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DOUCHE!

Ok, a little BG, MIL has been driving me absolutely BAT SHIT CRAZY since we told her I'm pregnant. (Due September 12th.) Wanting to go to every appointment, insisting upon being at my u/s (she told me she was going whether I needed her to bring me or not, wtf?! Who does that?!), saying she "will" be in the delivery room when I give birth (totally NOT HAPPENING), constantly eyeballing my belly looking for me to start showing, and I just KNOW she's going to start touching and rubbing the belly like I'm a GD Buddha statue! Rubbing the belly will not bring you good luck, but it will get you the stink eye! >:(

I don't like being fawned over and touched when I'm pregnant, or really anytime, so it's really irking the hell out of me. She stopped by the other night to visit for a bit and SO TELLS HER that she's bugging me. WTF?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! DOUCHE!

Now I'm like, great, MIL probably thinks I'm some uppity bitch because I don't want her all up my ass and touching me. I get it, this is her first grandchild, but FFS woman, learn some GD boundaries. I know if I don't set these boundaries NOW, she will be nothing but problems for me for the rest of my life. It's just hard because I don't want to be the uppity bitch. *sigh*

by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:49 AM
Replies (11-16):
AA2.0
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 2:22 PM

Because his family already looks at me sideways because I'm "city" and they're not. Like they think they're better than me because I'm not from the bayou and didn't spent my childhood running in the woods barefoot or some shit like they did. Or they expect me to think I'm better than them because I'm from the city. Which I don't, my dad is from this area, I grew up hunting and fishing just like they all did. Just because I don't like getting dirty or having someone stuck up my vagina while I'm pregnant doesn't mean I think I'm better than anyone else. So it just feels like one more thing for his family to use against me, KWIM? It turns into, "Oh, AA wants to keep MIL from being involved with her first grandbaby and the pregnancy, she's so selfish and uppity," when the issue REALLY is that AA is just a more private person when it comes to stuff like this and didn't even like it when her OWN family was stuck up her vagina for her first pregnancy.

Quoting MJP76:

I don't understand why that makes him a douche? He probably got tired of hearing it from you and thought he'd help. He only did what you should have probably done. 

Sometimes men go about things wrong, but it sounded like he was trying to help.


MJP76
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 2:29 PM


What is KWIM? 

Idk, my DHs family, has never treated me that way, however when they do things I don't like when my children are involved, I feel like it's DHs job to "deal" with his family, and visa versa. And I would have actually been more pissed if I had a chat with DH about something I didn't like and he DIDN'T say something. 

However, more often than not we will address his family together as a unit. I just let him do most of the speaking because its his family. 

I understand not wanting to be rude to them or snappy with them, however I wouldn't have been mad at DH for doing so.

Quoting AA2.0:

Because his family already looks at me sideways because I'm "city" and they're not. Like they think they're better than me because I'm not from the bayou and didn't spent my childhood running in the woods barefoot or some shit like they did. Or they expect me to think I'm better than them because I'm from the city. Which I don't, my dad is from this area, I grew up hunting and fishing just like they all did. Just because I don't like getting dirty or having someone stuck up my vagina while I'm pregnant doesn't mean I think I'm better than anyone else. So it just feels like one more thing for his family to use against me, KWIM? It turns into, "Oh, AA wants to keep MIL from being involved with her first grandbaby and the pregnancy, she's so selfish and uppity," when the issue REALLY is that AA is just a more private person when it comes to stuff like this and didn't even like it when her OWN family was stuck up her vagina for her first pregnancy.

Quoting MJP76:

I don't understand why that makes him a douche? He probably got tired of hearing it from you and thought he'd help. He only did what you should have probably done. 

Sometimes men go about things wrong, but it sounded like he was trying to help.




AA2.0
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 2:29 PM

KWIM = know what I mean

Yeah, I can understand that. It's just the dynamics of this family. And then the fact that he said something to her about it in front of me, which just made me feel more awkward about it. Maybe if he had talked to her privately about it I would feel differently? I'm not sure. I just feel like it put me in an awkward position.

