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What's the point ??

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 7 Replies

My cousin has sleep apnea. She has had two sleep studies done. She was on oxygen before to use ( only at night when she slept ) as she is very overweight and considered morbidly obese and so out of breath walking room to room . I know not all heavyset people need oxygen and I do have a friend whom is under 130 pounds needs the machine for her sleep apnea so thin people have that trouble too.  She has not done anything to lose weight and recently got a donated machine from a company in her town she says and did not have to pay for anything but later will need to buy the things needed, other than the distilled water it uses, but she only wears the mask about 15-30 minutes once or twice in the night. 

She has had this machine for over 2 weeks and has not been trying to use it longer or anything. She falls asleep easily during the day and then bitches you out saying she was not asleep as long as she was and I visit her but she can't stay awake. She does not even know I have left her house half the time!!  She gets pissed off if you say anything but I cannot help her stay awake. Cannot make her use the machine either. She has kids she depends on and has not been in a store in over 3 years cause she cannot walk it. Her two kids are under 18 and they have to walk to a store if I cannot make it to shop for their Mom.

I just get to ticked off over it. Get up and move around and help yourself. I have tried to help motivate her without sounding mean and trying to be helpful but I tend to sound like I am bitching her out but after helping her clean her own house as her kids do not want to since they do everything but the laundry and the Mom does do dishes the kids do not clean their own bathrooms and their Mom did not know how bad their roomd were til I mentioned how dirty they were, it was like a scene from the show HOARDERS with her kids. Why would she care or even know? She does not walk the extra 15 feet down the hall way to even go to their rooms. Well not untill I had said something when I came to help the kids clean up.It was just unreal. How sad you cannot even clean the very toilet you sit on every day. Just gross. I wished I could encourage her more but I just can't. We were supposed to go walking when it was cooler in the evening time, or nearing dark and I would come by after work. I went over and she was asleep at 5:45PM. Wakes up at 7PM and then says it was too late to walk outside even though it is daylight.

Really?? confused

Rant over 

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 10, 2013 at 2:59 AM
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Replies (1-7):
psych_mom
by Gold Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 6:57 AM

You have done what you can, now you need to leave it alone. You are going to keep stressing yourself out over this and it isn't going to do your health any good. It sucks, but she has to want to change.

kerryket
by Gold Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 8:34 AM
It would be nice to have the kids busy with extracurricular activities and their own friends, after they clean up their rooms. If she is still able to get around, make her have to do her own shoppping by being unavailable as well. There are carts available at most stores now, is anything like that possible, as it is she is going to become more and more dependant and putting more demands on the lives of those around her.
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Butterfly1108
by Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 9:08 AM

She has to WANT to make that change...you doing a great job by trying just don't give up on her give her her space at times and pray she will come around GL.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 10, 2013 at 9:42 AM

Thank you everyone. i do pray she comes around and gets up to be more active and everything but she has not been in a store for over 2 years now and as long as her kids will do it they will or if they protest she says fine then I guess we will all starve and eat what we have now and then being she will pay them to get what they want they go.She can easily fit in my car. I have a van. A friend of hers has taken her to the doctors but I think she has refused to go anywhere unless absolutely necessary cause she messed up the seat in her friends car and its broken from her weight and it tilts or something. 

I give her space and encourage her but it is sad to see. 

AleaKat
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 9:45 AM
Exactly! You're not her fairly god mother, you can't magically help her if she won't make an effort.

Quoting Butterfly1108:

She has to WANT to make that change...you doing a great job by trying just don't give up on her give her her space at times and pray she will come around GL.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 10, 2013 at 2:56 PM

Thank you. I have tried but it worries me as she has two kids. They are like a fish out of water and the good thing they each can cook one thing on the stove top and most meals are micro but in all their years and nearing adulthood they should know how to fend for themselves better is my thought. I taught her son when he was 9 yrs old to tie his shoes! She didn't and would rather he stay in velcro shoes cause it was easier! 

I help when I can and do some shopping but I cannot do the shopping as much as I like. Good that her one child can and the other picks up things from a smaller store. 

mysticalmalissa
by Silver Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 6:03 PM

If they do a reading on the memory card and find she isnt using it, they may take it from her.

The CPAP is  not an oxygen machine, it just air that is forced to keep the back of the throat from closing. The supplies are a monthly cost and expensive.

Good luck but it really sounds like you are wasting your time.

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