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I'm getting depressed and I'm on the verge of tears. UPDATE in Purple

Posted by on May. 5, 2013 at 5:30 AM
  • 22 Replies

My mama always said when it rains it pours... and it's been raining and pouring both figuratively and literally.

Sorry another one of my long rants.

So things in my life have been seemingly on a devastating collision course and finally impacted together .

In one corner we have my wonderful trashy ex of 8 years. Who's trying his damnedest to make my life hell. Which I dunno why. Not like I've freaking been in contact with him at all in the last 8 years. Oh yeah I contacted him 7 months ago when I found out the affidavit he signed allowing me full rights was null n void because I didn't list him on the birth cert and NOW we have to prove it by DNA so I can prove I'm not running away with some mans unknown child. So my ex who's all admitting he doesn't want to be a father is refusing to do the DNA test cause now he's of the mind the child's not his anyways. Okay so if your so sure I'm this cheating whore you want to make me out to be then take the damn DNA test and prove that I am... oh wait yeah the reason you're refusing... cause you know what the damn test is going to show and then the whole lie you've built around yourself so your family and friends wouldn't call you a dead  beat dad would come crashing down.

Well he's now in my local county jail for assault and battery charges and possession of controlled substances without Rx. Well there goes his excuse for not showing up to the court hearing. I guess I should be counting that as a blessing.

However until this mess is worked out my husband can't adopt my son like he wants to. Like I want him to. Like my son wants him to. Thanks sperm donor... you just won man of the year award *gags*


The in another corner we have school. My school, husbands school, my son's school. School is cause my brain cells to die slow and painful suicidal deaths atm.

My school issue. Transferring freaking sucks. They're taking so long to inform me of papers need to be submitted for my transfer. Each week I get a notice of 1 or 2 documents that they need. I submit them and bam a week later I'm getting a call for more documents. I submitted my transfer back in March. It's now May and summer registration is open... and who can't register cause of missing documents... me!

My husbands school issue. We're paying out of pocket with minimal help from private student loans. His dear old dad promised to pay and now is backing out because sonny boy isn't attending the college that's only a few miles from his dads home. Nope dear darling son chose to go to one of the best darn schools in the state at the same damn cost as the other. Except this one has nearly a 70% higher success rate of transferring into U.F. which happens to hold one of the top 50 schools in the nation raking. And might I add has a damn good Medical School, which is what my husband is aiming for. However financial aid has denied him because up until March my husband was listed as a dependent of his parents because his income was to low to be considered Independent. So he had to file his parents information and was denied financial aid.  He'll get the aid next semester because it's considered Fall 2013-2014 and our marriage is then considered valid for independent status.

My son's school. He hates school. He gets physically ill to the point his pediatrician says keep him home. And then poof once he gets the a-okay to stay home he's suddenly better. He's failing miserably in Reading and English. Yet he finds the Math to easy and boring. Complains that the Science isn't challenging enough. He doesn't get to play centers or recess a lot because the teacher has him finishing up his Reading and English class assignments. He's begging to be home schooled. We found a program that really matches our needs, but it's $1,400 per a school year on top of the $950 yearly fee for the O2B Kids program he's in (which he'd need even in home school so I could attend my classes). Well it hurts to think about that much money.


The in the next corner we have the financial issue. My husband had 3 jobs. Dude to moving to a new city for school he's down to two. We're down to about $900 a month. We're not on PA, however I keep feeling the ever growing pressure to cave and say screw it and freaking apply. Right now my pantry is bare necessities. Yes we have food, but I'm stretching it further and further now days. Basically the job my husband lost, was our income for food. I'm trying to find a part time job to supplement the loss until we can figure things out. Even against my psych doctors orders. I'm not suppose to be working as long as I'm attending school. I know damn well that between juggling school, a household, a kid, and work my risk for a nervous breakdown is increase 10 fold. Not to mention my health issues, go Lupus! yay -.-;;;

We're living in two different cities. My lease is up at the end of this month. We have about $2,100 saved up to move. However I fear it isn't nearly enough. Setting up an apartment isn't cheap. 1st months rent + deposit + electric deposit + water deposit + the cost of move truck over 50miles. The "restricted income" apartments (which are not Public Housing) refuse to take us. They won't accept a household that consists of full time students. My options to qualify... to drop down to part-time student and lose all the Financial aid I receive for school which would cause me to stop going to school cause we can't afford both husband and my tuition or stop going to school. Great options I have there!

My husband has taken a week off from work to help his mother move back to Nepal. Which I can't say anything about even though we can't afford the week of no pay.


