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He won't help.

Posted by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:43 AM
  • 12 Replies
I'm new here & hate to make my first post one where.I'm ranting & raving, but I've got to vent because I can't take it any longer. My son is almost 8 weeks old. Six weeks before he was born, the business I had worked at.for 4 years closed, leaving.me.relying on $247 a week in unemployment to live off of. While I was pregnant, my boyfriend bought just a handful of things for our baby, while I, along with my family, busted my.butt to buy all the baby would need. In the past 8 weeks, my boyfriend has literally not spent one penny on our son. Everything he needs, I have to buy. When I mention money issues to him, he tells me that I know he'll help when he can in a few weeks once he gets started back to work good (he's always off during the winter because of the type of work he does & gets unemployment during that time). I've all but begged him for money to help with our son, but he never offers. What's even more irritating is that just a few days ago, he went and borrowed several thousand dollars to buy a 2-door Blazer with (very practical for a family...) & is taking what he had left to buy rims, have it repainted, etc. This is his "project" since he already has another vehicle. It's not like he's a kid, either. He'll be 30 this year & should be more responsible than that. I just don't know what to do anymore. He doesn't seem to see a problem with this, but I've been pushed as far as I can be. This isn't even all of the problems we've had since our son was born, but that's another long post for another day. I just don't understand why he doesn't think he should help. He says he wants us to be a family, but how can we be a family.when I'm the only one buying what our son needs? Maybe I'm overreacting. I don't know.
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by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:43 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:46 AM

Take him to court for childsupport. He doesn't sound like he is concerned for the child or you so do what you need to do to get the help your need for your son.

ColleenF30
by Lube Girl on Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:09 AM
1 mom liked this

I've found all men tend to be kids. Their toys just get more expensive.

Talienas
by Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:36 AM
This.
And if you're together it honestly doesn't sound like it so midnight as well break ties now. Sorry momma


Quoting Anonymous:

Take him to court for childsupport. He doesn't sound like he is concerned for the child or you so do what you need to do to get the help your need for your son.


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catrig
by Silver Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 12:00 PM

File for child support.

opal10161973
by Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 12:12 PM
1 mom liked this

You have yourself a manchild darlin.  They come in all ages and sizes and some of them NEVER become responsible, not even after children or marriage.  The reason is that they only care about what they want, much like a child who only sees things from their own perspective and are unable to be empathetic because no one has taught them how.  Man children rarely get better, but there is some hope with therapy.  So, your choices are to leave and find a real man or to stay and insist on counseling.  Hoping he will change all on his own, is a pipe dream.

GL no matter what you decide.

KiKi-Love
by Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 12:25 PM
I would file for child support. There's no excuse...
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kerryket
by Gold Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 1:15 PM
Help when he can? No, time for getting real, get court ordered child support. Kids need things when they need them, not when the parents feel like it.
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tn-mommy
by New Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 1:38 PM
Thank you for all of your responses. Coming from n outsider's perspective, they've been so helpful in letting me see that I have a legitimate reason to be upset. I'm so tired of hinting around to him that I need help & it's his responsibility to do that. I know just being open & telling him he's going to have to help because it's half his responsibility is going to cause an argument (even though it shouldn't because that should be a given), but I can't take it anymore.
He never wants to come to my house to visit the baby. He always wants me to bring him there, which means I spend more money for gas to do that. He thinks the baby & I should be permanently living with him, but then I'll be expected to be financially responsible for our son as I am now, do all of the care-giving I'm doing now, plus buy all of the groceries there & help him pay bills (I'm living with my mom right now & she's been a huge help to me throughout all of this. I couldn't have made it without her. Just had to throw that in there. LOL).
I just can't take it anymore.
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LizLestrange
by Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 1:41 PM

Boys and cars...AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! 

psych_mom
by Gold Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 2:17 PM

So glad this isn't true.

Quoting ColleenF30:

I've found all men tend to be kids. Their toys just get more expensive.


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