Advertisement
Cafemom and Target Present: Mad Life
Helping today’s parents improve their relationships, feel better about themselves and raise happy, health kids.

After A Breakup..

Posted by on May. 9, 2014 at 7:40 PM
  • 104 Replies

A friend of mine dated someone for less than two years (they were 18 when they started dating). They were engaged and even though they didn't plan on getting married right away, they still started planning their wedding. They broke off their engagement, but he wanted to be friends because he felt bad. They kept talking until he started dating someone seriously, then he stopped all contact with her.

That was 15 years ago.

I get it was a jerk move, but she STILL can't get over it. It's sometimes all she wants to talk about and that's such a shame because there are a million other topics we could discuss. She cries on their anniversary, the day he left, the day they were supposed to get married, any movie with a wedding or divorce/breakup scene.. It's getting out of hand and I don't even know what to say to her anymore! She needs serious help. When you ask her about it, she insists she's over him and she's moved on. 

I was just curious how long you think it takes to get over a breakup. Years? Months? Share your own stories as an example.. 

by on May. 9, 2014 at 7:40 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
chattycassie
by Gold Member on May. 9, 2014 at 7:44 PM

Not 15 years that is for sure. I broke up with my ex of 8 years and in about 4 months I found a new b/f. That being said I was over him about 4 years into that relationship. (I stayed way to long for the "kids")

momofnatalie
by Silver Member on May. 9, 2014 at 8:30 PM

Oh wow, that's a long time.  I was with someone for 5 yrs in college and after.  It was my first real relationship, and we were co-dependant on each other.  We should have been done with each other after 2 years but we hung on for 5.  After a year of the break up, I started dating a lot of jerks and I felt I wasn't deserving a happy ending.  I ended up going to therapy, to sort out my issues of abandonment and my need to invest everything I had in a man.  After the therapy, I had healthier relationships and finally met my DH. 

proudmommy690
by Gold Member on May. 9, 2014 at 8:50 PM
That's a ridiculous amount of time to be crying over something like a break up.
corpswife523
by Bronze Member on May. 9, 2014 at 9:55 PM
That crazy! I was with someone for four years and we split up, I never cried once. Life moves on!
ablackdolphin
by Silver Member on May. 9, 2014 at 10:20 PM
15 yrs is insane to even think about it! Yikes!
timon95
by Silver Member on May. 9, 2014 at 10:46 PM

i would think that she should have moved on by now like he did.

mamamedic69
by Deanna on May. 9, 2014 at 10:55 PM
1 mom liked this
She needs help. 15 years is way too long. I've only had two serious relationships in my life so I don't know how long.
chrissydan
by Gold Member on May. 10, 2014 at 5:13 AM
Exactly this. 15 years and still not over him she maybe needs therapy

Quoting proudmommy690: That's a ridiculous amount of time to be crying over something like a break up.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mrswillie
by Silver Member on May. 10, 2014 at 7:13 AM
1 mom liked this
Bepends on the relationship
Saucy1
by Kristina on May. 10, 2014 at 8:30 AM

Wow, 15 years. I agree, she needs therapy. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)