And in the final corner. My son has been diagnosed with Peanut allergies on top of his Red Dye 40 and Tomato allergies. I had to pay $196 just for 2 EpiPens (was $306 before insurance coverage, we need better insurance, but its all we can afford for the family). Thank you parents for helping me out. And lo and behold I've been tested positive (yay x-rays) for osteoarthritis, so apparently the consistent swelling and pain in my joints isn't the lupus. The weather's been so freaking crappy that I can't even sleep because of the pain. 


I don't know how much longer I can keep holding things together like this. Any advice would be welcome.


Thank you ladies for both your suggestions and words of encouragement! I really do appreciate it. Normally I'm all Mrs. Logical Neutral and Upbeat; but between the family drama (both mine and the In-Laws), the medical diagnoses (mainly having to break it to my son, there is yet more limitations on what he can eat), the foul weather, the pain of my condition, and sleep deprivation. This past week really took it's toll on me.

1.) I have applied for F.S. we're waiting to hear back. Hopefully this will lessen the strain of trying to juggle what little cash we do have.

I did not apply for Medicaid though I did ask about the program. My husband and I discussed it and though it would cover my son and I, his insurance raise (because we'd lose the family discount) would almost negate the savings except in the areas of prescriptions because well I have a handful of them. However I'm not willing to switch my doctors as of this moment in time because they've been working with me for so long. I fear the medicaid route may and well decrease my immediate resources to the types of doctors that I have. 

2.) Moving schools isn't really a problem solver for us. The school my son is in, I have no complaints, the teachers are wonderful, the staff is nice. I'm working with an entire team on my son's reading and writing issues. He loves his teachers and he has no issues with bullies. However it's just to the point where it's beyond obvious the traditional route will not work with him.

I have discussed with my parents the possibilty of them helping with his tuition and us paying them back.

3.) I have yet to tackle the housing... -.-;;; I need to...

Mama Ajax @ Blogger

Just a little bit my life experiences.

by on May. 5, 2013 at 5:30 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on May. 5, 2013 at 5:35 AM

I am sorry...can you ask another of his family members to do the DNA test or does it have to be the dad? 

MamaAjax
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2013 at 9:55 AM


Has to be dad.

Quoting Anonymous:

I am sorry...can you ask another of his family members to do the DNA test or does it have to be the dad? 



Mama Ajax @ Blogger

Just a little bit my life experiences.

MamaAjax
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2013 at 10:03 AM

BUMP!

psych_mom
by on May. 5, 2013 at 12:48 PM

First off, you are eligible for FA as long as you go to school part-time or more. My husband gets his pell grant and he only goes part time. If you drop below part-time, you lose your FA. Also, is there any reason your DH went with private instead of government loans? Often times the repayment of government loans are more flexible than private loans and if he is going to medical school you don't want him to have to start paying loans back while still in school.

Your son's homeschooling program- have you spoke to them about any programs that may help pay? They might be able to put you in touch with resources.

As for moving, do everything that you guys can possibly do yourself. I know it isn't fun, but it is probably going to be the cheapest.

Good luck with everything.

psych_mom
by on May. 5, 2013 at 12:49 PM

Also, if dad is in jail, is it in the same city that the court date is in? And if they order a DNA test, if he is in jail, it may be easier to get it.

misymac
by on May. 5, 2013 at 2:02 PM
1 mom liked this

Bite the bullet and apply for food n housing  n medical assistance from the gov.. Regardless of what some have to say about it, there is no shame in it when you are in need.. medical asst alone is worth it.. Most gov programs have a waiting list.. check out your local pantry's for help with food.. such as salvation army..

I t sounds like the move your sone will be in a new school too.. Hope they have a program that will fit him.. Good luck hon..

MamaAjax
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2013 at 2:10 PM


It depends on the school. The one I am transfering to stops aid if you fall below 12 credit hours. I know some schools like my past one that allows for part time but the lower you grant award for it. Which was fine by me.

My husband got the private instead of the Pell because they disqualified him. We were married in 2013 since he's in the spring and summer semesters they count as the 2011 tax year because it's 2012 school year. Fall is the 2013 and he's been approved for FAFSA during that semeseter. It's just this semester and the past one was based off of his father's income cause he wasn't considered "independent" for the 2011-2012 tax year.

We're looking into scholarships but it depends on the program and what it's willing to accept. So I'm doing reseach on that now.

Quoting psych_mom:

First off, you are eligible for FA as long as you go to school part-time or more. My husband gets his pell grant and he only goes part time. If you drop below part-time, you lose your FA. Also, is there any reason your DH went with private instead of government loans? Often times the repayment of government loans are more flexible than private loans and if he is going to medical school you don't want him to have to start paying loans back while still in school.

