Why is it so wrong to ask gma to spend some one on one time with my children?
I am a middle child , I have an older brother and a younger brother. My father was abusive and an acholic when we were younger, my older brother went to prison for 5+ yrs. My family was torn apart he went away when he was 16. Anyways my mom and I had a good realtionship, I fought with her and moved out when I was 17 but otherwise I talked to her everyday when I was younger, I always felt though the world dropped when my brother went away, she was always about him and would go see him every week, didn't miss any phone calls, struggled to support him while he was in there. I became a young parent my mom hated her dad. It was a tough situation and it probably didn't help that I was immature (well we both were) young and a parent. After I had my daughter things changed for me, her dad and I did fight and everytime I would turn to my mom, I always took care of my own child though, ever relied on noone. I have worked with her pretty much since I was 12 , had to quit a few times because of our fights. To make long family history short, my brother came home and for the first year it was hell, she was always worried about him because he couldn't seem to get on the right path. We got thru that he eventually met someone and he ended up having a child with her after a few mnths. Immediately she was accepted into the family and my mom loved her. They had their first child and mainly everyone else would take care of her especially my mom. She was almost like a 2nd mother. Anyways moral of my story because I know i could go on and on is that now with him having 2 girls, I also have 2 girls. Him and his wife both work and my mom takes the kids than she meets them after the mother gets out of work. My mom and I barely talk I feel almost in a way she don't like me. She always undermines my feelings like "oh she is just jealous" " I hear this all the time" "I can't wait for your daughters to do this to you" as in I have gotten very upset in feeling like she makes way more time for my brother and his family than she does for my children. She never spends any one on one time with them even tho I have expressed to her that I would like her to, she never comes to my house to visit me, doesn't ever ask me to do anything with her alone. She just brushes me off I try to tell her how I feel yet she has a way of making me feel that I am always wrong, and says she isn't kissing anyone's ass. I feel like I am her only daughter why wouldn't she want to make it work, how does wanting more time with your mother and you kids having some one on one time make me so wrong or bad? She doesn't respect me thats how I feel, we open cabins and she never ask me what time is good for me, always gives me last minute times that she is going out there. I have been with my better half for 13 yrs and he still doesn't get the respect my brothers wife gets from my mom. Personally my issue is with my mom she just doesn't see what she is doing hurts me. She thinks she treats her children fair and she don't, she thinks I am wrong and who cares if my brothers kids are there when my kids are which is never, becasue I never go around my moms anymore. I don't even like spending time over there, I love my nieces that will never change but I just can't help how I feel it has nothing to do with them personally it is all with my mom. I feel like I have left so much stuff out but could go on and on. I just want to clarify am I being awful to reach out to my mom and tell her "spend some time with me" ? "spend some alone time with my girls"? My oldest coudl really use that bond she is almost 11. Have any of you been in this situation how do you handle it ? I def feel like the black sheep, yet I ask no one for nothing, take care of my children and am doing my best to be a good parent.