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Posted by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 7:44 PM
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I'm really sorry but I HAVE to vent...

My kids, husband and I are staying with my former father in law to help him out and so we can save money to buy a house. That isn't the issue... I love "Dad" and Pat so much and being here has been a joy. 

My issue is that three months ago my best friend blew up on his parents and moved out... That's great! They were invading his privacy, treating him like shit, and trying to control his every move, they had even forced him into a vehicle he couldn't afford... What's NOT great is that he decided he was going to come live with me and my husband (and three kids, "Dad" and Pat)... Its a decent sized house but... Yeah, we have enough space for my husband and I, the kids and Dad and Pat but.... That was it! D: 

Two weeks after my best friend landed in our laps he quit his job! O.o I know why and I completely understand why... But he had no back up job in place and is practically refusing to look for another one!!!!! GAH! We can't afford this!

To make things "better", my husband and I have another friend who was injured a year and a half ago... He can't drive or work as a result of poor medical care and is now receiving better care with a new doctor, who is a hour away... He has to go to this doctor every week and every other (if not every) month he has to have surgery... I don't mind helping him get to the doctor or to get groceries, if he helps with gas or pays us back, his insurance is paying his bills, but he doesn't! And to make things worse, he's constantly calling, every twenty to thirty minutes, he demands that we come over and "visit", or that we take him out because he doesn't want to be in the house..... 

Between the two of them its next to impossible to have time for just my family! My husband and I NEVER get time to just us (my best friend set up an air matress in the room we're sleeping in), we can't take the kids anywhere with out one or the other calling and harrassing us, we can't even go have a cigarette without being followed outside and my friend begging for one...

We can't even save money up because they are both draining us drier than dry! We are completely broke within 48 hours of being paid! Even being here with Dad, we're struggling to make our bills, which is ridiculous! All Dad asks is that we help with food, transport, and helping around the house! I don't know what to do. I'm so stressed out that I can't eat, my hair is falling out, and I'm getting migraines every other day! 

To top things off, nine days ago my six year old gave my eleven year old a concussion, which his teacher managed to upgrade to a MAJOR concussion by forcing him to take a MATH test after the doctor wrote a note (which we gave to her and the school) specifically stating NO TESTS/QUIZZES, Gym class........ He's been unable to go to school since Thursday of last week and can't go back to school until after he goes back to the doctor on Wednesday! ugh!!!!!! :(

by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 7:44 PM
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by Ashley on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:08 PM
Wow. That just sounds like a mess & so so stressful. I think you need to say something to your friends about helping out because you can't keep taking care of them! And the longer you do it, the less likely they will be to help.
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by Tessie - Owner on Mar. 25, 2013 at 11:12 AM
I'd kick your friend out. Or tell them that they have 2 weeks to find a job or they have to leave.
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by Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:00 PM
It's hard to be the nice person sometimes. When they trample you it's time to say "enough!"
Your friends are adults. The one living with you needs to man up and get his sh!t straight!!
As L.W said: kick him out or 2 weeks.
But even with that I'd give him a time to be out...
What does "Dad" & Pat say about your houseguest? I'm taking it that it's his house? If its yours then no need to consult, but if its his house, you need to talk to him about it.
He needs to quit mooching.
As for the other friend: no family or other friends to help and hang out with?
I'd talk to him and tell him that you can't be there to tend to him 24/7, you have family that you have to spend time with. Helping out every once and awhile is good, but you don't need 2 adult children to take care of.
Sorry mama >_<
Being nice is rough sometimes...
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by Emma on Mar. 25, 2013 at 4:01 PM

wow! It sounds like yall are extremely helpful people.... Who are getting walked on. Helping out your friend is a great thing... But you need to set some boundaries before you end up Blowing up and saying something you regret... and if you are anything like me, you will regret it within moments of saying it. Maybe talk to your friend about sleeping in the Living room on his air mattress? Even if it requires making a compromise with Dad and Pat. I really hope you get some you time! Maybe the Friend will agree to babysit for you once a week-with NO phone calls so you can leave the house alone with your hubby. 

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