Your son's homeschooling program- have you spoke to them about any programs that may help pay? They might be able to put you in touch with resources.

As for moving, do everything that you guys can possibly do yourself. I know it isn't fun, but it is probably going to be the cheapest.

Good luck with everything.



Mama Ajax @ Blogger

Just a little bit my life experiences.

psych_mom
by on May. 5, 2013 at 2:15 PM

With Federal Aid the government sets the regulations and the schools are not suppose to change them. The government regulates that any student that is working on 6 or more credit hours a semester is eligible for federal aid. The schools cannot pick and choose what to keep and throw out when it comes to federal aid. When you first enroll in college you have to do FA entrance counseling and it goes over the federal government rules for all federal aid. I am graduating next week with my Bachelor's in Psych and my school stresses the federal guidelines every year.

Quoting MamaAjax:


It depends on the school. The one I am transfering to stops aid if you fall below 12 credit hours. I know some schools like my past one that allows for part time but the lower you grant award for it. Which was fine by me.

My husband got the private instead of the Pell because they disqualified him. We were married in 2013 since he's in the spring and summer semesters they count as the 2011 tax year because it's 2012 school year. Fall is the 2013 and he's been approved for FAFSA during that semeseter. It's just this semester and the past one was based off of his father's income cause he wasn't considered "independent" for the 2011-2012 tax year.

We're looking into scholarships but it depends on the program and what it's willing to accept. So I'm doing reseach on that now.

Quoting psych_mom:

First off, you are eligible for FA as long as you go to school part-time or more. My husband gets his pell grant and he only goes part time. If you drop below part-time, you lose your FA. Also, is there any reason your DH went with private instead of government loans? Often times the repayment of government loans are more flexible than private loans and if he is going to medical school you don't want him to have to start paying loans back while still in school.

Your son's homeschooling program- have you spoke to them about any programs that may help pay? They might be able to put you in touch with resources.

As for moving, do everything that you guys can possibly do yourself. I know it isn't fun, but it is probably going to be the cheapest.

Good luck with everything.




catrig
by Silver Member on May. 5, 2013 at 2:27 PM

That would be frustrating.  Hope everything goes well with school.

MamaAjax
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2013 at 2:34 PM

Yeah I choked and looked into it this past week.

As for medical I'm not worried, that part isn't so much the cost as I'm tired of the illnesses right about now. Two crippling diagnosis this week was a hard blow especially when one was for my son. I'm happy that we found out through his blood work and not through an reaction to peanuts but still it's so scary to think of the "what if's"

They'll accept me and my son for insurance, but not my husband because he's not my son's biological father. And we pay the insurance in one lump sum at the beginning of each year. I normally don't have to pay much cost outside of that are co-payments are low and we have a discount plan for things like lab work and all. With me having the medical issues I do have I worry about going the whole medicaid route. Limiting a lot of specialists that I need is kind of scary and none of my current doctors who have been seeing me for the last 4 years would be able to continue seeing me cause none of them are under the Medicaid umbrella. 

As for public housing this is the huge clincher: I caved. The housing I pay for is great, but it's through a friend of the family basically. I rent a 3bed/2bath house on the lake for $500. It's in a wonderful area. Call me spoiled I've just been use to always wheeling and dealing down prices.

"Income Restricted" housing won't accept us unless I drop going to school or become part time.

HUD and Section 8 well the areas are scary to say the least. But aside from that. The quickest time frame I have found is 1 apartment only has available waiting list 4-6months now. The voucher program is closed and has been for the last 2 years. I've found a couple of houses in semi good areas that are 2bed/1bath for rent ones $400 and it's not any sort of PH. The apartments are the kicker. I was hoping for an apartment because they take less care than a house.

I did put in an application for F.S. today and the 1-800 lady said mostly likely we'll be accepted under the "express need" filing.

I volunteer for the Salvation Army, and am going to miss everyone drastically when we move. I haven't hit up their food pantry cause we're no were in that desperate of need. I do love their "want not waste not" program and haven't bought bread for my family in nearly two years.

Mainly my issue is surviving until August. We do have savings (which we've been told to pull it from our bank accounts because it will count against us when applying for aid, and aparently my car is counting against us too.)

Quoting misymac:

Bite the bullet and apply for food n housing  n medical assistance from the gov.. Regardless of what some have to say about it, there is no shame in it when you are in need.. medical asst alone is worth it.. Most gov programs have a waiting list.. check out your local pantry's for help with food.. such as salvation army..

I t sounds like the move your sone will be in a new school too.. Hope they have a program that will fit him.. Good luck hon..



Mama Ajax @ Blogger

Just a little bit my life experiences.

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