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I'm about fed up with all this CRAP!!! (REALLY LONG RANT)

So, tonight, my father in law starting moaning and bitching about a comment my husband made about toilet paper. All my husband said was that people need to start putting toilet paper in the bathroom when the use up a roll. And then my father in law just went off. First it was about the toilet paper and then he start going off about the garbage and how no one ever helps clean up the kitchen, blah blah blah! Now, yes, it is his house. But it's technically my husband's house as well as his name is on the deed. We pay rent every month and help with the groceries. It just gets so frustrating sometimes because he ALWAYS does this when he drinks. But he always wants to bitch and me and the hubby. Sometimes he and husband's brother will get into but good grief. One comment about toilet paper and he goes off as if the hubby insulted him or something! Oh, and don't even get me started about this morning when my husband's loud ass brother woke my son up. Terry, my FIL, yelled at me because I yelled at Frankie. FIL said "It's 11:00, it's time for him to get up anyway." I tried to explain that we had a late night because of teething but he just kept on and on so I just walked off. He has all these opinions about how to raise MY son...it's extremely irritating. I can't have one freaking opinion in this house without getting yelled at. Granted, the hubby could help out around the house more. I would but I'm busy with an active 10 month old. The thing is...no one else helps Terry around the house. So why doesn't he go and bitch at hubby's brothers? Hubby has started saving his money so we can get our own trailer. But he only gets $690 a month and half of that goes towards rent. Hubby has his own bills to pay like the computer and t.v and stuff. Plus, he buys the stuff I need every month plus stuff for the baby. I am just really tired of this. Frankie is mentally slow and is always going off about something. He's already broken a few dish and my sandwich maker thingy during one of his fits. I actually had to take my son out of the kitchen because Frankie was swinging a freaking frying pan around! I've done told Terry that he needs to put frankie somewhere before he ends up hurting somebody but he won't listen... GRRRR! *Apparently, i did not state this in the above post. I would just like to point out that I do help out. I don't just sit around the house all day doing nothing. I do the dishes when there are dishes to be done, I sweep the floor when it needs sweeping, I do laundry, I cook from time to time. And it isn't like Terry does a whole lot of house work either. most of the time, he's either watching T.v or on the computer...just like everyone else. I just get frustrated when he gets drunk and bitches about how no one helps out around the house...because I do help out.*
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by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 12:23 AM
Replies (21-30):
JenniferMiller0
by Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 4:32 PM

Quoting Anonymous:

Oh I could NOT live with the inlaws. That would be horrific. 


He's not bad all the time...mostly when he drinks.
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kailu1835
by Bronze Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 7:59 PM

Why do you live with your father in law?  At any rate, I highly suggest getting a play yard off of freecycle for the baby (I have one and it is a life saver.  I get so much more done now!) and/or baby carrier.  And if you feel that your son is in danger because of Frankie, then get professional help.  Your son is entitled to live in a safe environement, and if your FIL is going to ignore that Frankie can be a very real threat to himself and others, then time to get someone from the outside to intervene.

My husband used to ask me what it was I did all day while he was at work.  So for a week I wrote everything down, and at the end of the week, handed it to him to read.  He said he got exhausted just reading the things I did every day, and I can't remember a time since then that he's asked me what I did all day, because he knows it's a long and exhausting list :D

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 21, 2013 at 7:32 AM

I would put the baby in daycare and get a job even if you only clear $20 a week after paying for childcare. It would be worth it to me just to get away from those fools for a few hours. Your baby would get to play with other children and get away from the insanity for a little while too. Most daycare centers will let you bring your baby there for a reduced rate if you work there. That way you could see him throughout the day and be earning a little money at the same time. Or maybe there is a family that will let you babysit in their home and bring your baby with you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 21, 2013 at 12:09 PM
I'd move if I was you.
Basherte
by Bronze Member on Apr. 21, 2013 at 3:23 PM

Do your part. Don't worry about the ones that don't help. Stop complaining about helping out. Stop talking about the damn toilet paper. 

If you knew how many times I had to go get a new roll because someone didn't put another roll in, you would be shocked.

