So I have been having a lot of trouble with this topic lately. I'm "pro spanking" and it seems like everyone else thinks its beating your child! CRAZY! I'm sorry but when I watch your kid pushing my little girls down, ripping toys out of her hands, saying mean things so her (and she is only 2 but talks at about a 3-4 year old level) YOUR kid is bullying so don't tell me that whatever discipline style or lack thereof is right. Maybe you should spank the little brat and give him a real consequence for the way he is acting.
When my little girl was 1 she was playing with her cousin who is 2 weeks younger. My daughter is a little timid playing with other kids. She usually plays in the corner with whatever toys no one else is using. So she often gets bullied by the assertive kids. Now her cousin often would slap, bite, pull her ponytail or push her down and she would just take it and never retaliate. My sister in law took her child, usually after my kid was already bleeding or missing hair, went to have a "talk" with her kid.... THEY ARE 1!!!!!!!!!! You cannot tell them to be nice and expect it to work! And of course a minute later she would be right back at the bullying. This drove me nuts!!
If my daughter is doing something very wrong I give her verbal warnings. I will ask her to stop, then if she continues I say your going to get a spanking if you dont' stop and then if she continues she gets a spanking. I'm not doing it out of anger, I'm doing it out of love and teaching her she has serious consequences for her actions. And never without fair warning.
That little cousin is still a bully we still always have to keep an eye on them when they are together so my kids don't get beat up. A couple of times that I have babysat for her and she was being mean and would tell her no and given her the tiniest little spank ever. She freaked out! Noone had ever given her a real consequence for being mean! I let her think about it a couple minutes and after she had calmed down she hugged me and we both said I love you. She was a little angel the rest of the day. Hmm.. Ya think it worked ?
Spanking has worked so well for us! And when she gets a spanking I let her think about it for a couple minutes, especially if she is still throwing a little fit and she always says " sorry Mama" and gives me hug and a kiss. She knows I love her, we are very affectionate with our babies, and she knows when she is misbehaving and she knows her consequence.
I'm teaching her to have a conscious. If all you ever got for a consequence was a stern talking to why would you be be worried about getting in trouble?? You wouldn't. You would do what you wanted to and just take the minor punishment. I often see her thinking about doing something she shouldn't and she looks at me and stops. Another big part of it is giving plenty of praise for good decision. When she shares, gives hugs to a crying sibline, says please and thank you ( which she always does!) and asks nicely for things You need to tell them thank you, you need to explain that they are being such a big girl or good job for putting your toys away.
Yes my child will often get the short end of the stick. She will get bullied and sometimes put last because she doesn't cut the line, say mean things, push other kids, rip toys out of their hands and hit or bite. But I will take that over a bully child anyday!
Please parents think long and hard about your parenting strategies. How you discipline your children doesn't only effect your kids!! Becuase kids with manners are getting bullied and beaten up because you refuse to give your child ample consequences.
I was spanked as a child. Not very often but I was. I have grown up with no desire to sneak around from my parents or be a rude and disrespectful like my peers. Sure I have made mistakes but never anything crazy. I have a healthy fear of dissapointing my parents, they are by biggest fans and I love making them proud.
I also hate how people say that I am hitting my child. No. Hitting is what you do in a bar fight. Spanking is giving them a REAL consequence, something they dont' want to happen. They are not afraid of me or think I'm abusing them. They know that its going to hurt and they don't do the unwanted behavior again. It's not out of blind furry, THAT is abuse.
Have you noticed our grandparents generation was very respectful. Talk to them sometime and asked if kids swore at their teachers, bullied other kids, skipped and dropped out of school, talked disrespectively to their parents and other adults, where sneaking around behind there parents backs, or even getting pregnant so young! They didn't. Then ask what would have happend if they had acted like that. I bet they would say " I would have gotten by butt whooped."
Also, some parents redirect their childrens behavior instead of informing their child that the chosen behavior is not acceptable. Don't tell your child " Johnny instead of hitting the dog, maybe we should pet or throw a ball for him." Did your child learn that hitting the dog is NOT acceptable? NO. You just gave him some nicer options but never seriously instilled in them that they CANNOT hit the dog!
And Spanking is not teaching your child to hit. Sorry it's just not right. They need to know YOU, THE PARENT, are the boss. You give out the punishments, and that the spank is because of their actions, not because you just felt like hitting them. Come on parents step up!!
A FLUSTERED MOM~