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The future...

Posted by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 8:24 PM
  • 6 Replies

Ya know... I hate being able to see the crap I'm going to have to deal with in the future. My husband has a (half) brother, 6 yrs younger than him. MIL doesnt know who DHs dad is and is married to DS2 father. So, DH has always been treated a bit differently. His brother has more privilages and gets away with dumb stuff. They are both great men and are actually very similar, they were jsut raised differently... if that makes sense. Anyway. My hubby and I have been together 4 yrs. Almost 5. My MIL does not like me, but kind of pretends to. She is a huge drama queen, very selfish. Does a lot of nice things but its to make herself look good. Her heart is not in the good deed. So I moved in with them, and we did ok, but it was a wierd adjustment. The honey didnt drip long and her true colors came out. DH and I both worked and gave them more money than they originally asked for because they were terrible with money. We were saving to get married. Well we got married alone in a court house because there was no support form either side of our families. They like to try to guilt trip us for being left out. 

BIL is 17 and has been dating an army daughter for ...about 2 yrs now. Shes nice, sweet. Good girl. I like her. But I resent her a bit (Dont bash, I have no besties to open up to) They are only dating and their teen relationship is taken more seriously than ours. They are constantly flying back and forth to visit each other, mom and dads paying of course. They never offered a dime for our wedding. I just read a FB post from future SIL, 

I have to say, you raised ***** to treat his girlfriend like a princess! I miss you and love you mama!!!!! ♥ (: I'll see you this summer (:

Great, so she calls her mama now? I can already tell she will be the favorite DIL. Which means once they have kids, ours will not exist. If they pay for a wedding, We're moving. I know this is ridiculous and immature, but this post jsut got to me. I am not normally so judgemental but I read it and I had like a long flash of the future and I felt like crying. I have a life of knowing my family is not equal to stepford wife of #2. I have some anxiety pain knowing I'm going to be treated like crap consistantly and unwelcome but dealt with whenever MIL feels like showing off. And it sucks because... I really liek this girl too, lol. BIL and GF are my sisters age, and they are just such fun people. But my MIL talks so much crap about people, even if theres nothing to talk crap about, that ... what if I never had a chance to be friends with my furture SIL? MIL is just such a trashy person. 

I guess it hurts so much because I worked hard to become apart of DHs family. I did a lot for MIL while she went through cancer. Including turning DHs feelings towards her around. He didnt go around there much and she always complained about it. He learned to forgive her for all her BS. I was THERE for her. I drove her, bought stuff for her, cleaned her house and fed her family when she was too sick. And I will always be second best to this chick. Whom I like. I hope I'm wrong about this. 

can of worms                     crying

by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 8:24 PM
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by Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 8:34 PM

That sucks.  I would stick it out as gracefully as possible.   You can still rise above the drama.  Families are crazy - take care of yours.  See what happens.  Talk to MIL.  Or write her a letter telling her your sensitivities... you never know.

by Silver Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 11:58 AM

Why not just move anyway?

by Gold Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 12:14 PM
Moving out and moving on may be wise, you tried, I've seen this stuff with family over time, we have someone in ours who just does not like her DIL, and never will. She finds the dumbest things to bitch about and it's not going to change.
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by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 12:31 PM

MIL will never change and for whatever reason, no matter how great you are to her, she will never like you.  If you just accept that she is who she is you'll be less disappointed in the future when she behaves exactly as you expect her to.  And if by some miracle she does change, you will be pleasantly surprised.  

by Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 12:42 PM
I'd say, just be the best person you can be, but bow out gracefully when it comes to the drama. And, if u like this girl, don't let ur mil get in the way of a possible good friendship...Ud be surprised at what people see when u think they aren't looking...this future dil may just see right thru ur mil...and that may come in handy later on! I'd move out and on with UR little family and make as many friends as u can. When ur too busy having ur own fun, ull not even notice what's going on in ur mil's drama filled world!! Good luck!
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by Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 12:44 PM

Erm, We moved out years ago, just FYI. We dont live with them. We are just in the same city.

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