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The Venting Booth The Venting Booth

So, I have to step-daughters, 8 and 10, who live with their biological mother and step-father in OH. Well, we only have them for 6 weeks in the summer. Well, last year while they were with us, their mother and the girls insited on Skypeing with Danny, their step-father, for his birthday. Well, a couple months later was my birthday and I don't even think they know despite the fact that the oldest has her own cell phone. Am I overreacting in being upset over this? Am I looking into it too much? Because I'm really kind of hurt right now.

by on Apr. 11, 2013 at 9:50 AM
Replies (11-15):
KaylaBug89
by Member on Apr. 13, 2013 at 6:05 AM
Despite my best efforts the bio mom hates me.


Quoting misymac:

This is boarder line.. The 8 yrs old is not going to understand your hurt and the 10 year old is on the verge of understanding... then you factor in the fact that you only see them 6 out of 52 weeks in the year.. hmmm hard one to call.

What kind of relateionship do you have with bio mom? At this age Bio Mom should remind the girls to be more thoughful.. You should have you hubby speak to his x about this..


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KaylaBug89
by Member on Apr. 13, 2013 at 6:09 AM
Because she hates me I can see them not knowing/caring about my birthday, but not my son's. Their mother out pics of him her fb (never asked me or my husband if that was alright btw) talking about her daughters' brother. So if she can do that the least she could do is remind them of his birthday.


Quoting misymac:

This is boarder line.. The 8 yrs old is not going to understand your hurt and the 10 year old is on the verge of understanding... then you factor in the fact that you only see them 6 out of 52 weeks in the year.. hmmm hard one to call.

What kind of relateionship do you have with bio mom? At this age Bio Mom should remind the girls to be more thoughful.. You should have you hubby speak to his x about this..


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Kortlynia
by Member on Apr. 13, 2013 at 9:36 AM

I wouldn't be too hurt over them missing my birthday.  Like other posters have said, they live with him all but 6 weeks out of the year.  My step-son is 16 (been around him since he was 8) and he has no clue when mine is. It would be nice for the ex to remind them, but obviously that isn't going to happen. I would be more upset over your son's birthday. Maybe have your husband call shortly before the day and remind them.

liliem
by Member on Apr. 13, 2013 at 11:31 AM

Who you wake up to and go to sleep around everyday and is helping provide, etc. is what kids know. I understand what your are saying, but the truth is the truth and the kids will know more what their real dad is to them when they are a bit more mature, hopefully. Its hard to measure from their perspective when they only see him 6 weeks out of the year. No need to point fingers because it doesn't change the facts. And you are just a step-mom and around 6 weeks out of the year. If they felt closer there would be no need for your post. I like suggestions on here though how you can change this scenario. I believe everything you see is the symptoms of the choices of everyone around you and if you want to see something different you have to make an effort to change it. But it is what it is...

Quoting KaylaBug89:

Don't you ever say that he's more of a father. Sorry to jump on you'd but I've been hearing that for years from my husband's ex about every guy she has had in and out of that house, and there have been a lot. My husband does everything he can. He's a great father and just because he can't be there does not make Danny more of or a better father to those girls.


Quoting liliem:

Yes, they live with him, he's more of a father than their bio. You are in their life 6 weeks out of 52 and not even related really. I'd get over it really quick. Sounds petty.



misymac
by on Apr. 13, 2013 at 12:36 PM

That is sad about bio mom feelings toward you.. At this age of the girls, I don't see what you can do about them remembering you on your special day with out coming off as self center.  But your son on the other hand, I would send the girls a gentle reminder on their Facebook [or bio moms fb] the day before his b-day.   Example: ' Hi Girls, just a reminder that tomorrow is { insert son name} birthday and I know how much he is looking forward to hearing from you tomorrow. He misses you both.'....

Quoting Kortlynia:

I wouldn't be too hurt over them missing my birthday.  Like other posters have said, they live with him all but 6 weeks out of the year.  My step-son is 16 (been around him since he was 8) and he has no clue when mine is. It would be nice for the ex to remind them, but obviously that isn't going to happen. I would be more upset over your son's birthday. Maybe have your husband call shortly before the day and remind them.


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