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NEED ADVICE AND JUST TO VENT! PLS HELP!

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okay so my bf who is the father of my new born just recently lost his job and lately all he has been doing is smoking pot all day ( because it just recently became legal here in WA) but i keep getting onto him about needing to get clean in order to get a new job but he refuses to listen to me and its driving me nuts its no even just like he is only smoking like a bowl a day its bowl after bowl after bowl its ridiculous he is 35 years old not 16! and we got a baby on the way wtf!!! am i just being controlling bitch like he says or what do you guys think i need ideas on how to deal with this other than yelling at him cause that isn't working

by on Apr. 11, 2013 at 11:40 PM
Replies (11-16):
codfish
by Member on Apr. 12, 2013 at 12:49 PM
1 mom liked this
Tell him to man up! My 18 year old son is more mature than this! At least he is only a bf and not a hubby. Run...now...quickly!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 12, 2013 at 1:01 PM
1 mom liked this

i was in a similar situation about 4 years ago, except i luckily wasn't pregnant.  best thing i ever did was break up with the guy because he, too, wouldn't put down the bong and get a job.  it took me a long time to do it but when i did, it opened me up to dating my now-husband, the greatest man i've ever been with.

right now it's annoying, inconvenient, and even a little insulting that he is taking you for granted and using you to support his lazy ass.  but when that baby comes, it will be worse.  will he be too stoned and lazy to help with the baby and to support you?  money that should be spent on the baby, will he spend it on another quad?  will you be able to afford to support yourself, the baby, and him?

you're a mom now.  you have to do what's best for the baby, and so does he.  he needs to get a job.  he doesn't have to quit smoking, but it should be reserved for after work and days off, when all other responsiblities have been taken care of.  that's called being an adult.

kerryket
by Gold Member on Apr. 12, 2013 at 1:15 PM

Can't work but can afford weed?  Nah.  Shape up or ship out, buddy.

ruralmom0709
by New Member on Apr. 15, 2013 at 12:37 PM

Just get out now...he is not going to change! I went for nearly 10 yrs w/ a pot smoker that couldn't keep a steady job and I am only thanking the Lord that I did not have any kids w/ him. You do have it more difficult w/ the kid, but you really have to make the threats and if no change, LEAVE! Think of it this way, what is best for you kids? Do you really want a role model like him?

anotherhalf
by on Apr. 15, 2013 at 1:12 PM

I would get myself a job and stop being with a 35 year old who still doesn't have his shit together.

catrig
by Silver Member on Apr. 15, 2013 at 1:20 PM

Where is he getting the money for it?  No, not controlling.  Priorities!

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