You know what I talk about way (WAY) more than I ever thought I would before I had kids?
You see, I have a six year old boy and my six year old boy came equipped, as is standard, with a penis. Now, as a person who does not have a penis, I really failed to consider just how fascinating these small appendages can be. I didn’t realize we’d have to have rules regarding penises. Like, for example, when my son had two friends over to play and I found myself saying “We don’t hit people in the penis in our house, even if he asked you to do it”.
We also have the “no penises at the dinner table” rule and the “you can do that, but you need to be in private” rule and the “point that thing DOWN when you sit on the potty” rule…all things I never thought I’d have to say.
I’m also surprised at how much the penis talk has resulted in my two year old daughter having a rather flawed understanding of her own equipment, as evidenced by the following conversation:
Her, during a diaper change: “Where my penis go?”
Me: “You don’t have one. Only boys have a penis.”
Her: “It hiding in my diaper? It sneaky?”
Me: “Sweetie, no, you don’t have a penis. Bobo and Dada have one because they are boys and girls are different”
Her (crying): “Bobo took my penis! Bobo take it and hide it.”
I tried to explain to her that her brother did not steal any body parts from her, but, given how much they play the “I got your nose!” game, she wasn’t buying it.
We’ll keep working on the penis=private concept and I’ll assume that in time he’ll be too modest to want to pretend his penis is puppet that talks to me through his pants (please let this be true).
Do other mothers of boys also find themselves dealing with penis talk all the time or is my kid just a weirdo?