If something needs done just do it instead of complaining about how it isn't getting done.

I have an active 4 year old child that is also autistic. Right now the only thing that needs done in this house is the laundry and the dishes. I'm not complaining. I'm the one sitting on my ass doing nothing right now. My husband is walking to the grocery store which takes 30 minutes just to get to. So he's gone at the very least an hour and that's just to get there and back, and not buy anything. My son is upstairs taking a nap for about another hour. In a few minutes I'm going to go do a load of dishes. 

Tonight I'm making hot wings, potato skins for dinner. 

When I lived in a house full of 8 people. I was pretty much the only one doing anything. I had a young child as well. I cleaned the dishes, the kitchen, the living room, the hallway, the stairs, the cat's room, my room, the bathroom. And basically cooked quite a few meals as well. The woman of the house cooked occasionally, and had a paper route. The husband actually worked and had medical issues. The kids didn't do shit. 

I didn't complain. I just did it. I no longer live there, thank the Goddess. Most of our money went to food for the house.

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JenniferMiller0
by Member on Apr. 21, 2013 at 3:36 PM

Quoting Basherte:

Do your part. Don't worry about the ones that don't help. Stop complaining about helping out. Stop talking about the damn toilet paper. 

If you knew how many times I had to go get a new roll because someone didn't put another roll in, you would be shocked.

If something needs done just do it instead of complaining about how it isn't getting done.

I have an active 4 year old child that is also autistic. Right now the only thing that needs done in this house is the laundry and the dishes. I'm not complaining. I'm the one sitting on my ass doing nothing right now. My husband is walking to the grocery store which takes 30 minutes just to get to. So he's gone at the very least an hour and that's just to get there and back, and not buy anything. My son is upstairs taking a nap for about another hour. In a few minutes I'm going to go do a load of dishes. 

Tonight I'm making hot wings, potato skins for dinner. 

When I lived in a house full of 8 people. I was pretty much the only one doing anything. I had a young child as well. I cleaned the dishes, the kitchen, the living room, the hallway, the stairs, the cat's room, my room, the bathroom. And basically cooked quite a few meals as well. The woman of the house cooked occasionally, and had a paper route. The husband actually worked and had medical issues. The kids didn't do shit. 

I didn't complain. I just did it. I no longer live there, thank the Goddess. Most of our money went to food for the house.


Oh goodness. And I thought I had it bad! We do plan on moving out and in my husband defense, he wasn't complaining. All he did was ask people to put a new roll of toilet paper in the bathroom! But in my FIL's defense, hubby really should start helping out around the house more. He has a bad back so he can't do a lot of heavy lifting but he could do the dishes or cook every once in a while. I just get annoyed when I get yelled out for not helping out when I'm the ONLY one that ever helps out. Terry just doesn't realize how much I help out because a lot of the time he is either napping, on the computer, or gone with one of his friends trying to make a little money. I just HATE cleaning up after people that are perfectly capable of cleaning up after themselves, my hubby included.
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Basherte
by Bronze Member on Apr. 21, 2013 at 3:41 PM


Quoting JenniferMiller0:


Quoting Basherte:

Do your part. Don't worry about the ones that don't help. Stop complaining about helping out. Stop talking about the damn toilet paper. 

If you knew how many times I had to go get a new roll because someone didn't put another roll in, you would be shocked.

If something needs done just do it instead of complaining about how it isn't getting done.

I have an active 4 year old child that is also autistic. Right now the only thing that needs done in this house is the laundry and the dishes. I'm not complaining. I'm the one sitting on my ass doing nothing right now. My husband is walking to the grocery store which takes 30 minutes just to get to. So he's gone at the very least an hour and that's just to get there and back, and not buy anything. My son is upstairs taking a nap for about another hour. In a few minutes I'm going to go do a load of dishes. 

Tonight I'm making hot wings, potato skins for dinner. 

When I lived in a house full of 8 people. I was pretty much the only one doing anything. I had a young child as well. I cleaned the dishes, the kitchen, the living room, the hallway, the stairs, the cat's room, my room, the bathroom. And basically cooked quite a few meals as well. The woman of the house cooked occasionally, and had a paper route. The husband actually worked and had medical issues. The kids didn't do shit. 

