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Would you ever admit out loud that you have a favorite child?

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You have a favorite child? Fine, just don't admit it!

http://moms.today.com/_news/2012/09/21/14011513-you-have-a-favorite-child-fine-just-dont-admit-it?lite

By Rebecca Dube, TODAY

A dad blogger wrote about how one of his two children is his favorite, and now he's surprised that people are criticizing him for it.

Dude, are you serious?

First of all, liking one child a little more is nothing remarkable. Plenty of parents have a favorite, even if the status rotates based on which child has not recently colored the dog with Sharpies or put pancakes in the DVD player.

But you don't say it out loud! And you certainly don't publish it on the Internet for everyone to see, and Google, in perpetuity. While the writer doesn't use his own name on the column, he does helpfully supply photos and name his children, both the favorite and the other one.


There's nothing subtle about what he writes:

Yes, I have a favorite son and I’m not ashamed to admit it....

My choosing Zacharie as my favorite is not about ‘playing favorites,’ or ‘preferential treatment’ when I’m parenting. I don’t let Zacharie get away with anything because he’s my first pick, I just .. yknow .. like him better. ...

When it comes to weekends when my wife and I divide the boys up to have an easier time running errands, I usually pick Z.

If there was a parenting boot camp, and maybe there should be, this would be one of the first lessons screamed at you by the cranky drill sergeant. When your children ask who's the favorite -- and they will, and they will be persistent and sneaky about it -- SAY NOTHING. Oh sure, they may suspect that you have a favorite. They may wonder, and they may accuse. But they must never know. Sibling rivalry is tough enough, and naming a favorite is just throwing parental kindling on the fire.


If you feel up to more advanced parental Jedi mind tricks, you can take each child aside and tell them that they are secretly your favorite child, but not to tell the others. If you're lucky they won't compare notes until after you're dead. If not, at least you'll discover which of your kids can keep a secret.

Don’t drive yourself too crazy trying to always make things always fair. The real trick is to minimize conditions that break down sibling relationships and cause long-lasting resentment. ... Never compare or praise one kid’s behavior in contrast to a sibling: it can create long-lasting strains.

So, for example, writing a blog post that says "my older son is my favorite of the two. He and I are adventurous partners in crime, and I can’t imagine life without him," as this dad does, is the kind of thing that can really mess a kid up.


Here's the thing, dad blogger: Not every thought you have as a parent needs to be published. There's a thin line between refreshing honesty and just being mean, and going on and on about your favorite (and least favorite) child crosses the line. At least in my book. What do you think? Do you have a favorite, and would you admit it?

by on May. 22, 2014 at 1:37 PM
Replies (11-20):
othermom
by Gold Member on May. 22, 2014 at 3:48 PM

I don't have a favorite. I love doing certain things with each of my kids and try to find time with each of them to do those things. We all connect in different ways because they are different kids.

I rememeber when I was 17 and found mine and my brothers baby books, his was all filled out, mine had something from my birth and my 5th birthday and the rest was blank. She said she didn't have time. She also admitted my brother was  her favorite because he was her first and they had more in common. It really hurt

othermom
by Gold Member on May. 22, 2014 at 3:49 PM

My husband will say the kids are his favorite, but it is his favorite 8 year old, 4 year old and favorite boy, or something like that since they all are in ways. There are certain personality quirks in each that drive us nuts too

cemcnair
by Silver Member on May. 22, 2014 at 3:51 PM
I have two boys. It changes daily (hourly, by the minute!!) which is my fave, lol!! But in the end, it evens out ;)
MistressMinerva
by Silver Member on May. 22, 2014 at 4:20 PM

I only had one child. I do have 2 grandson's and do favor the oldest more.

Scarpetta71
by on May. 22, 2014 at 4:22 PM

No because I don't. 

LindaClement
by Gold Member on May. 22, 2014 at 4:26 PM
1 mom liked this

What I have said out loud is that I definitely had a 'child who was easy for me' --because we think so much alike that I could always tell from a great distance what she was thinking, what she was trying to do...

I also had a child who was super-hard to figure out, who is one of the most adorable, sensitive and sweet people I have ever had the pleasure to know. She has my heart in a way her sister never touched.

One child, we're sympatico. The other, we're complementary.

They're both my favourites.

ladymaleficent
by Member on May. 22, 2014 at 4:27 PM
Yup, I do my son easy when then is only
alf2651
by Member on May. 22, 2014 at 4:29 PM

I've only got one, so yeah, I've mentioned my favorite. :-) 

chattycassie
by Platinum Member on May. 22, 2014 at 7:02 PM

 

Yes I do have a favorite, it moves around depending on how they behave. That being said as far as personality goes I like my youngest the best. SHE is HILLAROIUS

chattycassie
by Platinum Member on May. 22, 2014 at 7:06 PM

 SO it is good I never finished ANY of the baby books? :)

Quoting othermom:

I don't have a favorite. I love doing certain things with each of my kids and try to find time with each of them to do those things. We all connect in different ways because they are different kids.

I rememeber when I was 17 and found mine and my brothers baby books, his was all filled out, mine had something from my birth and my 5th birthday and the rest was blank. She said she didn't have time. She also admitted my brother was  her favorite because he was her first and they had more in common. It really hurt

 

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