I often wonder if there were aliens out there, and those aliens had powers to listen in on our conversations, what would they think of conversations as parents? Sure, they'd be able to track the continual use of threats of pulling the car over and reminders of not to do various things to the dog. And yes, they would wonder if Earthling faces do actually "freeze that way."
But then again, they may get totally mixed up by other statements they may hear us say. Statements that, after you say it, you shake your head, thinking, "This is what my life has become." We've read those round-ups, the ones titled something like "15 Things I Never Thought Would Come Out of My Mouth"...and I found a few that totally had me laughing and thinking they may just avert an intergalactic invasion as those aliens may be too afraid -- of earthling offspring.
No, you can't eat your pet fish. (from Nick Mom)
We don't have TIME to put a coat on your cat this morning! (from The Stir)
Honey, we don't vacuum the cat. (from Circle of Moms)
Poop is not paint. (from The Stir)
Only one person pees in the toilet at a time in this house. (from Allison Slater Tate)
Stop licking the dog. (from This Side of The Diaper)
No, you can't keep that dead ladybug as your pet...because pets should be breathing. (from Me)
Look at me. With both your eyes. WITH BOTH YOUR EYES OPEN! (From Nick Mom)
Those are mommy's private parts. No one in Chuck E. Cheese wants to see them, so please put my dress back down. (from Aiming Low)
Play-Doh is not your snack today. (From The Stir)
Do not start a fire right now. I don't have time for that. (from NickMom)
What has been the funniest and strangest thing you've said to your kids?