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Loosing myself

Posted by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 9:03 AM
  • 12 Replies
I am 24 years old. I'm having a baby with my now ex boyfriend. My emotions are all over the place right now and i seem to cry about everything. I try talking with him, but it just feels like I'm in this by myself. Am i depressed? All i want is to be held, someone to understand what I'm going through. Any advice?
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 9:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ayacocca
by Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 9:24 AM
1 mom liked this

Nothing is abnormal about how you're feeling. I went through that situation 7 years ago, and I just KNEW that it wouldn't get better, but it did. My advice would be to try your best to stay focused on whats important, and boo that is NOT your ex. It is the well being of your baby and yourself. If he comes back around, great. If not, you weren't given something that you cannot handle solo.

babygirl1242013
by New Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 9:30 AM
Thank you for being honest, but does it really get better? I'm in love with this person. I was raised with both parents,and huge was raised by his mom. Is it weird to want to be with the farther of your child even though he's a jerk?
newlife26
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 8:13 PM

My dd father and I were friends for 20 years. At no point did I think he would ever just leave us. He has not seen our dd since she was 4 months old. You will get past this. I went to therapy but it didn't help. I tried volunteering and yes it got my mind off of the situation but just prolonged the feeling of being abandoned. Went back to school and the same thing happened. I don't even think of dd bio father anymore but time heals all. My advice is to leave him alone. If he comes around great. If not then you will have to move on for the baby's sake. Don't let him break you. You are stronger than that.

psych_mom
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 9:29 PM

Sounds like you are definitely depressed. You should see if there is a counselor that you can talk too.

babygirl1242013
by New Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:47 PM
Thank you for your advice. I have to admit it is a scary thought of becoming a single patent.
Qmama206
by Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:56 PM

I'm sorry try to do more for yourself. Your pregnant right now so emotions are sky high on top of that your ex is making you feel like he won't be there. Do more for you before the baby comes and remember to think positive thoughts 

ruby_jewel_04
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 11:48 PM
1 mom liked this
Trust me, being a single Mom is not ideal. It is difficult. I know this from experience. That being said, it is far worse for a Childs development to be in a home where one or both parents don't want to be there than it is for them to be raised by single parents who are happy. Children are far more perceptive and astute than you would think. As far as your emotions go, what your are feeling is totally normal. You are in a new phase of your life, and you are uncertain of things. Find a good friend or family member to talk to. Good luck with everything, and congratulations on the baby.
Karopie_99
by Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 9:15 AM
1 mom liked this
Totally normal to have these feelings. A break up is hard enough at times, but a pregnancy breakup is even harder! I woukd talk with you OB and see what he/she thinks. Maybe find some chat buddies to vent to? Hang out with friends? Do something to take your mind off the ex and carry on your life for you and your baby :) you can get through this. I did and so did many other women
arwalters
by Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 1:37 AM
1 mom liked this

My ex broke up with me as soon as I told him I was pregnant. I'd grown up with him, known him for over 20yrs and was shocked. Once I got through the initial fear of being a single mom I started to enjoy my pregnancy. It was hard, very lonely at times. I wanted so badly to have someone to share that beautiful experience with. But I got through it and ds became the focus of my life. My whole world changed for the better. During my pregnancy I joined a mom's club and that helped me feel less alone. After ds was born I started going back to school and eventually met my now dh when ds was 15months old. Ds is now 4 and dh adopted him. We haven't seen bio dad in over 3 yrs and I don't even think about him. For a long time I was very angry about being abandoned but through counseling and prayer, I was able to let go and forgive him. Best thing I ever did. Ds and would have been fine alone, us against the world and all that. In fact I'd grown so used to it being just us that it was hard to let dh completely into the fold. I had to learn to though our it would never have worked. Everything will change when you are holding that little one in your arms, believe me. For me, it was easy to no longer have feelings for my ex once I saw the damage and pain he would potentially cause ds with inconsistent involvement not to mention his constant drinking, pot habit, and inability to not use the "F" word every 5 seconds. I quickly went into protection mode and though I did try to get him involved at first (w/ supervision) I was definitely a little relieved he chose to walk/ especially after I met dh. You deserve someone more stable and loving and so does your baby but you won't find him if you're still stuck on a guy who isn't healthy for you. Now if he does man up and changes his tune toward you then I hope it works out. But remember you can do this. You may not feel capable now but once lo is born your instincts will kick in and you'll know what to do. GL and congrats. 

bamababe1975
by Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 1:52 PM

 Pregnancy can make you feel everything more intensely already without adding on the stress of being a single mom and everything, too. ((HUGS)) and talk to your doctor, talk to your friends, your family, and us here, too. It'll help some to ease the hurt:



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