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Modern Chivalry Motto: Just Be Kind

Posted by on Jul. 16, 2014 at 12:00 AM
  • 50 Replies

"There's no chivalry in culture any more. Sometimes you meet someone who everyone says is polite and you're like, 'Wow,' but then it's like, 'Hang on, isn't everyone supposed to be polite?'" 

That's a quote from will.i.am, frontman of the Black Eyed Peas. This is exactly how I feel about this whole chivalry discussion. It goes beyond the whole "Should guys hold the doors open for women?" ponderings, it's a basic human-to-human interaction idea, right?

This idea -- being kind and polite to others -- is one that we, as parents, attempt to teach our kiddos everyday. We've discussed it over and over again here at Mad Life: how to find ways to teach our kids to be polite, to be respectful, to be good humans without being all sorts of preachy and strict. Figuring out that mythical way to have them want and feel like they are supposed to be respectful in their hearts, not just because "It's what Mom said to do."

Yeah, I know, how do we do that? Well, aside from pointing out that will.i.am thinks being polite and chivalrous is cool, we have to be respectful and empathetic ourselves. It's all about modeling it. Study after study shows that when you expose your kids to ideas, people, or situations where empathy is needed, and you show it and then talk about it ("What do you think that boy was feeling?" or "What should the other people around should have done?"), that sticks with them waaayyyy longer than just telling them to "Be nice" or "Be polite."

How are you teaching and showing empathy, and as a result, kindness? 

©iStockphoto.com/ marekuliasz

by on Jul. 16, 2014 at 12:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lil_mama06
by Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 1:37 AM

If we see a need and can meet it, we will...

hugss
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by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 9:01 AM

treat others the way you want to be treated .. kind, respectful :)

TigerofMu
by Gold Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 9:52 AM

 I absolutely agree that we have to model it if we want our children to learn and live it.  Also, it's great to have those discussions, but in the interest of that kindness (and manners), not to have them right there with the person who didn't do something nice, but later, when we are talking about ways to show kindness to others.

LaniBee
by Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 10:27 AM

Things like feelings can be difficult for young children to understand (especially in others), so it's important for them to see empathy and kindness in action. Even though our kids are older, there are still plenty of opportunities to talk about and show how to be helpful, kind and understanding of others. 

momofsixangels
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 10:35 AM

I always teach my kids to treat others kindly. To show respect and have good manners

RobynS
by Silver Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 10:36 AM

Be kind... now there's a thought. If I had a dollar for every time I'd said that to my kids, I'd be wealthy woman!

LindaClement
by Gold Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 10:36 AM
1 mom liked this

Empathy is taught by feeling it.

If kids never experience it, it's alien to them. Just like respect is...

sarahjz
by Gold Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 11:13 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't teach it, I live it.  

Madelaine
by Bronze Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 11:29 AM

Treat others the way you want to be treated.

Madelaine
by Bronze Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 11:30 AM

It is important to always model being kind to others so your kids do the same.

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