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Kind Of A Vent... Also Need Advice If Any Of You Ladies Feel Like Helping A Momma Out Please

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 21 Replies
Ok, so there are really a couple things bugging me and I'm not sure what to do. Please bare with me... This may get a little long.

Issue one- I've gone back to work full time recently. I like my job and my "brother" is providing cheap child care, so that's good. But other than that, I'm really getting no support. I'm a single mom doing her very best, but my family is basically of the "oh well" attitude. They'll tell me to get rest, but no one wants to help make sure that happens. I'm burning the candle at both ends, and i stay exhausted. Idk what to do.

Issue two- my SO still hasn't told his family about me. Almost four months in and they have no clue he's even dating anyone. He was talking to his father the other night and his dad asked where he'd been the night before. I HEARD him say, with my own ears, that his friend John picked him up and they played video games all night. First off, my name definitely isn't John. Second, we definitely didn't spend all night playing video games. When i confronted him, his excuse was that every time he tells his family he's dating someone, they end up breaking up. Don't get me wrong- forever isn't even a consideration right now... But shouldn't he have just a little more faith in me than that by this point?

Issue three- same SO, different situation. There have been a few times the last few weeks that he's blown me off completely. Two weeks ago, he had to be out of town for a few days. Before he left, we made plans to spend this past weekend together. He gets back and he's made plans to go tubing with his buddies. Oops, he forgot. Ok- i brushed it off. Everyone forgets once in a while. Then, the last couple nights, he's too busy to talk when i get off work. Or we talk for a little while then he needs to go, then he'll text and ask if I'm still up so i text back and say yes. His response is then something like "I'm ready for bed. Goodnight." Idk what to think.

Anyone have any ideas? Please?!
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 23, 2013 at 2:16 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Lovemybaby551
by Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 2:20 AM

Dont really have any advice to give but *hugs* I hope things get better for you

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 23, 2013 at 2:26 AM
Your relationship is still new so he probably doesn't want to say anything until he's sure it will last. 4 months is really not a long time. He doesn't sound like he's into having a fully committed relationship if he's acting that way and not telling people about you. As far as your family they should try To he more supportive. I know it's hard and you're always tired. I have a DH and I'm always tired so I give you props for being a single mom and holding it down. Much love and respect to you mama! See if there are support groups in your area for mommys or set up a play date or have someone watch the baby for a couple of hours while you nap. You need rest and alone time
ff-princess
by Bronze Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 5:37 AM
5 moms liked this

it doesn't sound like he's really into you.  not telling his parents he's even dating, blowing you off, and shortening or not making phone calls is the beginning of a downward spiral to the end.  and how would he have faith in someone who he's only been dating for "almost four months" and the last two weeks have been spent apart?  the fact that he "forgot" about your weekend plans after being away from you for a few days really says how high of a priority you are in his life.

move on and find someone worthy of you.  and do it now before you become more emotionally invested in a relationship that's not going to go anywhere, because it's just going to hurt more the longer you wait. 

Alexsi1
by Alexandra on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:59 AM

Maybe ask your brother if he can keep your kid longer so you can rest? I had that issue with my mom when she watched DS. I work nights and get off work at 8am. She would be calling me by noon to come get him. I ended up getting another babysitter because I just wasn't sleeping enough.

I'm not sure about your SO. He could have a very critical family and thinks they are going to scare you off. 


Christy1919
by Bronze Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 10:05 AM
3 moms liked this

 family does not mean instant babysitters nor are they mind readers.  If you want a specific day for them to watch her call up and say I NEED REST can you watch kiddo for a few hours.  Better yet find another single mommy friend and trade babysitting quiet time.

2...he's not into you he's not into you he's not into you....anyone who can get away with the excuse "I was up all nigh playing video games" and that was plausible to his dad means he is a big time waster and they really don't think highly of him anyways becasue face it what quality grown man plays video games all night.  Your just a piece of ass for him

make this easy for the spineless guy and just tell him later.  If you're that tired as a new mom anyways focus on your child not another babydaddy

luvhugz08
by Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 10:34 AM
1 mom liked this

Sounds like someones balls haven't drooped yet!! He shouldnt lie to his dad...thats a bad sign right off rip!!! 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 23, 2013 at 12:09 PM
First, he works full time monday thru friday. I think he's entitled to do what he wants on the weekends.

