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Depressed Daughter

Posted by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 12:21 PM
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I know this group is really small but this is exactly the group I think I need.  I just wrote my intro but I am going to describe some of what we are facing right now because I need to share with others who might understand where I am coming from.  With anxiety/panc attacks, communication issues, depression, and meltdowns my daughter is not doing very well.  Twice in the last week she has told me that life isn't worth living and that she doesn't want to be here.  Even though she just saw the psychiatrist on Tuesday, I am calling her again today to emphasize my daughter's state of mind.  My daughter sees the social skills therapist tomorrow (Tuesday) and the Cognitive Behavioral therapist (specialty phobias and anxiety) on Wednesday.  Needless to say we are in a horrible mess slowly spiraling downward since about October.  I keep telling the anxiety therapist and the psychiatrist (they share office area) what is gong on but when my daughter goes to them she won't tell them the issues.  I feel like the therapist doesn't believe me. She is a cold very confrontist type therapist and my daughter hates her.  She did help with some of the severe phobias but I am not so certain she is really helping with the anxiety issues.  Last week this therapist told me to record the meltdowns (which are frequently hostile) so that she could confront my daughter with them.  I did not like the confronting idea because I think my daughter feels bad enough as it is and she is very aware and troubled by her problems.  Besides a confrontation like that might be just the thing to send her right over the edge and commit suicide.  I want to prevent that not cause it.  So I decided that I would try to record some of the meltdowns so that the therapist could listen (without daughter present) and would believe me. Well recordings meltdowns is not easy.  Instead of recording a hostile screaming meltdown which she does have, I recorded 5 minutes of a sobbing meltdown episode where she says she doesn't want t be here anymore, she has no friends, she is so sad a lot, and why can't she be happy like other kids. It is just so sad I start to cry every time I think about it.  Now that I have this recording I am not quite certain what to do withit. I have to use it to get the anxiety therapist and the psychiatist to take this seriously and realize how bad it really is.  I am not certain the anxiety therapist is helping but I like the psychiatist.  The social skills therapist is a very understanding type and I think is more what my daughter needs right now except she is trying to stick to social skills issues because we have the anxiety therapist and she doesn't want to confuse the issues.   Anyway I am going to organize my thoughts and start making phone calls shortly.

by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 12:21 PM
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Replies (1-4):
zumbafreak11
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 8:59 PM

Sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time with your daughter.  I agree that confronting your daughter won't be helpful and that she does feel bad and is very aware and troubled by her problems.  It sounds more like she's depressed than anxious.  From personal experience, I know how bad depression can be.  If these therapists continue to ignore you, I would switch.  You need people that will listen to you.

Bobcatridge
by New Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 11:36 PM

I called , emailed and talked to all the therapists and the psychiatrist. The psychiatrist increased one of her anxiety meds. We saw the social skills therapist today and we see both the anxiety therapist and the psychiatrist tomorrow.  Everyone now agrees that my daughter is depressed.  I had a heart to heart talk with my daughter last night.and listed all her behaviors that indicate that she is depressed.  We also talked about her statements that she didn't want to be here anymore and that she wanted to die.  She said she didn't want to commit suicide but that she wanted to go to Mars.  I managed to convince her how concerned I was for her and that I wanted her to be happy. I think she thought no one really cared.  She seemed to really relax more and has wanted lots of hugs since.  She is still having meltdowns easily but she now admits she is depressed.  I suspect we will end up with a prescription for an anti-depressant tomorrow.  The anxiety meds she is taking just aren't helping enough.

zumbafreak11
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 7:36 AM

Good luck.  Hopefully, they'll find the perfect medication for your daughter.  Sometimes with antidepressants it can be a lot of trial and error- at least that's the way it was for me.  I'm on my 3rd medication, but Effexor works well for me.  Lexapro and Wellbutrin just weren't cutting it.

Quoting Bobcatridge:

I called , emailed and talked to all the therapists and the psychiatrist. The psychiatrist increased one of her anxiety meds. We saw the social skills therapist today and we see both the anxiety therapist and the psychiatrist tomorrow.  Everyone now agrees that my daughter is depressed.  I had a heart to heart talk with my daughter last night.and listed all her behaviors that indicate that she is depressed.  We also talked about her statements that she didn't want to be here anymore and that she wanted to die.  She said she didn't want to commit suicide but that she wanted to go to Mars.  I managed to convince her how concerned I was for her and that I wanted her to be happy. I think she thought no one really cared.  She seemed to really relax more and has wanted lots of hugs since.  She is still having meltdowns easily but she now admits she is depressed.  I suspect we will end up with a prescription for an anti-depressant tomorrow.  The anxiety meds she is taking just aren't helping enough.


 

Bobcatridge
by New Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 2:16 PM

Well, there was no prescription for an anti-depressant from the psychiatrist.  My daughter takes 30mg of buspar a day.  For a week she has taken respiridone (0.25mg) at bedtime.  On Monday, the psychiatrist upped the respiridone to 0.5mg at bedtime.  When I asked yesterday do we need something for the depression, the psychiatrist looked surprised and said the respiridone was a mood stabilizer and should help.  We just need to wait awhile and give it some time.

We had seen the anxiety therapist earlier in the afternoon.  She thinks all my daughter's problems are because of her social skills issues.  So she had suggested an additional teen girls therapy group that was just formng. Although I agree that the social skills is the main problem, it seems to me the depression was just swept under the rug.  Then the anxiety therapist says she doesn't want to overload my daughter with therapy appointments since we have our present social skills group and possibly  the teen group, so we don't need to schedule an appointment.  She says to view her as a primary care doctor just to supervise overall.  Now what does that mean?  I think that therapy with her has essentially ended. A part of me doesn't mind.  My daughter hates her because she was so confronting.  Although that method did work with the phobias it hadn't been working with her recently.

Neither the anxiety therapist or the psychiatrist mentioned the recording - I don't know but it is like they have already made up their minds and don't want data.  The anxiety therapist suggested the recording although she wanted to use it as a confrontation thing and I refused to do that.  I would have never tried to record except she pushed for it and then she doesn't want to even hear it.  I just don't know what to think. 

I have left a message for the teen girls group therapist.  My plan is to use our present social skills therapist as our main therapist for now.  I am going to tell her all topics are okay and she doesn't have to restrict herself to social skill topics. The social skills therapist expressed an interest in hearing the recording and I may play it for her.  I feel no one is believing me and maybe if she heard it she would understand just how bad things are for my daughter.  I don't know what we need or what I want from these doctors, but I just don't have a warm fuzzy feeling about all this. 

My husband thinks our daughter is manic depressive (bipolar) and he is not so certain about the aspergers diagnosis.  Everyone agrees that she has generalized anxiety disorder with specific phobias.  Last night was open house for the school our daughter goes to.  She was extremely anxious over her outfit and going to the open house.  One thing that was clearly evident was just how poor her social skills are.  In addition, my husband got to witness not only the social skills issues but the anxiety attacks, agitation, constant loud talking at people, etc.  You name it and she did it last night.  It was a good eye opener for my husband who is rarely around to witness it first hand.   

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