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My husband and I are fighting a lot. I don't like it

Posted by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:13 AM
  • 14 Replies
I have been feeling like crap with things my husband does. Sometimes he is great, other times not so much. He only worries about the big things in life and doesn't notice the little things. I feel unappreciated and like a maid. He is the one who brings home the money and I am stuck at home with my 7month old daughter and all the house work, plus 2dogs. I do not like where we live at all, and my husband knows it. I do not like mostly everyone around here, even one of his sisters (for good reason). I don't know what to do. He doesn't seem to ever be interested in what I am unless it is Prepping, or guns and ammo, or food. I like Disney, stuff for our daughter, stuff for the home, vacations, and a bunch of stuff. I feel like he only sees me as the mother and caregiver of our daughter, house maid, and sexual partner when HE wants it. Arg!
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:13 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Lizrami
by New Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:18 AM
I've felt the same way! Makes you go into a depresstion:/ it helps to talk things thru however sometimes they don't listen... my hubby also was the only one working but it helped me to get out of the house for a couple hours so I work part time have a babysitter and do my best to talk to hubby bout how I feel... it also helped me to so things before I was asked so I didn't feel like I was being bossed around lol good luck hope it all gets better
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Lmm91986
by New Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:22 AM

I wish he would listen to me and do what I say. He says I'm always mad, which I am. But he never takes the blame, never says"I'm sorry" and always makes me feel like a psycho and like he just doesn't care. He can be great at times. But I feel like most of the time he is only concerned about himself. It sucks! 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 9, 2013 at 6:28 AM

Well, when the sucky times start outnumbering the good times, it's time to make some choices about what you are going to do...Do you have a plan at all?  If not, start making one. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:16 AM

Time to get out and make the life you want happen.  As long as you continue to blame him for everything nothing will change.

Megan11587
by Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:21 AM
Dh and i have been fighting a lot lately as well. Our fights arent about the same things as yours, but i finally got it to stop through an email. Discussions were turning into screaming matches so neither of us were being heard. We had an email exchange after cooling off. We were able to think through our responses and think through what the other was saying without the need for an instant reply. It worked out nicely.
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AleaKat
by Bronze Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 9:31 AM
I went through that too.
So e times we just get so caught up with life we forget to live.
My husband started doing the exact same thing. It took a weekend of couple alone to
E with no distractions to set us right again. We just needed a reboot.
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psych_mom
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 9:38 AM

Just because you are going through a bad patch doesn't mean it is time to ditch the entire marriage. When you can work through the hard times it does make your marriage stronger. Every marriage goes through bad times, if we all walked away during those times, every single marriage would end. I agree with maybe a couples weekend, writing each other instead of speaking to each other and honestly compromise. Also you can't expect him to do what you tell him to do- he is an adult and when you tell him to do something he is going to feel like you're his mom, not his wife and do the opposite just because he can.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:40 PM

I've been married almost 11 years and we have had our rough patches too - I think most marriages do.  Don't let it continue on like this, make a plan to make some changes that will make you feel better about your life. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 9, 2013 at 2:16 PM
It's a rough patch. You'll get through it.
Lmm91986
by New Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 2:27 PM

Thanks everyone. I have no intention of leaving him. I made vows of for better or worse, and I mean it! The only reason I would leave him is if he cheated on me or he beat me or my daughter. I know times get difficult. It just seems like he and I have been going through a very difficult time since last year. We found out I was pregnant, we got married quickly because of it (but we were engaged before we found out), we found out my father was dying of cancer, we went through all the hassle of finding and moving into a new home, I had the baby 2 days after we moved in, and we went to ny from Missouri for my fathers funeral one month after my baby was born. I am extremely emotional because of all of that and I haven't be able to properly deal with anything because it just piles up constantly! Now, we have serious financial issues. Life is giving us a huge mountain to climb. 

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