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Three years went to waste.

Posted by on May. 24, 2013 at 8:47 PM
  • 8 Replies

So I'm new to this site my older sister actualy was the one to introduce me to it. For a while i felt as though i didn't need one but it seems that people on here give great advice. I have been with the same guy for almost four years. We have had a lot of struggle along the way. We have one very handsome son who was born in 2011 & now i am currently pregnant with baby number 2. My sons father was an amazing guy up until about the middle of my pregnancy with him. Then he started treating me horribly. For some reason i can't find the strenth to let go even now. He has been in and out of jail since my son was about 2 months old, and still makes me feel bad about my choice to put this baby that im carrying up for adoption. Last week he got out of jail for the third time, he was in there for six months. Not one person other then myself wrote him, went to visit him, nothing. I was the only person that stuck by his side. Last night we got into an argument because he wanted me to send my son to his paternal granparents for three days ( i have been trying to allow them to see my son the entire time his father was away and noone wanted any part) I  thought it was unfair to my son and suuggested small steps until he got to know them better. yet again he broke up with me and has already been messing around with another girl. Clearly he is no good for me, but how do i let go?

by on May. 24, 2013 at 8:47 PM
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Replies (1-8):
JND911
by New Member on May. 24, 2013 at 8:56 PM
2 moms liked this
You KNOW you need to get rid of him! He is nothing but a drain on you mentally and emotionally. Do you want your son to grow up with that kind of example as to how men should be? Will letting him go be hard? Sure it will. But is keeping him under these circumstances not ten times harder!? Do what you know you should do and walk away. Never look back. Time will make it easier, I promise. I know that bc I have been there. Look at my post, you'll see.
Lindalou907
by Silver Member on May. 24, 2013 at 8:58 PM
1 mom liked this

It just takes time! Try not to have any contact, it's easier. Make a list of all the ways he's wrong for you, you and your son deserve better than a cheat and a jail bird. Of COURSE you can't send your son to virtual strangers for 3 days, that's ridiculous.

DomokunsMommy
by New Member on May. 24, 2013 at 9:07 PM

focus on your son, keep busy

katjacmom
by on May. 24, 2013 at 9:09 PM
1 mom liked this

It is always hard to let go of someone who was a big part of our lives. And even though he really does sound like a jerk, not a great father, questionable history, etc. you still have feelings for him. You will only be able to let go when you really accept that you and your son deserve better. It will take time and you will need to be strong. But you can do it and when you do you will be amazed and so proud of yourself!

singlemommy1215
by Member on May. 24, 2013 at 10:35 PM


i kno my son deserves better it's accepting that i do is the problem

Quoting katjacmom:

It is always hard to let go of someone who was a big part of our lives. And even though he really does sound like a jerk, not a great father, questionable history, etc. you still have feelings for him. You will only be able to let go when you really accept that you and your son deserve better. It will take time and you will need to be strong. But you can do it and when you do you will be amazed and so proud of yourself!



singlemommy1215
by Member on May. 25, 2013 at 11:28 PM


I would love to cut off contact but now all of a sudden he wants custody of my child, FULL. he doesn't even know him and my son only knows his voice. My son hasn't been away from me at all since he's been born other then a few hours at a time. just makes this whole thing harder,.

Quoting Lindalou907:

It just takes time! Try not to have any contact, it's easier. Make a list of all the ways he's wrong for you, you and your son deserve better than a cheat and a jail bird. Of COURSE you can't send your son to virtual strangers for 3 days, that's ridiculous.



Lindalou907
by Silver Member on May. 26, 2013 at 12:35 AM

Well, that's just crazy. He probably doesn't want to pay support. Better get a lawyer.

singlemommy1215
by Member on May. 26, 2013 at 9:41 AM


That's most likely the case. either way no judge would grant him custody, it just hurts that when we split he pulls this.

Quoting singlemommy1215:

So I'm new to this site my older sister actualy was the one to introduce me to it. For a while i felt as though i didn't need one but it seems that people on here give great advice. I have been with the same guy for almost four years. We have had a lot of struggle along the way. We have one very handsome son who was born in 2011 & now i am currently pregnant with baby number 2. My sons father was an amazing guy up until about the middle of my pregnancy with him. Then he started treating me horribly. For some reason i can't find the strenth to let go even now. He has been in and out of jail since my son was about 2 months old, and still makes me feel bad about my choice to put this baby that im carrying up for adoption. Last week he got out of jail for the third time, he was in there for six months. Not one person other then myself wrote him, went to visit him, nothing. I was the only person that stuck by his side. Last night we got into an argument because he wanted me to send my son to his paternal granparents for three days ( i have been trying to allow them to see my son the entire time his father was away and noone wanted any part) I  thought it was unfair to my son and suuggested small steps until he got to know them better. yet again he broke up with me and has already been messing around with another girl. Clearly he is no good for me, but how do i let go?



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