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Just when I start coming out of my shell...

Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies
Someone comes knocking. Literally.

I have anxiety issues. I manage it by my house being off limits to anyone but dh and the kids. You could say its my haven. The obvious exceptions are our maintenance folks and the manager at our biannual inspections.

But even before that, I NEVER opened the door when I was alone. Just never has worked out to my advantage if you kwim. So every time I get a knock at the door I cower like a little beaten puppy in a corner. Not a joke. I'm told its a sign of PTSD but my dr said I just have anxiety.

Well I FINALLY after 2 years living in this new apartment felt safe on my deck and the outside stairs (sweeping up the tree droppings cause they smelled). Yesterday was a good day. I planned (and was looking forward to) going out onto the green and getting dirt for ds' soda bottle green house.

Then today some tall black guy with a clipboard rang our bell. Dh rings the bell when he comes home. (Though he shouldn't now that I think about it) ds beelined for the door to open it. I freaked and screamed "no" and relocated the door fast.

Remember how I said I cower? It's also to make them think I'm not home. I don't make a sound. This guy KNEW we were home and kept ringing the bell. It's been an hour and I'm still shaking.

Fuck whoever that was. It wasn't a cop or anyone from my apartment and its a Saturday. So either some guy selling something, or a creditor trying to threaten me with a lawsuit. (A fake one, since they can't legally sue me).

Just dammit. I'm terrified of going out because I have this image of him lurking in the bushes (ridiculous I know but still).

Thanks I needed that vent.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 6, 2013 at 6:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 7, 2013 at 12:10 AM
I get that way alot- my doc said anxiety also but controlling it's the hard part. I rarely leave the house because I don't feel safe. when I do go out it's literally hours before I can start relaxing. I only have a few friends who accept me 100% (honestly 1) and having anyone over sends me in major panic mode. the meds I was given worked well but the side effects were terrible and they were highly addicting so I stopped taking them. good luck and try some yoga to help calm down. it helps me sometimes-hugs
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 7, 2013 at 12:25 AM

 Get a "no solicitation sign" for your door. Maybe your husband can call you when he is at the door. let it ring 3 x and hang up call back ring 3  so you know its him or a special knock.  You must teach your child to never open the door. if you have a bell people (anyone) can ring it. I'm sorry your so frightened. I wish there was somethin that could help you more.  Are there any classes for people like you to help with the condition ?

by Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 12:26 AM

Aww. I'm sorry you had to go through that. It isn't that bad for me, but it does annoy me when people come to the door.

by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 6:00 AM

Have you ever thought about counseling? I know the outside world is intimidating, but it just might help. I've been in counseling for anxiety, and other stuff too, but it seems to help. Just a thought. I hope you can work past this sweetie. Best of luck.

by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 7, 2013 at 7:13 AM

so, yell at him thru the door you're busy and not to come back??

by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:00 AM
I had the same thing happen to me about a month ago. I refuse to open the door for anyone unless I know them.
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by Lube Girl on Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:04 AM

Home is my sanctuary too. I hate people coming to the door. Has set my anxiety off since I was little.

by Silver Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 12:06 PM

Are you seeing a therapist?

by Gold Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 1:22 PM
I don't like surprises, if I want you to come by, I'll invite you. But your condition is debilitating, get the no solicitation design as suggested but please try to get treatment.
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by Anonymous 5 on Apr. 7, 2013 at 1:25 PM
Don't believe you. This post is very detailed except on how you know he was a tall black guy with a clipboard. Why does it matter who was at the door if you do this to everyone?

You shouldn't make fun of those with real problems.
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