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Do You Compare Yourself to Other Moms?

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When the ladies from yesterday's Mad Life video started discussing the competitive element to mommying, I nodded vigorously and chuckled. They are so spot-on with how it feels when you see that mom. You know the one I'm talking about: she always looks put together (no grey roots showing), she has lined up the perfect afternoon snack (one that involves baking kale or something), she whips up wonderfully nutritious dinners every night (and will gladly share her recipes), and her kids always have well-fitting clothes and proper weather accessories (she kindly looks the other way when your kiddo arrives drenched from the rain in two-sizes-too-small shoes).

Yes, moms compete. Maybe not outright in a parenting relay race, but we all look at each other, mentally sizing each other up and checking off what we do better than the other and, of course, what others do better than we do. It doesn't happen all of the time and doesn't come from a place of malice, but it's there, that underlying, subconscious, subtle, usually never vocalized judgment and comparison.

Like the video pointed out, dads don't enter this competitive parenting game. Definitely not. So, why do moms do this? That's a question I have no answer for...but it's one we should figure out. These silly competitions -- SAHM vs. WOHM, breastfeeding moms vs. non-breastfeeding moms, old moms vs. young moms, etc and so on -- don't help anyone. What we really need? We need to praise each other more. Let's all try, when we see a fellow mom, to tell her, "Hey, you are doing a great job!" Even if those comparisons start to creep into your mental mommy monologue, take a deep breath and tell her. Just a hunch, but I bet you will feel better too.

How often to you feel you "compete with" or compare yourself to other moms?

©iStockphoto.com/ DeluXe-PiX

by on Mar. 7, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Replies (41-48):
Jukebox_Jenny
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2014 at 11:36 PM
I used to be a lot less secure as a mom.
brittany208
by Platinum Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 9:06 AM

probably a little bit sometimes. not in a huge way though

mrswillie
by Gold Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 10:50 AM
I don't really.
Madelaine
by Bronze Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 11:35 AM

I try not to

kerryket
by Gold Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 9:20 PM
I'm aggravated because I compare myself to the mom I was, I feel like my kids were robbed when I got sick. I adapted and moved on but just never got back what we used to be able to do.
timon95
by Silver Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 12:08 AM

no, i don't think that i compare myself to other moms or compete with them.

newwifenmom
by Bronze Member on Mar. 11, 2014 at 1:32 PM
I don't
Mommy4000
by Member on Mar. 11, 2014 at 1:34 PM
1 mom liked this

I only compare myself to the mom I was yesterday. If I'm slightly better of a mom today, than I was yesterday, then I win.

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