Quoting MJP76:


What is KWIM? 

Idk, my DHs family, has never treated me that way, however when they do things I don't like when my children are involved, I feel like it's DHs job to "deal" with his family, and visa versa. And I would have actually been more pissed if I had a chat with DH about something I didn't like and he DIDN'T say something. 

However, more often than not we will address his family together as a unit. I just let him do most of the speaking because its his family. 

I understand not wanting to be rude to them or snappy with them, however I wouldn't have been mad at DH for doing so.

Quoting AA2.0:

Because his family already looks at me sideways because I'm "city" and they're not. Like they think they're better than me because I'm not from the bayou and didn't spent my childhood running in the woods barefoot or some shit like they did. Or they expect me to think I'm better than them because I'm from the city. Which I don't, my dad is from this area, I grew up hunting and fishing just like they all did. Just because I don't like getting dirty or having someone stuck up my vagina while I'm pregnant doesn't mean I think I'm better than anyone else. So it just feels like one more thing for his family to use against me, KWIM? It turns into, "Oh, AA wants to keep MIL from being involved with her first grandbaby and the pregnancy, she's so selfish and uppity," when the issue REALLY is that AA is just a more private person when it comes to stuff like this and didn't even like it when her OWN family was stuck up her vagina for her first pregnancy.

Quoting MJP76:

I don't understand why that makes him a douche? He probably got tired of hearing it from you and thought he'd help. He only did what you should have probably done. 

Sometimes men go about things wrong, but it sounded like he was trying to help.





MJP76
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 2:32 PM


Thanks!

yes, I imagine it would if you weren't expecting it. 

Quoting AA2.0:

KWIM = know what I mean

Yeah, I can understand that. It's just the dynamics of this family. And then the fact that he said something to her about it in front of me, which just made me feel more awkward about it. Maybe if he had talked to her privately about it I would feel differently? I'm not sure. I just feel like it put me in an awkward position.

Quoting MJP76:


What is KWIM? 

Idk, my DHs family, has never treated me that way, however when they do things I don't like when my children are involved, I feel like it's DHs job to "deal" with his family, and visa versa. And I would have actually been more pissed if I had a chat with DH about something I didn't like and he DIDN'T say something. 

However, more often than not we will address his family together as a unit. I just let him do most of the speaking because its his family. 

I understand not wanting to be rude to them or snappy with them, however I wouldn't have been mad at DH for doing so.

Quoting AA2.0:

Because his family already looks at me sideways because I'm "city" and they're not. Like they think they're better than me because I'm not from the bayou and didn't spent my childhood running in the woods barefoot or some shit like they did. Or they expect me to think I'm better than them because I'm from the city. Which I don't, my dad is from this area, I grew up hunting and fishing just like they all did. Just because I don't like getting dirty or having someone stuck up my vagina while I'm pregnant doesn't mean I think I'm better than anyone else. So it just feels like one more thing for his family to use against me, KWIM? It turns into, "Oh, AA wants to keep MIL from being involved with her first grandbaby and the pregnancy, she's so selfish and uppity," when the issue REALLY is that AA is just a more private person when it comes to stuff like this and didn't even like it when her OWN family was stuck up her vagina for her first pregnancy.

Quoting MJP76:

I don't understand why that makes him a douche? He probably got tired of hearing it from you and thought he'd help. He only did what you should have probably done. 

Sometimes men go about things wrong, but it sounded like he was trying to help.







Basherte
by Christina on Mar. 7, 2013 at 2:55 PM

I would allow your hubby to tell her what he feels needs to be said from his end of things. Plus you need to let her know that you only want hubby / or whoever it is you want in the delivery room. You do need to set some boundaries and it looks like your hubby will back you up on them. It isn't you being a stuck up or uppity bitch if your hubby is backing you up. 

Some women love it when other rubs their tummies. I was never one of them. I told you point blank."Touch me and you pull back a stump"



wedding countdown

AthenaGrace
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 5:41 PM

Ouch, I hate that kind of thing. Luckily everybody is leaving me along for the most part...I guess I just look like a bitch haha. Good luck with her.

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