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How do you deal with Disrespect? (Sorry, Long...)

Posted by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 11:02 PM
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The reason I ask is this: My roommate has his 2 kids here for 2 weeks and they direspect me every chance they get. My roommate gets mad when I try to enforce the house rules, and my husband has been getting mad lately if I have ANY complaints about my life since I am a SAHM and he has two jobs. 

The biggest Problem though is the kids.... My 4 year old sees them ignore me, flat out tell me no, and walking all over me and their dad, and you can see it on her face "why should I listen to Mommy when No one else does" and then she starts acting out. My normally very well behaved and wonderful 4 year old has started Back talking, Tattling, Ignoring, Telling me no, and hitting. I feel like my entire world is falling apart! 

I love Structure. I feel it is Necessary to Run a household, and I am a firm believer in not allowing the Children to make the rules... What I say goes. I understand that this isnt how Everyone works, but its how I work, and how I have always run my home.

My husband has had No problem with how things are done here. Sure he Often leaves everything out and leaves underwear on the floor, But when it comes to Structure, He is the same way as me. 

My roommate, however, seems to think HE runs my home. Im sorry hun, but this is my home. I own this house, You are staying with us. When I ask you to was two pans so I can cook supper for YOUR children, I expect you to either do it or give me a legit reason why you cant, not push it off on the 7 year old and tell me that its perfectly okay to leave her in the kitchen Unsupervised. First off, Leaving kids in the Kitchen unsupervised is dangerous, plain and simple. Second off, I dont allow children in the kitchen. I have seen too many careless mistakes where kids get hurt. 

When I say I dont think its a good Idea, DONT call me out in front of the kids. any authority I have Flies out the window. Plus, It makes Payten's behavior worse. So when I pull him to the side to explain that I dont like Kids in the Kitchen unsupervised and why, he says "Its fine, Emma." and storms off, Leaving me to cook supper, clean the Kitchen, Look after the kids and Everything else, While he storms all over the house and COMPLETELY ignores me all night. 

Oh and then, after I spend and hour fixing supper and then serving up dishes for all three kids, what does he do? He calls HIS kids to the table, Completely Ignoring mine! WHAT THE HELL DUDE? How about a thanks for making dinner for my kids? How about call all of them to eat, not just leave mine to think she was forgotten about, because thats what she thought. 

Im so frustrated! Im so sorry I keep blowing yall up.... it seems every night lately Im having to deal with this Bullshit.

by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 11:02 PM
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Replies (1-7):
MJP76
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 11:28 AM

I wouldn't put up with it for two seconds.

Marimaru
by Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 9:06 PM
1 mom liked this

Tell him what you said here "You are in my house, you and your children will obey my rules, or you can find somewhere else to stay when you have your kids."

Basherte
by Christina on Mar. 28, 2013 at 5:06 PM

I would calmly tell that person that they have to leave. Pack up their stuff, and move out.


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Armywifeholcomb
by Member on Mar. 28, 2013 at 10:20 PM
It sounds like this having a roommate thing really isn't working too well >_<
It's Your home, he needs to respect that and Not disrespect you, Especially in front of the kids!
You and DH need to sit down and talk to him about this, if he doesn't want to change, than he really needs a new place to stay...
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la_bella_vita
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 11:05 PM

 How frustrating : (

Texascandee
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:29 PM

I don't know how calmly I would say it but I would tell him he has to go.  Your house, your rules and if he can't make his kids follow them and respect you then he doesn't need to be in your house.  Not to be nosey, but why is he staying with your family?  Is he part of your extended family?  Just curious why you haven't booted him by now

EmmaZate
by Emma on Apr. 1, 2013 at 1:43 AM
Honestly, normally we don't have a problem. His kids aren't here often. Rarely actually, because his stbx moved to California and they have school, plus she refuses to let him see them (loooong story)

I got really frustrated by the way his kids treated me, but I came to realize that it was mostly because their mother treats them like crap. She lets them walk all over her and get their way all the time, and then forces the 7 year old to make meals for her 5 year old brother. After talking to them I realized that they ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or macaroni and cheese for dinner most nights, and that the 7 year old made it. When the mom isn't off with a boyfriend, she just "doesn't have the energy". Honey, please, I'm 27 weeks pregnant and on blood thinners.... I NECER have energy, but I still cooked healthy meals for your kids every night.


Quoting Texascandee:

I don't know how calmly I would say it but I would tell him he has to go.  Your house, your rules and if he can't make his kids follow them and respect you then he doesn't need to be in your house.  Not to be nosey, but why is he staying with your family?  Is he part of your extended family?  Just curious why you haven't booted him by now

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