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How to Handle The Teen Years

Posted by on May. 13, 2014 at 12:00 AM
  • 59 Replies

My daughter just turned seven...so this week's Mad Life topic about high school graduation issues (think prom night, sex, drinking) is a little foreign for me. Not that I haven't thought about it -- and then proceeded to totally freak out thinking about it.

I think back to my high school days and what my parents told me. They always trusted me and, when it came time to go to parties or spread my wings, I knew to trust myself and my instincts on what was a "right" decision to make (and what wasn't). What's more, when they said, "You can always call us if you find yourself in a bad siltation," I knew that I could...without pausing for fear of getting in trouble or what the repercussions would be. Why? Because they had established a foundation of trust and honesty within our home.

So, although I'm still in imaginary play mode and not even dealing with multiplication tables yet, part of me realizes this week's topic isn't totally unrelated to me and where I am in the parenting world. The relationship I build with my kiddo 100% impacts how we deal with these topics in the future. The foundation of trust, of guidance, of helping her navigate these tricky waters -- all of that starts, well, now. Not that we are talking about sex (still haven't had the birds and bees talk, obviously), but creating an environment where we can discuss hard issues, where she trusts us to be there for her, where we buoy her and build her sense of self-worth...all of that will help when she does hit those teen years.

Do you have older kids? How did you deal with the heavy issues of drinking and sex and prom?

©iStockphoto.com/yuriz 

by on May. 13, 2014 at 12:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
graycalico
by Gold Member on May. 13, 2014 at 12:05 AM
I have a 14yo. She starts high school next year. We've talked about stuff but that's it so far. I hope she knows she can always talk to me.
jellyphish
by Silver Member on May. 13, 2014 at 3:21 AM
1 mom liked this
My oldest turns seven this summer, so I'm where you are in that I think about it, but I'm not there yet. Trust and openness is so important, and I think it's important that the relationship goes both ways- that I also show her that I can come to her for help (in an age appropriate way of course). When hubs was growing up and had recently gotten his license, his dad called him late and asked him to pick him up from a bar because he was too drunk to drive. He did that with the sole intention of letting him know it's ok to call for help, it's not ok to drive drunk. I think that was really smart, and goes back to my point of wanting to make the relationship work both ways.

I've already been thinking about the sex talks I'm going to have to have, and am nervous and clueless since my mom never had one with me. But I think it's important, just as important as establishing a mutually trusting and open relationship.
I'm rambling now because it's late.
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chrissydan
by Gold Member on May. 13, 2014 at 5:52 AM
1 mom liked this
My kids are newborn and 1.5 i have a long way to go until the teen years
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mrswillie
by Silver Member on May. 13, 2014 at 7:01 AM
Youngest ds is 18. He did try drinking, once...at home. I came home and he was drunk. Ugh...
Hannahsmommy816
by Silver Member on May. 13, 2014 at 8:11 AM
2 moms liked this

i'm scared of the teenage years, with 3 girls....

Apr1l
by Bronze Member on May. 13, 2014 at 8:21 AM
Its something we talk about with our eldest who's 12, communication being open should help... I know there's going to be a bumpy road ahead I remember whatvit was like being a teenager
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cemcnair
by Silver Member on May. 13, 2014 at 8:23 AM
My oldest isn't quite 4 yet, but I've already been thinking about how to talk to him. We currently talk about which parts are private, etc...
timon95
by Silver Member on May. 13, 2014 at 9:34 AM

My kids are 8 and 10. those years are in the back my of head, not trying to think about them yet. I am trying to enjoy the moment and enjoy them at their young age.

proudmommy690
by Gold Member on May. 13, 2014 at 9:55 AM
My oldest is only 7.
momofsixangels
by Platinum Member on May. 13, 2014 at 9:59 AM

I have a 22 year old(23 tomorrow),17,15 and 13.The other 2 are pre teens. Teen years are rough.Im always talking to them about the dangers of drugs and sex

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