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May lose a friend over a cosmetics party...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 17 Replies

I have a friend who has been a great friend for the last 5 years, but I honestly am at my whits end over this stupid cosmetic party. She left our insurance job where we met and is now selling this cosmetics line by getting her friends to host parties and then getting their friends to host too. You know how that all goes. Well, this year BOTH of my sisters are getting married only a month and a half apart. Between us we have 7 kids so there are constantly kids events that we are all going to for each other. This month alone I have 3 kids worth of awards ceremonies, graduations, and recitals to go to. Not to mention all their practices and rehearsals. I am, like so many other moms out there, overwhelmed with what I already have on my plate. I explained this to her when she asked me to host. She then asked if I could meet her for coffee and brought along the person higher up than her (I guess who roped her into selling the stuff) and the tag teamed me to get me to host a party. I said I would, but then I sent out like 20 invites and NO ONE wanted to come. So, I explained to her that I couldn't get anyone to come and that I was really just too busy anyway to try to plan this shindig. She just will not take no for an answer. I have given all my reasons (not excuses, but actual reasons) and she just continues. Now she wants me to bring my sister to one of her "coffee" meetings when she has already told her no too. She has never been this completely pushy before, but after meeting her higher up person I know where she is getting it from. But seriously, how many times can I tell her no before I just start ignoring her? I feel so bad since we have been really close for such a long time, but I am over the hard core pushiness and not taking NO for an answer. What can I do here to preserve our friendship?

Posted by Anonymous on May. 24, 2013 at 11:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
skittlebeans88
by Member on May. 24, 2013 at 11:40 PM
Just say no, each time she brings it up. I'd be highly annoyed as well
psych_mom
by on May. 24, 2013 at 11:46 PM
3 moms liked this

Tell her that you value your friendship with her, but you are concerned that it is in danger because of the fact that you had to cancel your party due to the lack of response. Let her know that although you support her in her new undertaking, that you would appreciate it if she would stop asking you to host.

Perle1
by Member on May. 25, 2013 at 12:35 AM
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Agreed. She should understand if you explain your feelings. She has kind of taken on a job that relies on friends to generate her income. I would be surprised if this job lasts very long. Just let her know the hard sell is making you uncomfortable, and while you still want to be friends, you are unwilling to supply any leads for her work as it makes you uncomfortable. If she gets mad then you have your answer.

Quoting psych_mom:

Tell her that you value your friendship with her, but you are concerned that it is in danger because of the fact that you had to cancel your party due to the lack of response. Let her know that although you support her in her new undertaking, that you would appreciate it if she would stop asking you to host.



JTE11
by Gold Member on May. 25, 2013 at 12:41 AM
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At this point I don't think you should worry about preserving the friendship because there isn't one if all she sees in you is a party host and dollar signs. She's not worried about being your friend, she's just wanting the money you can make so the friendship is already over. Just tell her no one last time and stop taking her calls. A friend doesn't get that pushy.

rebeccasmly
by Silver Member on May. 25, 2013 at 12:43 AM
That would be annoying. I think you're just going to have to lay it on the line and tell her how things stand.
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Alexsi1
by Alexandra on May. 25, 2013 at 8:07 AM

Stand your ground.

I'm just curious: is it Mary Kay? I used to sell them...didn't for very long. I had a director that wanted all my friends phone numbers to harass them too. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 25, 2013 at 8:20 AM

I would remind her that this is her gig....and you have done all you can to help as a friend.

Tell her since you both have hectic schedules have her call you when she has some free time away from working from home.

You could both use the escape.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 25, 2013 at 12:05 PM

 

Quoting Alexsi1:

Stand your ground.

I'm just curious: is it Mary Kay? I used to sell them...didn't for very long. I had a director that wanted all my friends phone numbers to harass them too. 

 

 No, it's Arbonne. Now that she has gotten super pushy with it after I have told her no several times I started researching it online. Apparently this is a practice that is taught to them. They want you to meet for coffee because they think it's harder to tell them no to their face. When I sent out the initial failed invite I just used an evite and got a resounding NO from everyone. So when I told her this she instructed me to personally call all of the people because, again, it's harder for people to come up with an excuse when you are talking to them and catch them off guard. So basically, I would be harassing all my friends at that point too. I  mean, really, this is beyond alienating me. I just hope she still has some friends when she is done with this venture.

anotherhalf
by on May. 25, 2013 at 1:23 PM


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Alexsi1:

Stand your ground.

I'm just curious: is it Mary Kay? I used to sell them...didn't for very long. I had a director that wanted all my friends phone numbers to harass them too. 


 No, it's Arbonne. Now that she has gotten super pushy with it after I have told her no several times I started researching it online. Apparently this is a practice that is taught to them. They want you to meet for coffee because they think it's harder to tell them no to their face. When I sent out the initial failed invite I just used an evite and got a resounding NO from everyone. So when I told her this she instructed me to personally call all of the people because, again, it's harder for people to come up with an excuse when you are talking to them and catch them off guard. So basically, I would be harassing all my friends at that point too. I  mean, really, this is beyond alienating me. I just hope she still has some friends when she is done with this venture.

So she is trying to manipulate you, a friend.  You might want to think about whether or not you want that type of person in your life.

jen1130
by Bronze Member on May. 25, 2013 at 2:16 PM
1 mom liked this
You go to another coffee meeting you look the "boss" in the eye tell her that you really want to help your friend but the pushy uncaring attitude you are getting is turning you off their product line as well as putting a wadge in your friendship. Life has many cycles some times are very busy and others are not. Your not so busy time it perfect for you to host a party....be sure to add in that as a person working from home with this kind of business they will have to adjust what they expect their income to be because that does come with the territory. Oh and then than the "boss" for the visit and coffe: )
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