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Does it annoy you when people say your child looks nothing like you?

Posted by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 8:57 AM
  • 30 Replies
1 mom liked this

It's Annoying When Your Kid Looks Nothing Like You

by Michele Zipp

michele zipp sonIt's annoying when someone thinks you are the babysitter and not the mother. Sure there's that stigma attached that the babysitter is probably younger than mom and hotter and all that and while it's nice to be thought of as attractive it's also a dis to mothers essentially saying that moms can't be hot. We can. We are. But what's most annoying is when people just don't think you are the mother because your kid looks nothing like you

That child just couldn't have come from you! Oh really? I only carried that child in my womb for 8 months and then gave birth to him by emergency c-section due to severe preeclampsia complications that nearly cost me my life. I'd say that child most definitely came from me.

But the blonde hair and your hair is so dark! Why yes, ma'am. Clearly I used the sperm of Casper the Friendly Ghost.

Is it because people are at a loss for what to say that when they see a mom and child who don't look like carbon copies of each other that their mouths just start moving and the words that come out are ridiculous and borderline insulting? I'm not saying I'm above some slippage of verbal diarrhea. We've all trudged that awful path. But what ends up happening is there is one comment on it, followed by another, and a sentence, and then an entire dialog about how your child looks nothing like you. All the while the mom hearing this feels smaller and smaller and smaller.

I mean, what if I had sex with Casper the Ghost and I just don't want to talk about it? He was friendly! What if hearing you say my child couldn't be my own is hurtful because it makes me feel like you are questioning my motherhood? I have the scar to prove it! There are always exceptions here. What about moms who adopt? What if they don't want to explain the details of their journey to motherhood to strangers?

Women with dark brown eyes and brown hair can have babies with light blue eyes and blonde hair. I know this because I did this. Maybe it was some magical feat in the eyes of some -- and in many ways it was because motherhood is magical! -- but I didn't gobble up some curious "to have blonde baby, take this" pill. I did get lucky though. I had twins. My daughter looks just like me. My son, not so much. But it doesn't make him any less mine. Blonde, blue-eyed, and mine!

Does it annoy you when people comment on how your child looks nothing like you?

by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 8:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Saydar
by Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 8:59 AM

Not really but my husband has really, really started to get mad about everyone under the sun coming up to ask us where the red hair comes from. We are both brunettes but red hair is common in both of our families.

Alexsi1
by Alexandra on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:19 AM
I get it a lot because ds is blond with green eyes eye and dh and I both have Brown hair and eyes. He doesn't look like dh and not very much like me. He does look a lot like my grandfather when he was a baby. It's all about the genes. It doesn't get to me anymore.
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kerryket
by Gold Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:46 AM
Mine do look like me, but as babies were blondes, sometimes people thought they belonged to my closest friend who is blonde, we thought it was funny and joked about it.
catrig
by Silver Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:13 PM

It hasn't happened, surprisingly.  Considering I have dark hair and eyes, and olivish skin. While my son has blond hair, blue eyes, and pale skin.

ColleenF30
by Lube Girl on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:33 PM

So far all of my kids do look like me (poor things).

ArlieBeeMee
by Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 1:10 PM
My sisters kids could be mine an mine could be hers.. Lol everyone always thinks its the other way around
psych_mom
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 1:13 PM

All three of my kids do resemble me in some way- my boys have my fair skin and lighter hair. My dd is my mini-me with darker hair.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 24, 2013 at 2:33 PM
I believe that my daughter looks nothing like me and looks almost identical with my husband. People tell me other wise though.
thatgirlNH
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 2:37 PM

Weird though, because those two do look alike, apart from hair color. DS is like my identical twin :)

susan115
by Bronze Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 6:40 PM

LOL, both my kids look like their father, he loves it.  I gave birth, fed them, homework, sick days and he gets all the good stuff.  Makes me laugh.  Also, both have his strong willed personality on top of that.  I keep telling them I should really start drinking. LOL

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