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and he wonders why I question him??!! (super long)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 13 Replies
Ok so my fiancée and I have been together for almost 4 years. we have lived together for almost 2 years. Before I came he had tons of friends (he is in college) male and female friends. A month or so after I come visit him he asks me to delete all the guys from my phone. According to him I dont need guys numbers. So I do it, no complaining, because honestly I dont see a need for having high school/party friends in my phone anymore. Ok so I ask him to do the same because I'm a big fan of the whole "fair is fair" thing. Well he says he did and handed me the phone. I dont see any girls and the ones left are mutual friends. Months pass and one day while he is showering he gets a text. I let my curiosity get the best of me and I take a peek. It was under the name "Micheal" and it was a smiley face. So I'm thinking "hmm... weird" so I look in there and there are tons of texts from this "Micheal" person. They all have little smiley and winky faces. Ok so I know he doesn't have any close friends with the name Micheal. I call the number and a girl answers. Wtf??!! I hang up and save the number into my phone. Later I call it from my phone and pretend Im looking for a "Susie" she says her real name and I apologize for having the wrong number. I ask my fiancée and he denies it. So I call it infront of him and he says she's a good friend. Well then why hide it??!! Why couldn't he explain that before??!! Anyways... he has a class with her this semester. He asks if he can go TO HER APARTMENT to take a test with her bc he failed the last one. I ask him why can't he take it in our apartments clubhouse or why can't she come over?? He says Im being real dumb and we have an argument. I tell him he should respect my feelings. He's lied about her multiple times. So of course I question why. He ends up telling her he will take it alone in our apartment. He failed. So now I feel bad. The thing is he lies about a lot of little things. The way I see it I of he doesn't have anything to hide then why lie?? He says because I freak out. Well fuc* I freakin out because he lies!! Lol. Ah... rant over :)
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 1, 2013 at 1:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 1, 2013 at 6:56 AM
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Sounds like y'all have major trust issues for almost no reason. You started off the relationship saying neither one of you can have friends of the opposite sex, immediately dictating who the other can and cannot talk to. Not a good way to start off a relationship, imo.

In the 9 1/2 years my Husband and I have been together we have never told the other who they can and cannot talk to/be friends with. 

AleaKat
by Bronze Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 7:57 AM
Quoting Anonymous:

Sounds like y'all have major trust issues for almost no reason. You started off the relationship saying neither one of you can have friends of the opposite sex, immediately dictating who the other can and cannot talk to. Not a good way to start off a relationship, imo.

In the 9 1/2 years my Husband and I have been together we have never told the other who they can and cannot talk to/be friends with. 





Same.
I do think its shady if him to be acting the way he is but at the same time the thought of how the relationship started is already a sign of mistrust.
I've never told him who to and not to be friends with and him the same with me even though a good portion of my friends are guys. He gets it! I just don't get along with women all that great. I like to be one if the guys it's more relaxing.

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3xangel
by Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 1:47 AM
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Why is he still your fiancé when he is a known liar? I would hold off on any engagement until you guys have been through counseling and able to see if the relationship is worth keeping or not.
He's hiding this chick for a reason and it doesn't seem like a good reason.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 6, 2013 at 7:48 PM
No, you're right. I have a few male friends, not that I see them often, but I made sure he met each and every one of them, so if I say, oh, I spoke to Ken, for example, he will never ask himself, who the f is Ken? If he has female friends, even if they know about you, you need to look them in the eye over a cup of coffee and chat. Otherwise, who knows what they're thinking, even if dh is as faithful as Lassie.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 6, 2013 at 9:27 PM
You need to leave him, he is NEVER going to stop lying.
WillsMOM72
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 11:44 PM
1 mom liked this
I would not be with someone like that. Obviously their closer than u think.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 7, 2013 at 12:02 AM

 So you're accepting of having a Fiancee or husband as a LIAR...and he lies directly to your face ? Hmmm,  Relationships and Marriage are based on TRUST, if you don't have trust there is NO relationship. It's that simple.  And why is he hiding her if she's just a friend ?  Why haven't you met this so called "friend" why couldn't he invite her over to do college work and introduce you two?

I would give him back the engagement ring..and RUN as fast as your little legs can.........Otherwise you're setting yourself up for Huge disappointments in your future with this guy.

  It really doesn't sound like he is INTO YOU...if he has women on the side...and that's what she is.  Why don't you use his phone when he's sleeping and make a DATE with HER, meet her at some restaurant for breakfast the next day..(early).and ask her for her newest pic...so you know what she looks like....then sit down and have a CHAT with her eye to eye. Then you MIGHT find out the truth.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 7, 2013 at 3:44 AM

Never trust a liar...Sorry but if there was nothing going on other than studying and class or whatever then he didn't need to hide the number under a man's name...I don't trust this guy and I don't even know him. Sorry, but I'd say you feel like you two need to be more open, and that you love him and want to be with him but you are scared and feeling like because of the lies you have trust issues. Not trusting someone does not mean you don't love them. Tell him you want to exchange passwords and I'd continue to periodically check his phone and these texts with "michael"...I seriously don't believe you need to snoop or look until they give you a reason...and he has. And watch out for when he starts carrying his phone everywhere and doesn't leave it out where you can see it (like when he showers...) My dh did this and that's when I thought it was shady and looked and he was cheating...

Journeysmama11
by Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 3:46 AM

Yea, I'd try talking to her...maybe she doesn't even know about you. Give her the benefit of the doubt. but if she knows about you that's a whore you're dealing with ...and a player for a fiance...and I agree, RUN!

Quoting Anonymous:

 So you're accepting of having a Fiancee or husband as a LIAR...and he lies directly to your face ? Hmmm,  Relationships and Marriage are based on TRUST, if you don't have trust there is NO relationship. It's that simple.  And why is he hiding her if she's just a friend ?  Why haven't you met this so called "friend" why couldn't he invite her over to do college work and introduce you two?

I would give him back the engagement ring..and RUN as fast as your little legs can.........Otherwise you're setting yourself up for Huge disappointments in your future with this guy.

  It really doesn't sound like he is INTO YOU...if he has women on the side...and that's what she is.  Why don't you use his phone when he's sleeping and make a DATE with HER, meet her at some restaurant for breakfast the next day..(early).and ask her for her newest pic...so you know what she looks like....then sit down and have a CHAT with her eye to eye. Then you MIGHT find out the truth.


CherrieFaeries
by Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 5:50 AM

Seems to me that there's a lot of distrust there from the beginning. If he's willing to hide a "study date" from you, that would make me think about what else he's hiding...just a thought. You two need to have a serious talk and some counseling before you make a more serious commitment.

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