I didn't complain. I just did it. I no longer live there, thank the Goddess. Most of our money went to food for the house.


Oh goodness. And I thought I had it bad! We do plan on moving out and in my husband defense, he wasn't complaining. All he did was ask people to put a new roll of toilet paper in the bathroom! But in my FIL's defense, hubby really should start helping out around the house more. He has a bad back so he can't do a lot of heavy lifting but he could do the dishes or cook every once in a while. I just get annoyed when I get yelled out for not helping out when I'm the ONLY one that ever helps out. Terry just doesn't realize how much I help out because a lot of the time he is either napping, on the computer, or gone with one of his friends trying to make a little money. I just HATE cleaning up after people that are perfectly capable of cleaning up after themselves, my hubby included.

*giggles* I know that feeling. *hugs* I had the same thing. Right now my hubby is home with me. In between jobs. He started helping out just this week. It took me forever to get him to understand that going grocery shopping and taking out the trash now isn't the same as when he was gone all the time working. That now that he is helping to make more of the mess around the house he needs to help with cleaning it up.

Since he has started helping with cleaning up and stuff we have been getting along great! Thankfully, also right now it's only him, I, and our 4 year old boy in a two bedroom apartment. 

The house needs picked up too right now, but that will take all of 10 minutes to do the entire house.

I've been addicted to a few things online lately. (my fault) Diablo 3, and here. *giggles*

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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 21, 2013 at 3:48 PM
Why can't you help clean? I have a little one too and I clean, do laundry, wash dishes, sweep...when your baby naps or sleeps or is playing you need to get off your ass and clean. And why don't you have a job? You sound very young and immature. You had a kid and couldn't afford one, I have no sympathy for people like you because you made irresponsible decisions and now you want to complain? You need to move because its not going to get better. And please to on some kind of birth control because you don't need to bring another kid into this messed up situation. Hubby needs to get a second job because I don't know how you can survive on that income.
MamaAjax
by Bronze Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 12:42 AM

Well. I agree more towards your FIL. Also, all the fighting isn't good for your child. 

When I was pregnant and for the first few months after my sons birth I lived with my parents. My SO and I had just split so mom made me a deal if I went to college she'd let me move in for free until I could get up on my feet by myself.

I worked, attended college classes and this was the list expected of me.

  1. Maintain everyone's laundry.
  2. Always have dinner cooked and served by 6pm nightly(I got off of work at 5pm and home by 5:20-5:30pm)
  3. Clean the kitchen nightly.
  4. Do dishes daily (mine or not)
  5. Have coffee prepared for my parents and make sure my mother's and father's lunch boxes were packed every morning.
  6. Sweep and mop the floor weekly
  7. Dust and clean glass weekly
  8. Vacuume weekly
  9. Help with yard work on weekends before and after work (I worked every Saturday and Sunday)
  10. Keep my room, my son's room and our bathroom spotless daily.
  11. Feed the animals and maintain their vet appointments and flea treatments as needed.
  12. Run errands for my parents as needed.
  13. Set appointments for my mother when she needed (she worked killer hours as a nurse.)

Extreme? I didn't think so. 

They paid my rent, electric, water, and internet bill. They were also my babysitters when my son wasn't in daycare. I thought it was very reasonable of them. It's not like they didn't work. When I got sick my mom took care of my son so I could rest. If I had a long night because of homework or because of my son's ear infections my mother let me sleep in without complaint. They took my son with them sometimes so I could get peace and rest up.  

We didn't fight. We didn't argue. It was a wonderful setup. Yeah I had to work my butt off, but what mom doesn't?

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 22, 2013 at 1:26 PM
It doesn't sound like you're OK. And you are wrong, there is abuse in that house. You stated that you told Terry that Frankie needs to be put somewhere before he hurt somebody because he's always going off and throwing things. Also you said Terry gets drunk and starts ranting. Abuse. Your child should not be in that environment.
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