Cafemom and Target Present: Mad Life
Helping today’s parents improve their relationships, feel better about themselves and raise happy, health kids.

The Oddest Thing You've Said as a Mom?

Posted by on May. 1, 2014 at 12:00 AM
  • 63 Replies

I often wonder if there were aliens out there, and those aliens had powers to listen in on our conversations, what would they think of conversations as parents? Sure, they'd be able to track the continual use of threats of pulling the car over and reminders of not to do various things to the dog. And yes, they would wonder if Earthling faces do actually "freeze that way."

But then again, they may get totally mixed up by other statements they may hear us say. Statements that, after you say it, you shake your head, thinking, "This is what my life has become."  We've read those round-ups, the ones titled something like "15 Things I Never Thought Would Come Out of My Mouth"...and I found a few that totally had me laughing and thinking they may just avert an intergalactic invasion as those aliens may be too afraid -- of earthling offspring.

No, you can't eat your pet fish. (from Nick Mom)

We don't have TIME to put a coat on your cat this morning! (from The Stir)

Honey, we don't vacuum the cat. (from Circle of Moms)

Poop is not paint. (from The Stir)

Only one person pees in the toilet at a time in this house. (from Allison Slater Tate)

Stop licking the dog. (from This Side of The Diaper)

No, you can't keep that dead ladybug as your pet...because pets should be breathing. (from Me)

Look at me. With both your eyes. WITH BOTH YOUR EYES OPEN! (From Nick Mom)

Those are mommy's private parts. No one in Chuck E. Cheese wants to see them, so please put my dress back down. (from Aiming Low)

Play-Doh is not your snack today. (From The Stir)

Do not start a fire right now. I don't have time for that. (from NickMom)

What has been the funniest and strangest thing you've said to your kids?


by on May. 1, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
by Bronze Member on May. 1, 2014 at 12:04 AM

Oh gosh. There have been some bad ones but none that come to mind right at the moment.

The ones you have listed are hilarious. Wowsers! lol

by Bronze Member on May. 1, 2014 at 12:19 AM

I cant think of anything but those are pretty funny.

by Platinum Member on May. 1, 2014 at 12:23 AM
1 mom liked this
Don't bite my butt!
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2014 at 3:11 AM
I'm not alone!!!!

Quoting graycalico: Don't bite my butt!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2014 at 3:12 AM
Don't lick the(insert anything here)
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Member on May. 1, 2014 at 7:04 AM
My daughter is always ask what yoy doing

So I say things like

Shoting elephants with the monkeys gun

Or Flying a kit on the moon

O ones that are more worrying are

Stop picking your brothers nose and no you can't push baby brothers pram into the sea

When asked why Daddy said Because you will get the car wet
by on May. 1, 2014 at 8:20 AM

You cannot wear that coat today, it's 94 degrees.

by on May. 1, 2014 at 8:25 AM
Yeah, I've got lots of these.
Don't lick the wall.
No, you can't take your pizza in the bathtub.
Get your Popsicle out of the toilet.

Just a few I've said this week...
by on May. 1, 2014 at 8:27 AM
My 2 favorites, " Quit trying to put crickets in your brothers ear!" And " Stop smashing that apple with your forehead, you will make a mess!" (I meant a mess with the apple, lol)
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2014 at 8:43 AM

Poop is not paint!When he was 2!lol

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN