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help with procrastinating husband...

Posted by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 9:38 PM
  • 9 Replies
Hi I'm new here, I just need a place to vent and hopefully get some advices or different points of view. I do not get upset if I'm told I'm wrong on the contrary. Well here's my problem, my husband is a procrastinator when it comes to big things...I just found out he Hastings don't his taxes since 2008 which now is hurting mines. We've been together for 2yrs and 6 months and been married for only 7months. I'm 8 months pregnant and idk if it's hormones but now his slacking is getting the best of me. He works around 14 hrs a day 6 days which just adds to his slacking since he's always too tired to do anything. I've had many talks with him about this and his job since is hurting our home. I'm just tired of talking and feeling like his mom...I don't want to just go ahead and do the things that have to be done bc I don't want to make him feel bad bit I'm tired of waiting and getting into trouble in the way like the problem with our taxes...what can I do help him stop procrastinating without nagging and just driving him insane...
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by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 9:38 PM
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Replies (1-9):
psych_mom
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 11:06 PM

You can file separately if he won't get his rear in gear.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 6, 2013 at 11:16 PM

 Well on the taxes, you can do them....Look online you can go back a certain amount of years and hopefully it wouldn't hurt. OR  file married  but separately, (alone) since you've only been married 7 months. That's what I would do. Remember now that you're married you will also be held responsible by the IRS.  You wouldn't be for the years he didn't do his...because you weren't married then..  Let him file married and separately too and get his straightened out asap.

As for the house. Men are suppose to do household repairs if they can,can he?  If not hire a handy man to do what you need done, or ask your family ( brother, uncle, dad ). I would tell him "Honey , since you're so busy and you can't get to %BV^T I think I'm just going to hire someone to do those things because they really need to be done before the baby arrives" and see what he says...If he says, No, then tell him you want it done by a certain date and give him a date...(have it ready) and then just hire someone if he doesnt do it.....Men don't like other men doing things for their wives...So chances are he will do them ......A good place to find handy people is at a church, many members like to earn extra money especially older retired people  who have tons of experience..Good Luck, And I hope everything works out in your future...Just remember, if he is this way now...he will always be this way...You either have to accept it...or you don't.  but since he works a lot hopefully you'll have  some extra to have the things done , that need doing.

ff-princess
by Bronze Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 6:01 AM

if you have income of your own, you can file an innocent spouse form when filing your taxes.  that makes the IRS separate your portion of the return from his, and they will only take his portion for back taxes.  you are not legally liable for a debt he incurred prior to the date of your marriage.  it will take longer to get your refund back, but it sure beats not getting anything at all.

also, he can go back and file a return up to 7 years ago and the IRS will accept it.  there will probably be penalties for filing late, but they will be less than if he doesn't file at all and they come after him.  because once they get his name on their radar they're not going away until they get what's theirs, even if they have to seize his return for the next decade.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 7, 2013 at 7:12 AM

hire the help to get it done, and you'll be satisfied...if he's working THAT much, no wonder he has no energy left..and you want him to spend what little time off he has doing MORE work?? Get a grip...and hire some help

mayra.riley
by New Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 8:58 AM
Ohhh no I just mean things he has to do that I can't help him with....I do everything around the house. I work 10 hours days pregnant and we have a 5 year old that I do everything for bc I understand he can't help. But there are things I can't do for him...like his taxes, like a problem we have with HOA since the house is under his name, this is what I mean he only has to do his own things I do everything else and yet he won't.


Quoting Anonymous:

hire the help to get it done, and you'll be satisfied...if he's working THAT much, no wonder he has no energy left..and you want him to spend what little time off he has doing MORE work?? Get a grip...and hire some help


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0oSamanthaKayo0
by Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 9:02 AM
I agree with everything below :-)

Quoting Anonymous:

 Well on the taxes, you can do them....Look online you can go back a certain amount of years and hopefully it wouldn't hurt. OR  file married  but separately, (alone) since you've only been married 7 months. That's what I would do. Remember now that you're married you will also be held responsible by the IRS.  You wouldn't be for the years he didn't do his...because you weren't married then..  Let him file married and separately too and get his straightened out asap.


As for the house. Men are suppose to do household repairs if they can,can he?  If not hire a handy man to do what you need done, or ask your family ( brother, uncle, dad ). I would tell him "Honey , since you're so busy and you can't get to %BV^T I think I'm just going to hire someone to do those things because they really need to be done before the baby arrives" and see what he says...If he says, No, then tell him you want it done by a certain date and give him a date...(have it ready) and then just hire someone if he doesnt do it.....Men don't like other men doing things for their wives...So chances are he will do them ......A good place to find handy people is at a church, many members like to earn extra money especially older retired people  who have tons of experience..Good Luck, And I hope everything works out in your future...Just remember, if he is this way now...he will always be this way...You either have to accept it...or you don't.  but since he works a lot hopefully you'll have  some extra to have the things done , that need doing.

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catrig
by Silver Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 12:28 PM


Why can't he help with the 5 year old.

Quoting mayra.riley:

Ohhh no I just mean things he has to do that I can't help him with....I do everything around the house. I work 10 hours days pregnant and we have a 5 year old that I do everything for bc I understand he can't help. But there are things I can't do for him...like his taxes, like a problem we have with HOA since the house is under his name, this is what I mean he only has to do his own things I do everything else and yet he won't.


Quoting Anonymous:

hire the help to get it done, and you'll be satisfied...if he's working THAT much, no wonder he has no energy left..and you want him to spend what little time off he has doing MORE work?? Get a grip...and hire some help




mayra.riley
by New Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 8:26 PM
Well when he leaves for work she's sleeping and when he comes back she's sleeping so he doesn't see her much only on Sunday


Quoting catrig:


Why can't he help with the 5 year old.


Quoting mayra.riley:

Ohhh no I just mean things he has to do that I can't help him with....I do everything around the house. I work 10 hours days pregnant and we have a 5 year old that I do everything for bc I understand he can't help. But there are things I can't do for him...like his taxes, like a problem we have with HOA since the house is under his name, this is what I mean he only has to do his own things I do everything else and yet he won't.





Quoting Anonymous:

hire the help to get it done, and you'll be satisfied...if he's working THAT much, no wonder he has no energy left..and you want him to spend what little time off he has doing MORE work?? Get a grip...and hire some help







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NikkiMisfit
by Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 9:12 PM
1 mom liked this

I totally know how you feel. When something needs done, I get it done. My daughter's father is the same as you, but I don't think he's done taxes since 2007. His taxes don't affect me, though. He has every excuse in the book...about everything. Honestly, if you want the job done right sometime you have to do it yourself. So what if he feels bad. At least things will be done. Maybe it will push his butt into gear to start doing the things he knows he has to do. 

~*~ Nikki ~*~

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself." ~Harvey Fierstein

My Blog: www.dearnikki.com

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