I'm getting depressed and I'm on the verge of tears. UPDATE in Purple
My mama always said when it rains it pours... and it's been raining and pouring both figuratively and literally.
Sorry another one of my long rants.
So things in my life have been seemingly on a devastating collision course and finally impacted together .
In one corner we have my wonderful trashy ex of 8 years. Who's trying his damnedest to make my life hell. Which I dunno why. Not like I've freaking been in contact with him at all in the last 8 years. Oh yeah I contacted him 7 months ago when I found out the affidavit he signed allowing me full rights was null n void because I didn't list him on the birth cert and NOW we have to prove it by DNA so I can prove I'm not running away with some mans unknown child. So my ex who's all admitting he doesn't want to be a father is refusing to do the DNA test cause now he's of the mind the child's not his anyways. Okay so if your so sure I'm this cheating whore you want to make me out to be then take the damn DNA test and prove that I am... oh wait yeah the reason you're refusing... cause you know what the damn test is going to show and then the whole lie you've built around yourself so your family and friends wouldn't call you a dead beat dad would come crashing down.
Well he's now in my local county jail for assault and battery charges and possession of controlled substances without Rx. Well there goes his excuse for not showing up to the court hearing. I guess I should be counting that as a blessing.
However until this mess is worked out my husband can't adopt my son like he wants to. Like I want him to. Like my son wants him to. Thanks sperm donor... you just won man of the year award *gags*
The in another corner we have school. My school, husbands school, my son's school. School is cause my brain cells to die slow and painful suicidal deaths atm.
My school issue. Transferring freaking sucks. They're taking so long to inform me of papers need to be submitted for my transfer. Each week I get a notice of 1 or 2 documents that they need. I submit them and bam a week later I'm getting a call for more documents. I submitted my transfer back in March. It's now May and summer registration is open... and who can't register cause of missing documents... me!
My husbands school issue. We're paying out of pocket with minimal help from private student loans. His dear old dad promised to pay and now is backing out because sonny boy isn't attending the college that's only a few miles from his dads home. Nope dear darling son chose to go to one of the best darn schools in the state at the same damn cost as the other. Except this one has nearly a 70% higher success rate of transferring into U.F. which happens to hold one of the top 50 schools in the nation raking. And might I add has a damn good Medical School, which is what my husband is aiming for. However financial aid has denied him because up until March my husband was listed as a dependent of his parents because his income was to low to be considered Independent. So he had to file his parents information and was denied financial aid. He'll get the aid next semester because it's considered Fall 2013-2014 and our marriage is then considered valid for independent status.
My son's school. He hates school. He gets physically ill to the point his pediatrician says keep him home. And then poof once he gets the a-okay to stay home he's suddenly better. He's failing miserably in Reading and English. Yet he finds the Math to easy and boring. Complains that the Science isn't challenging enough. He doesn't get to play centers or recess a lot because the teacher has him finishing up his Reading and English class assignments. He's begging to be home schooled. We found a program that really matches our needs, but it's $1,400 per a school year on top of the $950 yearly fee for the O2B Kids program he's in (which he'd need even in home school so I could attend my classes). Well it hurts to think about that much money.
The in the next corner we have the financial issue. My husband had 3 jobs. Dude to moving to a new city for school he's down to two. We're down to about $900 a month. We're not on PA, however I keep feeling the ever growing pressure to cave and say screw it and freaking apply. Right now my pantry is bare necessities. Yes we have food, but I'm stretching it further and further now days. Basically the job my husband lost, was our income for food. I'm trying to find a part time job to supplement the loss until we can figure things out. Even against my psych doctors orders. I'm not suppose to be working as long as I'm attending school. I know damn well that between juggling school, a household, a kid, and work my risk for a nervous breakdown is increase 10 fold. Not to mention my health issues, go Lupus! yay -.-;;;
We're living in two different cities. My lease is up at the end of this month. We have about $2,100 saved up to move. However I fear it isn't nearly enough. Setting up an apartment isn't cheap. 1st months rent + deposit + electric deposit + water deposit + the cost of move truck over 50miles. The "restricted income" apartments (which are not Public Housing) refuse to take us. They won't accept a household that consists of full time students. My options to qualify... to drop down to part-time student and lose all the Financial aid I receive for school which would cause me to stop going to school cause we can't afford both husband and my tuition or stop going to school. Great options I have there!
My husband has taken a week off from work to help his mother move back to Nepal. Which I can't say anything about even though we can't afford the week of no pay.
And in the final corner. My son has been diagnosed with Peanut allergies on top of his Red Dye 40 and Tomato allergies. I had to pay $196 just for 2 EpiPens (was $306 before insurance coverage, we need better insurance, but its all we can afford for the family). Thank you parents for helping me out. And lo and behold I've been tested positive (yay x-rays) for osteoarthritis, so apparently the consistent swelling and pain in my joints isn't the lupus. The weather's been so freaking crappy that I can't even sleep because of the pain.
I don't know how much longer I can keep holding things together like this. Any advice would be welcome.
Thank you ladies for both your suggestions and words of encouragement! I really do appreciate it. Normally I'm all Mrs. Logical Neutral and Upbeat; but between the family drama (both mine and the In-Laws), the medical diagnoses (mainly having to break it to my son, there is yet more limitations on what he can eat), the foul weather, the pain of my condition, and sleep deprivation. This past week really took it's toll on me.
1.) I have applied for F.S. we're waiting to hear back. Hopefully this will lessen the strain of trying to juggle what little cash we do have.
I did not apply for Medicaid though I did ask about the program. My husband and I discussed it and though it would cover my son and I, his insurance raise (because we'd lose the family discount) would almost negate the savings except in the areas of prescriptions because well I have a handful of them. However I'm not willing to switch my doctors as of this moment in time because they've been working with me for so long. I fear the medicaid route may and well decrease my immediate resources to the types of doctors that I have.
2.) Moving schools isn't really a problem solver for us. The school my son is in, I have no complaints, the teachers are wonderful, the staff is nice. I'm working with an entire team on my son's reading and writing issues. He loves his teachers and he has no issues with bullies. However it's just to the point where it's beyond obvious the traditional route will not work with him.
I have discussed with my parents the possibilty of them helping with his tuition and us paying them back.
3.) I have yet to tackle the housing... -.-;;; I need to...
Just a little bit my life experiences.