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The Oddest Thing You've Said as a Mom?

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I often wonder if there were aliens out there, and those aliens had powers to listen in on our conversations, what would they think of conversations as parents? Sure, they'd be able to track the continual use of threats of pulling the car over and reminders of not to do various things to the dog. And yes, they would wonder if Earthling faces do actually "freeze that way."

But then again, they may get totally mixed up by other statements they may hear us say. Statements that, after you say it, you shake your head, thinking, "This is what my life has become."  We've read those round-ups, the ones titled something like "15 Things I Never Thought Would Come Out of My Mouth"...and I found a few that totally had me laughing and thinking they may just avert an intergalactic invasion as those aliens may be too afraid -- of earthling offspring.

No, you can't eat your pet fish. (from Nick Mom)

We don't have TIME to put a coat on your cat this morning! (from The Stir)

Honey, we don't vacuum the cat. (from Circle of Moms)

Poop is not paint. (from The Stir)

Only one person pees in the toilet at a time in this house. (from Allison Slater Tate)

Stop licking the dog. (from This Side of The Diaper)

No, you can't keep that dead ladybug as your pet...because pets should be breathing. (from Me)

Look at me. With both your eyes. WITH BOTH YOUR EYES OPEN! (From Nick Mom)

Those are mommy's private parts. No one in Chuck E. Cheese wants to see them, so please put my dress back down. (from Aiming Low)

Play-Doh is not your snack today. (From The Stir)

Do not start a fire right now. I don't have time for that. (from NickMom)

What has been the funniest and strangest thing you've said to your kids?

©iStockphoto.com/tupungato  

by on May. 1, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Replies (21-30):
AnnieGoolaheey
by Member on May. 1, 2014 at 10:29 AM

Stop chasing your brother around the house with a bag full of cat poop.

Stop swinging your dad's dickie around and fold the laundry (dickie is a piece of clothing)

You have to wear pants to bed so the mosquitos don't bite your pee pee again.

Sink the cheerio.

)0(
cemcnair
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2014 at 10:30 AM
Whoa! Are your kids older?

Quoting mrswillie: I changed my name to bitch and I dare you to say it.
cemcnair
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2014 at 10:31 AM
I have similar ones "do not ____ naked" seems like my kids are naked a lot, lol!!

Quoting la_bella_vita:

Do not sit on the dog naked

cemcnair
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2014 at 10:32 AM
Lol! Cute!

Quoting conweis:

Zip lift peeZip lift peeZip lift pee.. in the bowl pleaseIt is my potty training mantra that I still use on my kids today 

la_bella_vita
by Gold Member on May. 1, 2014 at 10:37 AM

My son had a naked phase right after he potty trained because I used to let him get naked to go on the potty, hey whatever works, works! LOL

It's funny now because as soon as he wakes up he has to be dressed so it's funny to remember him as the naked boy! He also loved to run around in just his underwear!

Quoting cemcnair: I have similar ones "do not ____ naked" seems like my kids are naked a lot, lol!!
Quoting la_bella_vita:

Do not sit on the dog naked


cemcnair
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2014 at 10:41 AM
My oldest has been potty trained for almost a year and a half, and we didn't do naked training, he just likes to be naked. And brother does everything he does!

Quoting la_bella_vita:

My son had a naked phase right after he potty trained because I used to let him get naked to go on the potty, hey whatever works, works! LOL

It's funny now because as soon as he wakes up he has to be dressed so it's funny to remember him as the naked boy! He also loved to run around in just his underwear!

Quoting cemcnair: I have similar ones "do not ____ naked" seems like my kids are naked a lot, lol!!

Quoting la_bella_vita:

Do not sit on the dog naked

la_bella_vita
by Gold Member on May. 1, 2014 at 10:44 AM

I didn't do naked training but he liked to undress before going #2 so I just let him....LOL! But yeah, it's so funny, he doesn't like to be naked now.

Quoting cemcnair: My oldest has been potty trained for almost a year and a half, and we didn't do naked training, he just likes to be naked. And brother does everything he does!
Quoting la_bella_vita:

My son had a naked phase right after he potty trained because I used to let him get naked to go on the potty, hey whatever works, works! LOL

It's funny now because as soon as he wakes up he has to be dressed so it's funny to remember him as the naked boy! He also loved to run around in just his underwear!

Quoting cemcnair: I have similar ones "do not ____ naked" seems like my kids are naked a lot, lol!!
Quoting la_bella_vita:

Do not sit on the dog naked


othermom
by Gold Member on May. 1, 2014 at 10:49 AM

No you can not go live in the tree in the back yard

Also no I will not push a leash on you and hook yopu to the fence so you can watch the baseball game(both said by my 4 year old) the second one was after she asked if her 8 year old sister could take her to the game or if her brother could if she kicked him in the butt one hundred times first

paganbaby
by Bronze Member on May. 1, 2014 at 10:54 AM

Those are awesome! LOL

paganbaby
by Bronze Member on May. 1, 2014 at 10:54 AM
1 mom liked this

I've said all of those...

Quoting AnnieGoolaheey:

Stop chasing your brother around the house with a bag full of cat poop.

Stop swinging your dad's dickie around and fold the laundry (dickie is a piece of clothing)

You have to wear pants to bed so the mosquitos don't bite your pee pee again.

Sink the cheerio.




I will not have a temper tantrum nor stomp across the floor.


I will not pout, scream or shout or kick against the door.

I will not throw my food around nor pick upon another.

I’ll always try to be real good because I am the mother.

I am the mother.

I am the mother.














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