Advertisement
Cafemom and Target Present: Mad Life
Helping today’s parents improve their relationships, feel better about themselves and raise happy, health kids.

Daddy's Girl

Posted by on Apr. 14, 2014 at 12:00 AM
  • 58 Replies



My nearly two year old daughter was racing around the living room, totally ignoring my request for “walking feet please!” when she slipped and fell. She hit the coffee table with a sickening “THUNK!” sound and did the silent scream for a second before bursting out in a hearty wail of pain. I ran to scoop her up but she pushed me away and staggered from the living room into the kitchen.

My husband was in the kitchen.

Once it again it became very apparent that I am not her first choice parent. I try not to let my daughter’s obvious preference for her dad hurt my feelings. He is the stay-at-home parent, so she is around him more than she is around me. I’m glad she is so close to him and thinks of him as someone who brings comfort and safety.

But still, my heart broke a little bit.

Later that day, my five year old son snuggled up to me and said “Are you putting me to bed tonight? I don’t want it to be Dada’s night, I want you. I love you more.”

My husband looked at me and shrugged. He is used to being told he is in second place when it comes to my son’s affection.

In some ways, it is probably good that we each have a kid who likes us best. It helps take the sting out of the rejection when your child doesn’t want you, whether that is for comforting when they are hurt or for tucking in at night.

I find myself wondering though if this is just a phase or if we will always have a “Daddy’s Girl” and a “Mama’s Boy”? I also wonder sometimes how much to let the kids act on their preferences. Should I always do bedtime for my son since he likes me better and the baby goes down better for my husband anyways? Do we force them to spend time with the non-preferred parent to try to strengthen those bonds? Are we (me) just overthinking the whole thing?

Do your kid(s) have a preferred parent? If so, does that bother you?

by on Apr. 14, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Linds2Horse
by Silver Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 12:04 AM
1 mom liked this
My son bounces back and forth. Earlier this week I was feeling unloved, lol, but today he gave me a bouquet of flowers that we picked from our yard because he loves me.
Numom61507
by Gold Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 1:59 AM
1 mom liked this

My daughter prefers me for everything. I'm a stay-at-home but her father doesn't comfort or talk about things with her. He acts like she's bothering him all the time and what she has to say doesn't matter. That's why she prefers me. 

wandep
by Gold Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 7:34 AM

Yes and no it doesn't bother me. 

mamamedic69
by Deanna on Apr. 14, 2014 at 8:57 AM
My dd goes back and forth between her dad and I. But she prefers me to put her to bed. I'm the stay at home parent so I do most of the stuff with her. My dd at times will only want me.
GypsiSky
by Silver Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 9:03 AM
2 moms liked this

They prefer me for hugs and snuggles (they do it with dad too, but I'm softer, lol) and they prefer dad for the more rambunctious type of fun lol... Chasing, wrestling, etc...

Stephanie116
by Bronze Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 9:11 AM
My baby likes daddy for play and mommy for cuddles/sleep.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sukainah
by Gold Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 10:45 AM

My kids usually come to me if they get hurt and like me to tuck them into bed etc.  But they love to play with their dad more than me and that's fine.  I don't feel bad about it.

sukainah
by Gold Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 10:46 AM

Awww, how sweet!

Quoting Linds2Horse: My son bounces back and forth. Earlier this week I was feeling unloved, lol, but today he gave me a bouquet of flowers that we picked from our yard because he loves me.


sukainah
by Gold Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 10:48 AM

Aww, that's too bad he doesn't get more involved emotionally with them.  Can you have a talk with him about it?  They will remember that when they grow up.

Quoting Numom61507:

My daughter prefers me for everything. I'm a stay-at-home but her father doesn't comfort or talk about things with her. He acts like she's bothering him all the time and what she has to say doesn't matter. That's why she prefers me. 


sukainah
by Gold Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 10:49 AM

This is how my kids are with my DH and I. :-)

Quoting GypsiSky:

They prefer me for hugs and snuggles (they do it with dad too, but I'm softer, lol) and they prefer dad for the more rambunctious type of fun lol... Chasing, wrestling, etc...


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)