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The Venting Booth The Venting Booth

dh wont help or spend time with me or kids

Posted by on May. 8, 2013 at 3:56 PM
  • 7 Replies
1 mom liked this

we've been married for 3.5 years and he doesnt seem to want to spend time with me or our two kids who are 3 and 1. he works full time, i stay home with kids. when hes not working he is out with friends or here and doing his own thing (sleeping, working on car, sitting on computer). i dont have my drivers license and cant leave the house. yet he goes anywhere he wants, anytime, and stays out as long as he wants (til 3am if he wants). me and the kids are always together, they are never with him so i never get a break. so i am stuck babysitting whenever he wants to get out of the house (which is all the time). i am currently learning to drive (sort of). he has taken me driving twice since we got a van 4 months ago. but i still feel like he is not doing anything to make me happy. whenver i complain about how he treats me, he starts blaming little things on me. i am ALWAYS with the kids and it drives me crazy. they go crazy too because they dont get out of the house. we go outside to play and sometimes walk to a neighbors house or the store up the street but we never do anything fun. i feel like a lot of our time is spent waiting on "daddy come home." not to mention i do everything around the house and for the kids. the most he will do is put a movie on so the kids will leave him alone. he cant even watch them while i make dinner so here i am trying to cook and the kids come in the kitchen screaming and needing things and attention and he is sitting at the desk on the computer ignoring them. i just want him to put more effort into making me a happier wife. theres only so much i can do to keep us sane. he needs to care more.

by on May. 8, 2013 at 3:56 PM
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Replies (1-7):
jenC1978
by on May. 8, 2013 at 3:59 PM

You def. need to learn how to drive and become more independent bec. right now you are stuck.  It sounds like your husband has no interest in being married or being a father.  You need to figure out if you want to live your life like this.  If not, you need to start becoming more independent.  Maybe you can get a job, put the kids in daycare and make some of your own money so if the time comes when you marriage is getting worse, you have the resources to get out. 

candy23
by Member on May. 8, 2013 at 4:03 PM

i know. and it almost makes me mad when people tell me i need to learn to drive, like i can just go out and practice driving on my own.

jenC1978
by on May. 8, 2013 at 4:42 PM

 Just keep practicing with your husband for now.  You never want to be dependent on a guy or you will be stuck forever.


Quoting candy23:

i know. and it almost makes me mad when people tell me i need to learn to drive, like i can just go out and practice driving on my own.


 

EvaTheDiva29
by Member on May. 9, 2013 at 8:56 AM

neither does my dh. im leaving him. 

teo nights ago i had enough of being the only one to do anything with and for these kids, i walked in the house, and told dh i was leaving. it is his turn. and i'll be back when you see my car in the driveway, and do not cal me. figure it the fuck out. and left. i got my hair and nails done. lmfao

summer is coming, and he has weeks of paid vacation racked up. if he ignores me and these kids, im gone. and he knows it. time will tell. 

lucci5
by New Member on May. 9, 2013 at 10:50 AM

Continue to learn to drive and become more independent. I went through as well for years. I knew  how to drive but didnt have a car. Ilived in the city so it wasnt hard to get around. Sit him down and tell him how you are feeling. dont hold back anything. If that doesnt work you have to start creating a life for yourself and children that does not involve him so much. For me, I eventually left him. Started working fulltime, found an apartment, packed all our stuff up and moved. And he still dont visit or call his sons.

Anyway, hang in there, enjoy your children. They grow up so fast. Learn to drive, find childcare, start working and DO YOU.

 

mysticalmalissa
by Silver Member on May. 9, 2013 at 11:17 AM

Play this song for him...

ACDC_fan
by Member on May. 9, 2013 at 6:04 PM


YES!!!! I need to learn, too, and despise it when people say things like "OMG...you DO know you need to learn, right?!?!" NO,that has NEVER crossed my mind. ugh.

My DH refuses to drive with me. He says he doesn't have the patience and, well, guess what- I NEED someone to literally, physically take me out driving. That is how I will learn. 
Then he told me he still wouldn't be super comfortable with me driving him anywhere. woohoo.

his advice is to ask his almost 70 yr. old mother to take me out driving. I love her to DEATH, but I do NOT want my MIL teaching me to drive. I would be terrified with her in the car!!! 

Quoting candy23:

i know. and it almost makes me mad when people tell me i need to learn to drive, like i can just go out and practice driving on my own.



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