Does it annoy you when people say your child looks nothing like you?
by Michele Zipp
It's annoying when someone thinks you are the babysitter and not the mother. Sure there's that stigma attached that the babysitter is probably younger than mom and hotter and all that and while it's nice to be thought of as attractive it's also a dis to mothers essentially saying that moms can't be hot. We can. We are. But what's most annoying is when people just don't think you are the mother because your kid looks nothing like you.
That child just couldn't have come from you! Oh really? I only carried that child in my womb for 8 months and then gave birth to him by emergency c-section due to severe preeclampsia complications that nearly cost me my life. I'd say that child most definitely came from me.
But the blonde hair and your hair is so dark! Why yes, ma'am. Clearly I used the sperm of Casper the Friendly Ghost.
Is it because people are at a loss for what to say that when they see a mom and child who don't look like carbon copies of each other that their mouths just start moving and the words that come out are ridiculous and borderline insulting? I'm not saying I'm above some slippage of verbal diarrhea. We've all trudged that awful path. But what ends up happening is there is one comment on it, followed by another, and a sentence, and then an entire dialog about how your child looks nothing like you. All the while the mom hearing this feels smaller and smaller and smaller.
I mean, what if I had sex with Casper the Ghost and I just don't want to talk about it? He was friendly! What if hearing you say my child couldn't be my own is hurtful because it makes me feel like you are questioning my motherhood? I have the scar to prove it! There are always exceptions here. What about moms who adopt? What if they don't want to explain the details of their journey to motherhood to strangers?
Women with dark brown eyes and brown hair can have babies with light blue eyes and blonde hair. I know this because I did this. Maybe it was some magical feat in the eyes of some -- and in many ways it was because motherhood is magical! -- but I didn't gobble up some curious "to have blonde baby, take this" pill. I did get lucky though. I had twins. My daughter looks just like me. My son, not so much. But it doesn't make him any less mine. Blonde, blue-eyed, and mine!
Does it annoy you when people comment on how your child looks nothing like you?