Second, yes he is otherwise responsible. He takes good care of his daughter and is a member of our states Guard. Once he comes back from this deployment, which starts in October, he's going full time military. To me, that says alot about his level of responsibility.

Third, my tubes are tied. So this isn't gonna be a "baby daddy" situation.

And last, i don't EXPECT my family to be "instant babysitters". I've raised my kids alone up to this point. I can't even tell you the last time i went somewhere without them. It just frustrates me that they say " get rest" but don't try to help- even when i do say something.

Thanks tho. I'll try the direct route next time.


Quoting Christy1919:

 family does not mean instant babysitters nor are they mind readers.  If you want a specific day for them to watch her call up and say I NEED REST can you watch kiddo for a few hours.  Better yet find another single mommy friend and trade babysitting quiet time.


2...he's not into you he's not into you he's not into you....anyone who can get away with the excuse "I was up all nigh playing video games" and that was plausible to his dad means he is a big time waster and they really don't think highly of him anyways becasue face it what quality grown man plays video games all night.  Your just a piece of ass for him


make this easy for the spineless guy and just tell him later.  If you're that tired as a new mom anyways focus on your child not another babydaddy


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 23, 2013 at 12:09 PM
First, he works full time monday thru friday. I think he's entitled to do what he wants on the weekends.

Second, yes he is otherwise responsible. He takes good care of his daughter and is a member of our states Guard. Once he comes back from this deployment, which starts in October, he's going full time military. To me, that says alot about his level of responsibility.

Third, my tubes are tied. So this isn't gonna be a "baby daddy" situation.

And last, i don't EXPECT my family to be "instant babysitters". I've raised my kids alone up to this point. I can't even tell you the last time i went somewhere without them. It just frustrates me that they say " get rest" but don't try to help- even when i do say something.

Thanks tho. I'll try the direct route next time.


Quoting Christy1919:

 family does not mean instant babysitters nor are they mind readers.  If you want a specific day for them to watch her call up and say I NEED REST can you watch kiddo for a few hours.  Better yet find another single mommy friend and trade babysitting quiet time.


2...he's not into you he's not into you he's not into you....anyone who can get away with the excuse "I was up all nigh playing video games" and that was plausible to his dad means he is a big time waster and they really don't think highly of him anyways becasue face it what quality grown man plays video games all night.  Your just a piece of ass for him


make this easy for the spineless guy and just tell him later.  If you're that tired as a new mom anyways focus on your child not another babydaddy


Christy1919
by Bronze Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 1:26 PM

 you've only dated four months and he can't even utter you name or  elude to you to his family .........he sounds like a totally stand up guy keep him around

the only guys who won't tell their family they are dating are guys who are married or guys who just have fuck buddies. 

unless you call and say can you babysit Friday night from 4-8 for me.... no one wants to voluntarily watch kids

Quoting Anonymous:

First, he works full time monday thru friday. I think he's entitled to do what he wants on the weekends.

Second, yes he is otherwise responsible. He takes good care of his daughter and is a member of our states Guard. Once he comes back from this deployment, which starts in October, he's going full time military. To me, that says alot about his level of responsibility.

Third, my tubes are tied. So this isn't gonna be a "baby daddy" situation.

And last, i don't EXPECT my family to be "instant babysitters". I've raised my kids alone up to this point. I can't even tell you the last time i went somewhere without them. It just frustrates me that they say " get rest" but don't try to help- even when i do say something.

Thanks tho. I'll try the direct route next time.


Quoting Christy1919:

 family does not mean instant babysitters nor are they mind readers.  If you want a specific day for them to watch her call up and say I NEED REST can you watch kiddo for a few hours.  Better yet find another single mommy friend and trade babysitting quiet time.


2...he's not into you he's not into you he's not into you....anyone who can get away with the excuse "I was up all nigh playing video games" and that was plausible to his dad means he is a big time waster and they really don't think highly of him anyways becasue face it what quality grown man plays video games all night.  Your just a piece of ass for him


make this easy for the spineless guy and just tell him later.  If you're that tired as a new mom anyways focus on your child not another babydaddy


 

misymac
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 1:36 PM
2 moms liked this

He is using you.. RUN FAR AWAY from him.. you already caught him lying, so you know damn well he is lying to you too..

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