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Preschool venting

Posted by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 9:51 AM
  • 8 Replies

I am fostering a 3-year old special needs boy. He goes to a special services preschool 3 days a week. He just transitioned to my home about 3 weeks ago and has some separation anxiety because of his background. Basically, he never had a stable home because he was constantly being passed around to family members and friends until he got to his first placement. He was there for about 7 months until the decision was made to terminate the parents rights. He came to my home because we want to adopt. Because of his never having a permanent home (until now hopefully!) I have always let him bring a small toy or lovey with him when we are traveling.

There's the background. So, I get him into this preschool. He gets to ride a bus there, and the bus driver keeps making up these rules about what he's allowed to bring. First he couldn't have anything with wheels. Okay, I get it - there's a safety concernif it drops and rolls round. So I let him choose a lovey to take.

This morning, the bus pulls up. He has his little stuffed bear and is about to get on the bus when the bus driver informs me that the toys are becomming a problem, especially at school, and he can't bring them any more. So I have to abrupty take away his toy and get him on the bus. At least they get to listen to him crying and I don't have to have that heart-break.

I don't mind the new rule, especially if it is a real problem. I really don't like not being contacted by the teacher in advance about this. We can definitely work on not bringing things from home, but that takes time. I would have at least liked a chance to talk to him about it and explain that the bear will be here when he gets home, etc.

I don't see how this is becomming a problem anyway. He just carries it around at home, like most kids do. When I went to visit the preschool, another child had a small doll as well, so I don't understand why my kiddo is being targeted here. Obviously, he could be acting differently at school than at home with it, but again, why was I not contacted about this. They have all of my information, so there really isn't an excuse why they couldn't have given me a heads up. 

Thanks for letting me vent. :)

by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 9:51 AM
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Replies (1-8):
by Bronze Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:34 AM

So call and ask the school.

by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 11:14 AM
I don't see how a small stuffed animal or toy is a problem. I'd go to the school and have a talk with the teacher about all he's going through. Maybe his stuffed animal can be kept in his backpack while he's in class or something like that.
The bus driver seems rude. I'd talk to the school about her.
by Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 11:35 AM

I would go talk to the teacher

by Gold Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 11:56 AM
Check it out with the teacher, there may be other things you should know or that they should know.
by New Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 1:26 PM

I'm definitely planning to talk with the teacher. I've left her a voicemail, so I'm hoping she gets back with me today. 

The bus driver isn't really rude, it's just that I felt this was sprung on me out of no where. I get no newletters or any form of communication from this teacher and it really bothers me that I don't know what is going on for those 4 hours that he is gone. This is also my very first foster/adoptive child, so I'm in some sort of crazy-mother-hen sort of mode. :) 

by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 1:30 PM

Is it possbile for you to start dropping off or picking up from school for a little while.  Then you'll be able to get a better grasp of how things are going at school. 

by New Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 2:01 PM


The teacher got back to me today and said that toys were not a problem at all in the classroom and that he's participating with activities, following directions, etc. So, the bus driver completely lied to me. 

This morning when he got on the bus, he was having a tantrum because he couldn't take Baby. We talked about it. I gave him lots of reminders that we weren't going to take anything on the bus today. We put Baby in a chair close by the door to wait for him to come home, but when the bus pulled up and he couldn't take her, it was tantrum time.

I just let him get on the bus screaming because there's no way to console this boy. Holding him and hugging him generally just makes it worse and he just has to calm himself down. I knew they were in for a good 10 minutes of screaming. When the bus driver dropped him off this afternoon, suddenly a small toy is not a problem. Sounds like she figured out what I tried to tell her in the first place.  

by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 25, 2013 at 2:05 PM

you should write to the bus company and complain about the drivers' behavior

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