with how it feels when you see that mom. You know the one I'm talking about: she always looks put together (no grey roots showing), she has lined up the perfect afternoon snack (one that involves baking kale or something), she whips up wonderfully nutritious dinners every night (and will gladly share her recipes), and her kids always have well-fitting clothes and proper weather accessories (she kindly looks the other way when your kiddo arrives drenched from the rain in two-sizes-too-small shoes).

Yes, moms compete. Maybe not outright in a parenting relay race, but we all look at each other, mentally sizing each other up and checking off what we do better than the other and, of course, what others do better than we do. It doesn't happen all of the time and doesn't come from a place of malice, but it's there, that underlying, subconscious, subtle, usually never vocalized judgment and comparison.

Like the video pointed out, dads don't enter this competitive parenting game. Definitely not. So, why do moms do this? That's a question I have no answer for...but it's one we should figure out. These silly competitions -- SAHM vs. WOHM, breastfeeding moms vs. non-breastfeeding moms, old moms vs. young moms, etc and so on -- don't help anyone. What we really need? We need to praise each other more. Let's all try, when we see a fellow mom, to tell her, "Hey, you are doing a great job!" Even if those comparisons start to creep into your mental mommy monologue, take a deep breath and tell her. Just a hunch, but I bet you will feel better too.

How often to you feel you "compete with" or compare yourself to other moms?

©iStockphoto.com/ DeluXe-PiX

by on Mar. 7, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Replies (31-40):
othermom
by Platinum Member on Mar. 8, 2014 at 10:19 AM

Sometimes, but I try not to

momofsixangels
by Platinum Member on Mar. 8, 2014 at 12:57 PM

I always do

lalasmama2007
by Silver Member on Mar. 8, 2014 at 1:14 PM

Not very often.

EyesOnFire
by Member on Mar. 8, 2014 at 1:17 PM
I don't compare myself to anyone. I like me.
PennOhioBabe
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2014 at 2:26 PM
Never! I do what's best for my family & I. That's all that matters :)
aneela
by Gold Member on Mar. 8, 2014 at 5:58 PM

nope i do not compare myself to anyone else

cemcnair
by Gold Member on Mar. 8, 2014 at 7:54 PM
"Comparison is the thief of joy"-one of my favorite quotes :)
la_bella_vita
by Gold Member on Mar. 8, 2014 at 7:55 PM

 

Quoting jazi1105: Compete, no. Compare, yes. It's kind of hard not to compare yourself to other parents, especially on this site. I mean everyone does things differently.

 I agree with you and that doesn't have to be a negative thing.

virginiamama71
by on Mar. 8, 2014 at 9:38 PM

 this

Quoting Bubbie0809: No, I don't compare myself, I only can do my best.

 

sanj1213
by on Mar. 8, 2014 at 11:10 PM

I don't compare myself to other moms. 

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