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Beyond pissed at my husband right now.

Posted by Anonymous
  • 24 Replies

He works third shift, sleeps during the day and is awake with us at night. I so rarely leave the house at night because it feels like he has no idea how to properly care for the kids. Tonight, I had to get some studying done, though, so I went to the library. I was gone for a grand total of 2 hours. 

When I came home, the house was a mess (I expect that every time I leave for more than an hour), toys everywhere. The twins were already in bed, but he didn't turn on their sound machine or even close their door or turn off the lights in the hallway. They were just sitting in bed looking at me. So as soon as I turned on the machine and turned off lights, they crashed (it was 8pm, about 1/2 hour after bed time). Seriously, how hard is it to turn on a white noise machine or make sure that the room is dark so they can sleep? I do this EVERY night right in front of him. Also, no baths, no pajamas, and I seriously doubt they brushed teeth or took their vitamins, but I wasn't expecting any of that to happen. 

Our son who is 5 was sitting up in the LR watching a show and drinking a giant glass of water. I cut him off from ALL liquids at 6pm every night otherwise he pees the bed. He's also supposed to go to bed at 7:30pm with the girls AND we don't watch tv after 6:30pm so they can wind down. Plus, no bath, I made him brush and take his vitamin. He wasn't even in pajamas. 

But the absolute worst? Yeah, Asshole McGee apparently couldn't get his lazy fucking ass off the laptop long enough to change the twins' diapers before he laid them down. OMG. I fell asleep at 10:30, shortly after he left for work. The girls started fussing at 11:30 and went into a full scale rage after 10 minutes. Usually if they wake up they just fuss a bit and go back to sleep. So I check on them and...they have BOTH soaked their bed sheets and clothes. After I changed them, changed their sheets, and laid them back down with a little fuss water (which I NEVER do, but they were both beyond pissed), I go into the kitchen to toss the diapers, and yep, the garbage that I threw in there after dinner was still sitting right on top. No diapers. 

Seriously, how fucking selfish do you have to be to just take your kids and chuck them into bed when you KNOW that a smallish amount of bed time routine will prevent all this? I feel like I'm trapped in the house even when he's here because he just has no idea how to take care of the kids. I hate throwing them off their routine but even more, I HATE that he just can't follow the relatively simple bed time routine we've established. It only takes me 20 minutes to get all three kids ready for bed. Then we take another 10 minutes to pick up toys, read books, pull out clothes for the next day, and then to sleep. It's 1/2 hour out of his night. Even if you don't do it all, at least do the bare minimum, which for me is brushing teeth, diaper change and pajamas, and turning off lights and turn on sound. It's not fair to them to just expect them to lay down and sleep with nothing that they are used to happening. And they rash out really easily, so I was shocked when I took off their soaked diapers to find no diaper rash as well. 

UGH! UGH! UGH! I left him a seriously bitchy FB message and I fully intend to tear into him tomorrow morning. I'm just so sick of his laziness and selfishness. I might ask him once every other week to be alone with the kids and he ALWAYS fucks it up. Once I offered to leave a check list just to make sure he got even some of it, and he got all pissed and said he wasn't a child. Really? 

Ok, end rant. Sorry. Just, bullshit is all. 

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 17, 2013 at 1:14 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 1:36 AM
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I'm sorry mama! My dh is not very great with our kids either. He gets caught up in his video games so much sometimes. I swear I want to bust the freaking xbox! Anytime my son cries he think it's because he either needs to go to bed or he needs to breastfeed just so he can toss him at me. Even if I just fed him 45 minutes ago (he's nearly 9 months so he would NOT need to nurse again that soon!). He wants them in bed at like 7 or 8 but then they wake up WAAAYY too early. Sorry but I don't want to be up at 6 am! They go to bed by 830-9 and get up about 830-9. I want to keep it that way because the schedule works for us. I'm home with them the most so I think I should have the final decision on schedule. I'll come home to things ripped apart and things ruined...just chaos and he says "well, she is just being naughty, they were SOOOO bad tonight..." or "I can't keep track of both of them AND go to the bathroom AND get ds food AND get dd a drink..." REALLY?! because I do it ALL day and manage to not have the room look completely trashed and things ruined when I'm here alone!!!

Totally feel your pain...I'd be pissed!

by New Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 3:14 AM
Wow I'm really thankful I married a grown man & not a child.
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by Silver Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 5:17 AM
1 mom liked this

That sucks!

Did you really bitch him out via FB? LOL

by New Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 6:08 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry the kids had to go through that. Routine is very important for kids. Hopefully when you speak to him something will click in his head and that he'll do things right next time. Hug.
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by Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 8:36 AM

Wow...sorry. Your DH sounds like a teenager, not a grown man. I work 2nd shift 3 days a week and DF is home with our 6 month old for 9 hours each time. I've never once had to get onto him for not caring for our baby. When you talk to DH, calmly tell him that he is a parent. What that entails is not babysitting..he is to parent your children just like you do. No short cuts, no just basic neccesities. Babys  need to be changed, baths need to be done, pjs put on and teeth short cuts. His laptop is not going to grow legs and walk away if he spends 30 minutes parenting your children. It took 2 people to make your children and it takes 2 to raise them.

by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 8:39 AM
This site has me saying this daily!!

Quoting kmjmlj:

Wow I'm really thankful I married a grown man & not a child.
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by Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 8:49 AM

glad no diaper rash..that been a good bitch en out alone,I hate when dh doesn't take my routine with kids as serious as i need consistency,houses with more two kids have to have consistency if not kids are all to hell mom will be all to hell and so much for a mans home life...they dont bitch till it effects them and their time..

by Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 8:50 AM
1 mom liked this

 Get him, girl.  He knows.  He's just trying to get out of doing it more often. Iwould think after your very serious discussions, he will try harder...

by Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 10:13 AM
1 mom liked this

He does it on purpose. Then he knows you won't ask him to do his share anymore.

by Silver Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 10:19 AM

I'd be pissed too.

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