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No wonder a lot of people don't believe it when a parent says their kid has special needs

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I have a kid with special needs.  Sensory processing disorder, anxiety, and likely autism but they can't make up their minds.  So I'm part of this sensory processing group on facebook.  Some of the moms on there are crazy!

"My 1 month old is undiagnosed but I'm sure she has SPD.  She is a seeker and will only sleep swaddled while I hold her."  Ummm... it's called a newborn!

"My 3 year old is undiagnosed but I know he has SPD.  He's always on the go!"  Yes, that's a preschooler.

And the real kicker...

"How do I go about getting my baby diagnosed with and therapy for SPD?  I know he has it.  He's due in 2 months and is always moving.  Anytime they do an ultrasound his hands are over his ears.  I've never had to deal with special needs before.  Help!"

Now I can look back and say my son had signs as a young baby.  He did not like being held close or swaddled, he wanted his space.  He would SCREAM if he heard the sound of Elmo's voice.  He was always very cautious and would not do physical things until he knew he could do it without falling (like walking he walked across the room and fell so he didn't try again for months).  But I never even considered getting him a diagnosis at such a young age much less before he was ever born!

Posted by Anonymous on May. 5, 2013 at 1:27 PM
Replies (31-38):
lhunsicker
by New Member on May. 7, 2013 at 8:18 AM

My oldest has a disorder. But he is in so many places on the scales all at once that they cant put a label on him. HE looks like a normal child. Untill you spend time with him and trully get to know him. Took me many years to find anything out. NOT THAT I WANT A LABEL!!!! But some form of help would be great. 

EarlGrayHot
by on May. 7, 2013 at 8:49 AM

THe lady who thought her unborn child had SPD takes the cake!  You're right-there are some crazies there.  But, I might add that he's not the only one who screams when he hears Elmo.

Mandallyn
by on May. 7, 2013 at 8:59 AM

A predisposition for depression certainly seems to run in my family.  My experiences as a child brought it on a lot earlier than I would hope in any child.  I thought a lot of the same things as your son, but without the anxiety.  My 4 yr old hasn't said anything like that, and I'm hopeful I can help him cope with his own thoughts and feelings without exacerbating any kind of mental illness.  He goes into these fits where he has trouble regulating his own behavior and feelings.  Even after he gets control and stops crying the smallest event can trigger another massive fit.  He can be like that for days on end, sometimes he even wakes up that way. I have no idea how to help him cope.  :(  And every time it leaves me absolutely drained and on edge.  He takes so much out of me it sometimes feels like it takes away from my older son because of how stressed I get.  I need help so that I can reach him without wearing myself out.  It feels like I can't do that without a diagnosis...

Quoting MamaAjax:


If you think somethings up. I'd go with the doctors appointment and take it with a very large "grain of salt". Just because they say it doesn't make it valid.

My mom took me to several different doctors until they pegged me. Same with my brother. Took her nearly 16 years but she finally pegged him with the appropriate diagnosis too.

As the mama, your job is research research research.


My son's been labeled with General Anxiety because he has nervous break downs over things. Like FCAT testing... the second someone mentions to him the words "FCAT Worksheet" He begins crying like no tomorrow at the fear we're going to make him do it, even if we're just talking about the grade on it.

The school psychologist proclaimed she's never seen a kid in his age group worry about grades like he does

Took him 3 days to come to terms he has a peanut allergy and he'll randomly bust out crying about it still (We learned this last Wednesday)

I hear from him all the time like "I'm stupid" "I can't do this" "I wish I wasn't born." starting from the age of 5 and it's like O.o Where did you ever hear these words from cause it sure as hell wasn't from home.

Granted before I swallow any diagnosis, I'm taking him out of public school (cause that's when all of this began) I'm also not writing it off. 

Some mental illnesses are hereditary and if your family has it (Like mine does, or maybe not as bad as mine cause it runs rampant) then you have about a rather alarming high chance of passing it on. Or god forbid both parents managed to come from families with many cases of mental illness (like my son). And I'm talking the really known hereditary ones Alzheimer's, schizophrenia or autism

I'm schizoaffective... my 2nd eldest aunt has full blow schizophrenia. She doesn't have any children because of the risk of passing it on. What we didn't realize was all her siblings (i.e. my mother) were also at risk of passing it on.(apparently a 10% predisposed chance)

Anxiety, substance abuse, personality disorders and depression are other mental disorders which have genetic links. However, these disorders may exist in one's family it does not indicate an individual will inherit them, it means that individual has the likelihood or a susceptibility of having the disorder. Cultural, behavioral and overall lifestyle habits are factors to consider for mental disorders. (Which is half of what I believe about bi-polar)

