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The Oddest Thing You've Said as a Mom?

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I often wonder if there were aliens out there, and those aliens had powers to listen in on our conversations, what would they think of conversations as parents? Sure, they'd be able to track the continual use of threats of pulling the car over and reminders of not to do various things to the dog. And yes, they would wonder if Earthling faces do actually "freeze that way."

But then again, they may get totally mixed up by other statements they may hear us say. Statements that, after you say it, you shake your head, thinking, "This is what my life has become."  We've read those round-ups, the ones titled something like "15 Things I Never Thought Would Come Out of My Mouth"...and I found a few that totally had me laughing and thinking they may just avert an intergalactic invasion as those aliens may be too afraid -- of earthling offspring.

No, you can't eat your pet fish. (from Nick Mom)

We don't have TIME to put a coat on your cat this morning! (from The Stir)

Honey, we don't vacuum the cat. (from Circle of Moms)

Poop is not paint. (from The Stir)

Only one person pees in the toilet at a time in this house. (from Allison Slater Tate)

Stop licking the dog. (from This Side of The Diaper)

No, you can't keep that dead ladybug as your pet...because pets should be breathing. (from Me)

Look at me. With both your eyes. WITH BOTH YOUR EYES OPEN! (From Nick Mom)

Those are mommy's private parts. No one in Chuck E. Cheese wants to see them, so please put my dress back down. (from Aiming Low)

Play-Doh is not your snack today. (From The Stir)

Do not start a fire right now. I don't have time for that. (from NickMom)

What has been the funniest and strangest thing you've said to your kids?

©iStockphoto.com/tupungato  

by on May. 1, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Replies (41-50):
momofsixangels
by Platinum Member on May. 1, 2014 at 3:02 PM


Quoting graycalico: Don't bite my butt!

LOL

momofsixangels
by Platinum Member on May. 1, 2014 at 3:03 PM


Quoting AnnieGoolaheey:

Stop chasing your brother around the house with a bag full of cat poop.

Stop swinging your dad's dickie around and fold the laundry (dickie is a piece of clothing)

You have to wear pants to bed so the mosquitos don't bite your pee pee again.

Sink the cheerio.

hahaha  those are great

momofsixangels
by Platinum Member on May. 1, 2014 at 3:03 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting RitaTequila531: If you keep holding your pee, your body is going to stop telling you when it needs "to go". You're going to be having a conversation with a group of your friends and pee is going to start trickling down your leg; They'll all see it.

eww lol

momofsixangels
by Platinum Member on May. 1, 2014 at 3:04 PM

sidesplittinglaughter


Quoting cemcnair: No son, we don't play with brother's penis, play with your own!


TigerofMu
by Gold Member on May. 1, 2014 at 3:08 PM
1 mom liked this

LOl!  Those are fantastic!  I can never think of anything specific when I get these posts!  I know there have been times that I've said something, and my kids just look at me very oddly :).

momofnatalie
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2014 at 3:16 PM
1 mom liked this

Stop eating the lotion!  Both of my girls loved licking their arms after I put lotion on them.

cemcnair
by Gold Member on May. 1, 2014 at 3:38 PM
Bath time with a 3.5 yo and 1yo!!

Quoting momofsixangels:

sidesplittinglaughter

Quoting cemcnair: No son, we don't play with brother's penis, play with your own!

RitaTequila531
by Member on May. 1, 2014 at 4:47 PM
Lol That's what my daughter said, but it worked because she stopped holding it!
It was getting ridiculous.


Quoting momofsixangels:

Quoting RitaTequila531: If you keep holding your pee, your body is going to stop telling you when it needs "to go".
You're going to be having a conversation with a group of your friends and pee is going to start trickling down your leg; They'll all see it.

eww lol

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
brittany208
by Platinum Member on May. 1, 2014 at 5:03 PM

so many things! the only one i can remember is: "get your butt of of your brother!"

TigerofMu
by Gold Member on May. 1, 2014 at 7:40 PM

My husband cracked everyone up at the dinner table tonight.  One of my daughters had been talking about fancy dresses, and another said "But we don't have any balls" (meaning the fancy party kind).  DH looked up and said "You don't have any balls?"  There was  a moment of silence, and then the entire supper table burst into laughter.  He turned bright red, and said "That's not what I meant!"

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