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The Oddest Thing You've Said as a Mom?

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I often wonder if there were aliens out there, and those aliens had powers to listen in on our conversations, what would they think of conversations as parents? Sure, they'd be able to track the continual use of threats of pulling the car over and reminders of not to do various things to the dog. And yes, they would wonder if Earthling faces do actually "freeze that way."

But then again, they may get totally mixed up by other statements they may hear us say. Statements that, after you say it, you shake your head, thinking, "This is what my life has become."  We've read those round-ups, the ones titled something like "15 Things I Never Thought Would Come Out of My Mouth"...and I found a few that totally had me laughing and thinking they may just avert an intergalactic invasion as those aliens may be too afraid -- of earthling offspring.

No, you can't eat your pet fish. (from Nick Mom)

We don't have TIME to put a coat on your cat this morning! (from The Stir)

Honey, we don't vacuum the cat. (from Circle of Moms)

Poop is not paint. (from The Stir)

Only one person pees in the toilet at a time in this house. (from Allison Slater Tate)

Stop licking the dog. (from This Side of The Diaper)

No, you can't keep that dead ladybug as your pet...because pets should be breathing. (from Me)

Look at me. With both your eyes. WITH BOTH YOUR EYES OPEN! (From Nick Mom)

Those are mommy's private parts. No one in Chuck E. Cheese wants to see them, so please put my dress back down. (from Aiming Low)

Play-Doh is not your snack today. (From The Stir)

Do not start a fire right now. I don't have time for that. (from NickMom)

What has been the funniest and strangest thing you've said to your kids?

©iStockphoto.com/tupungato  

by on May. 1, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Replies (31-40):
conweis
by Platinum Member on May. 1, 2014 at 10:59 AM

These boys never wanna lift the toilet lid up

Quoting cemcnair: Lol! Cute!
Quoting conweis:

Zip lift peeZip lift peeZip lift pee.. in the bowl pleaseIt is my potty training mantra that I still use on my kids today 


MistressMinerva
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2014 at 11:18 AM

I can't recall any funny ones right now. My daughter is 26 now so it's hard to remember that far back...lol

mrswillie
by Gold Member on May. 1, 2014 at 12:08 PM
Lol.

Quoting AnnieGoolaheey:

I have said this.  I only I changed my to shit.

Quoting mrswillie: I changed my name to bitch and I dare you to say it.

mrswillie
by Gold Member on May. 1, 2014 at 12:11 PM
He was about 13. He was being a pain in the butt...purposely, jokingly. He kept saying, "mom, mom, mother, mother, I'm talking to you". Finally, I just said it. His chin about hit the floor and he started laughing. He is now 25 and still brings it up on occasion and we still laugh about it.

Quoting cemcnair: Whoa! Are your kids older?

Quoting mrswillie: I changed my name to bitch and I dare you to say it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on May. 1, 2014 at 12:27 PM

Poop is not paint eww but yep.

cemcnair
by Gold Member on May. 1, 2014 at 1:04 PM
Lol!!!

Quoting mrswillie: He was about 13. He was being a pain in the butt...purposely, jokingly. He kept saying, "mom, mom, mother, mother, I'm talking to you". Finally, I just said it. His chin about hit the floor and he started laughing. He is now 25 and still brings it up on occasion and we still laugh about it.

Quoting cemcnair: Whoa! Are your kids older?

Quoting mrswillie: I changed my name to bitch and I dare you to say it.
SarahSuzyQ
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2014 at 1:14 PM

"If we had a pet dinosaur, he would probably try to eat you first since you're the smallest." LOL!

Very serious dinner conversation the other night about what type of dinosaur we could get to lay eggs for us, whether the dinosaur would eat our cats, etc... And as these things do, the conversation totally devolved.

sarahjz
by Gold Member on May. 1, 2014 at 1:39 PM

Hmmm....it would have to be: "Do you need to poop?"

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 1, 2014 at 1:48 PM
I have had to say something like this Only one person pees in the toilet at a time in this house before. I have 4 boys and have walked in on 3 of them peeing in the toilet at once. The worse was when one was sitting down peeing with his legs spread wide and another peeing in between his legs.
ceciliam
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2014 at 1:58 PM

Oh gosh...who knows! I don't retain that stuff in my memory.

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