And yes, your mother is also right. My family always said "there's a fine line between genius and insane." I mean if you really look at it, what "gifted" scientist worked within societys' norm? A lot of Autistic children that I've worked with in the past have always been extremely advanced in one area or another. Like one 4 year old I worked with would love to sit in my lap and read me Eragon (it was the book I was reading at the time) with no help at all. Granted we still couldn't get him to potty train fully. (My lap got peed on a few times too)
Quoting Mandallyn:

One of my children would be considered having add/adhd, but he's homeschooled and learning to focus without a doctor's involvement. I don't want a diagnosis that he could learn to overcome following him around.
My middle son drives me nuts, and his maturity seems delayed but, he's only 4. I have no idea if his behavior is his age or something abnormal. :(

He's seen the Dr, I need to make his appt with the specialist but I'm so torn for the very reason you stated. It's like the newest trend and I can't decide if I should go through with the visit or, wait and see. In comparison with my oldest (who seems to have mild ocd) he's not as bad off, but I need more help with him. My mother says to be careful and that he's possibly gifted, but there's is no definitive definition of what gifted is. So I'm stuck in indecisive land because of this new trend. :oP




Bethsunshine
by on May. 7, 2013 at 9:01 AM
Even better are all of the experts on Cafemom who can diagnose over the internet.
MamaAjax
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2013 at 9:11 AM


I've actually never sen this on CM, but then again, I'm still fairly new and I guess it also depends on the groups.

Quoting Bethsunshine:

Even better are all of the experts on Cafemom who can diagnose over the internet.



Mama Ajax @ Blogger

Just a little bit my life experiences.

MamaAjax
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2013 at 9:32 AM
1 mom liked this

Oh goodness mama, well keep your head up.

With my little one we started meditation early on (mainly cause I always did it and he was interested) I also got him to do "breath" exercises when he was around 2 because of the fear of possible anger issues (learned from me) so we started with "mommy needs a time out" and "let's breath together" now when ever I say "breath" in a stern voice he does it.

He is also super competitive, so I use the "quite mouse" game to get silence for a little bit. The longest he's gone is about 7 minutes, but hey I'm not knocking the 7 minutes of utter silence. We also do "whisper weeks" where randomly about once every three months I demand that the whole house must be at "library volume" and if he goes the whole week doing it (with of course an allowance of a few minor slip ups, as we all have them adults and kids alike.) we do a big family reward. My husband actually managed to benefit from this more than anything. He was a screamer -.-;;;

Basically I just use what seems to fit him the best. So I'm almost certain that these probably won't work for you.

Maybe try some sites like Empowering Parents: How to handle temper tantrums. or one like WebMD Childhood Fears and Anxieties

either one might be good an getting some ideas on how to work with your littlest one until you see the specialist. And maybe use some techniques on yourself to refresh and energize. I'm a huge fan of meditation.



Quoting Mandallyn:

A predisposition for depression certainly seems to run in my family.  My experiences as a child brought it on a lot earlier than I would hope in any child.  I thought a lot of the same things as your son, but without the anxiety.  My 4 yr old hasn't said anything like that, and I'm hopeful I can help him cope with his own thoughts and feelings without exacerbating any kind of mental illness.  He goes into these fits where he has trouble regulating his own behavior and feelings.  Even after he gets control and stops crying the smallest event can trigger another massive fit.  He can be like that for days on end, sometimes he even wakes up that way. I have no idea how to help him cope.  :(  And every time it leaves me absolutely drained and on edge.  He takes so much out of me it sometimes feels like it takes away from my older son because of how stressed I get.  I need help so that I can reach him without wearing myself out.  It feels like I can't do that without a diagnosis...

Quoting MamaAjax:

Quoting Mandallyn:




Mama Ajax @ Blogger

Just a little bit my life experiences.

Maevelyn
by Member on May. 7, 2013 at 9:38 AM

I fetus? Some one tried to get a fetus diagnosed? Really? I know that it's common to be able to look back at videos of children with autism or SPD and see signs but that's because hind sight is 20/20, you know that the child has the disorder, you know how the disorder is expressed in your child and you can see it. For the record my dd was terrified of Elmo, he made her cry and she doesn't have SPD or Autism (although I think she may have some anxiety issues.) There's a chance that Elmo is just disturbing. 

LadySaphira
by Member on May. 7, 2013 at 9:41 AM

This one actualy made me LOL:

"How do I go about getting my baby diagnosed with and therapy for SPD?  I know he has it.  He's due in 2 months and is always moving.  Anytime they do an ultrasound his hands are over his ears.  I've never had to deal with special needs before.  Help!"

some people just want to in on the "ew" thing I think

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