Should she have let us know before the baby shower or was it a secret?
My friend and co-worker announced that she was 5 months pregnant-she said that she waited so long because she didn't know until that time. As her pregnancy went on, I could tell that she was not very excited. She is in her early 40's and all her children are older. She even has a few grandchildren. At work, we would try to make her feel good, but I could tell that she was not all that happy. People at my job like to gossip and criticize, but I felt that it wasn't my place to judge her. I just let her know that I would help her any way that I could (I love babies). I work very close with this lady in my department and I really am the closest one to her because we carpool back and forth to work together. As the pregnancy went on, she continued to act the same-not really sad, but not happy. When it got close to the due date, one of our co-workers threw her a "nice" baby shower and she got alot of nice things. The one throwing the shower spent alot of money-she got all the invitations, the decorations, the cake (it costed $100) and even purchased the baby stroller/car seat combination. The rest of us bought the coordinating things, the swing, playpen, etc... My friend went into the hospital to have the baby and when the baby was born she announced that the baby weighed 7 lbs. When my co-worker and I went to the hospital to see her and the baby, we saw that the baby weighed only 3 lbs-the card with the weight was in the baby incubator crib. At the hospital, her husband announced that the baby had alot of complications and was basically going home to "die" . The baby was born with Trisomy 18 and had alot of birth defects-I have done some research on the internet about this syndrome and I am not sure whether or she knew this was going to happen or not. She did have the amniocentesis but she never said a word about any complications.This is a very sad situation and I am not judging her in any type of way and I could care less about the money I spent on the gifts but alot of people are asking me if she knew about this before and should she have revealed it before everyone spent alot of money. I just tell them that I don't know because I don't know what to think. The baby passed away 6 days later which I am sure is a very difficult thing to go through. All of her co-workers have been very supportive to her and her family through this situation but at the same time wondering why she never mentioned anything before.