This is a vent because I feel there is no one I can talk to right now about all that seems to be going wrong with my body since I gave birth to my two daughters. My husband makes me feel like a disappointment and a burden and my own father won't help with support for a much needed surgery...
Bear with me. There is so much going wrong with me that I don't know where to begin...
I'll start with my back.
I injured my back trying to pack our house up 6 months post-partum and now have been living in chronic pain for 2 years from a ruptured disc, and three bulging discs. The pain is chronic and now radiates down my left leg. I am hoping to have surgery to fuse my L5 this fall, but my own father refuses to assist in caring for my two little girls during the recovery time (which can take up to 6 months) and my husband frequently travels for work leaving me as sole caretaker. I don't see how we will make it work without the help of a family member.
I also suffer from hemorrgenic cysts and endometriosis which causes me severe abdominal pain and hellish periods. My doctor has suggested I have a hysterectomy and I respond HORRIBLY to hormone treatment (constant breakthrough bleeding and migraines)
Lately, I have also begun having migraine headaches and the last/current one has lasted 7 days. Something I have never experienced before.
I have also been suffering from a pain right below my ribs and right in the center of my abdomen that my doctor feels may be indigestion or the beginnings of an ulcer, but personally I am suspicious of gallstones.
And did I mention the uncontrollable adult acne!? I have worse acne now than I did in high school! Come on I am almost 40! I paid my dues!!
My frustrations stem from two things: WHAT THE HELL IS CAUSING ALL OF THESE PROBLEMS and I feel like such a failure, burden, useless wife and mother! My body is betraying me and I have nothing to provide or be proud of. I have so much will and so little capacity!
Anyone else experiencing anything like this?
on Jun. 15, 2013 at 2:50 AM