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I feel so bad for my SD sometimes!

Posted by on May. 24, 2013 at 2:11 PM
  • 13 Replies

So I definitely have to vent this. It's a 2 parter. Sorry for how long it is.

I have a 6 yr old SD. My DH and I have a 2-2-5 schedule. 

We picked up the kiddo from school Wednesday and she looked like a zombie. She was dead tired, and just all around irritable. 

Somehow we started talking about why she was so tired, and she said that she was up until 11pm the night prior.  So her normal bedtime while she is with us on a school night is 8pm, so of course we inquired more.

(For small bit of background. BM lives at home with her step-dad and mother most of the time.) So we ask where her grandparents were, and SD states that they were in bed. We ask what she was doing staying up so late and she states: "Watching stuff on the iPad". Okay. So then we ask where BM was. And SD states that she was locked in her bedroom with a her friend (aka: the new boyfriend). SD stated that ‘they forgot about me after they went into the bedroom and closed the door!"

All I'm wanting to do is talk mad smack, but of course - I keep my cool and ask her if she wants and is that tired, she can go to bed whenever she wants. But DH and I are both telepathically talking to another and wondering WTF is up and hoping that SD is not seeing that type of thing as solely abandonment - because those issues sure are fun to deal with when you grow up.  

Sometimes hearing these things about BM and seeing the impact it has on SD is just sad.

So then yesterday, I pick up SD from school and it's obvious that she had been crying at some point of the afternoon. (red eyes, tear stained cheeks, etc) I ask if she's okay and she starts crying again. So I pull the car over and I turn around to face her and ask her whats going on. Where she proceeds to tell me that she has no friends, no one will play with her, how all the kids run from her, etc... Now in the past we knew of this and it was because she is a bossy little one, and would tell people that they're playing with her and what they would play. But she says that she has since stopped being bossy at school.

So she says that she wants to leave that school and go to a new school.
While I don't see that being a solution or a reason to move schools, I tell her that it's the end of the year and that next year she will have a new class with potentially new friends. But she isn't listening. She wanted to change schools and have new people to try to meet because her school grade, is small and they all know eachother. So I entertained the idea for her sake, but maintained that it wasn't the time do move schools.

(Background: In the CO, DH had requested that her elementary school be a school closer to where everyone in the family works and not 30-40 minutes away, along with the idea that the school is a better school. (BM used to live by this school, but has since moved) However, BM didn't want DH to win at a topic any more than he had in the CO and wouldn't budge on moving school, she can be stubborn. So unfortunately, DH was just going to let the BM have that one, and press for a better school later on)

All I could do was console. I asked her if she has ever talked to her mommy about all this. And she says ‘no, she doesn't have time.' (Tear). So I suggested that after work tomorrow(today) she talks to her mom about this. She said okay.

I discussed the whole thing over with DH and he texted BM the situation. Mainly pointing out that SD was very distraught. The BM texted back "She's not changing schools and that's it!"
C'mon... really?! We haven't talked about that in over a year!

Ugh. I get so fed up! 


by on May. 24, 2013 at 2:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ColleenF30
by Lube Girl on May. 24, 2013 at 2:14 PM

Ugh...how do you keep from slapping BM?

klear05
by Member on May. 24, 2013 at 2:19 PM
1 mom liked this

Quoting ColleenF30:

Ugh...how do you keep from slapping BM?

I don't see her often. Thankfully. What I do have a hard time is from grabbing DH's phone and giving her a piece of my mind. While I'm not a full Bio-parent (Yet), I do know that there are just some things you don't do. 


ColleenF30
by Lube Girl on May. 24, 2013 at 2:26 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting klear05:


Quoting ColleenF30:

Ugh...how do you keep from slapping BM?

I don't see her often. Thankfully. What I do have a hard time is from grabbing DH's phone and giving her a piece of my mind. While I'm not a full Bio-parent (Yet), I do know that there are just some things you don't do. 


No doubt. That poor girl I just want to give her a hug.

MimiMamaMe
by on May. 24, 2013 at 3:32 PM

Oh, I just love this age in the little girls!  Did her Daddy have any Mommy concerns back when they all were still together?

klear05
by Member on May. 24, 2013 at 3:40 PM


Quoting MimiMamaMe:

Oh, I just love this age in the little girls!  Did her Daddy have any Mommy concerns back when they all were still together?

Hahaha. Where would I begin! 

There were always concerns, starting to when she lied about being on birth control. They broke up when SD was 2 due to mommy cheating on him while he was finishing up his degree. 

But we both always have concerns about how BM does things, to the keggers that took place in the garage on school nights she should have had the kiddo, to SD having 4 homes,  no dicipline, no care for education, the list can go on. 

We just try to do the best that we can on our time with her, it's just so hard to hear about all these occurances or situations that happen to SD when she's on BM's time. 

MimiMamaMe
by on May. 24, 2013 at 3:43 PM

I hear ya, would be awfully nice if they sold baby bubbles (of protection) at the wee ones shops! 

MimiMamaMe
by on May. 24, 2013 at 3:44 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm a step mama too!

MimiMamaMe
by on May. 24, 2013 at 3:57 PM

Just found a group for step moms too here!  Are you on step mom central too?

klear05
by Member on May. 24, 2013 at 4:37 PM



Quoting MimiMamaMe:

Just found a group for step moms too here!  Are you on step mom central too?


Yup! 

MimiMamaMe
by on May. 24, 2013 at 4:47 PM

I am there now!  

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