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Expectant teenage mom..Advice?

Posted by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 12:08 PM
  • 53 Replies

My name is Rhianna and I am 17. I have just recently found out that my boyfriend and I are pregnant. It was not planned and I was on the pill. Though we didnt use any other method of contraception as we expected we would be okay with only the pill. Which obviously wasnt the case as I ended up pregnant. So far my boyfriend and my family have been very supportive in my decision to keep the baby. Though my boyfriends family havent been as understanding. His mom wants him to move with his dad who lives 2 hours away from me so he can go to college. Which means, for 5 days of the week I will be alone with a newborn baby. I'm feeling very trapped and confused about everything and this certainly doesnt help. I do believe both my boyfriends, and my education shouldnt be disrupted because of a pregnancy, though I dont understand why he has to leave me and his child to go to school when he can stay in the area and own up to OUR responsibility. I'm reaching out to see about any advice anyone of you may have for me, and I'm looking to meet others that are or have been in my situation for support and adice.

Thank you,

Rhianna

by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 12:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mysticalmalissa
by Silver Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 12:51 PM

Is there a school closer that offers the classes he wants to take? 

Rh1annaa
by Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 1:19 PM

Unofrtunately, not at such short notice. He leaves for school in August and no other colleges in the area are accepting in the courses that he wants to take. It's kind of a pickle really...


bamababe1975
by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 2:15 PM

 Welcome to the group Rhianna! Do you have any family around who will be able to help you while your boyfriend is away? Would his mom be willing to help you out occasionally?



catrig
by Silver Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 3:12 PM

Make sure you both finish your education.  

Make sure that you have jobs, and a plan for who will watch the baby.  You may qualify for daycare assistance.

laura_simss
by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 3:14 PM
2 moms liked this

You seem immature. Think about the future, him going to school is they best thing he could do

yryssa1
by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 3:22 PM
She actually sounds very mature.

OP, Maybe he can finish his Fall courses and transfer once he finishes? It is very important to finish school and secure a good future for you and your family. I'd be as supportive as I could. It is only 2 hours away. When are you due? Are you still in high school or graduated?

I was a mom at 17 and I got married before I found out. My DH (now ex) was in the Navy so I moved to Florida to be with him. If I was in your sitch, I would just be content to see him on the weekends so he can better himself to provide a good financial future for his baby. Since your family is bring supportive, will they help while you go to school?


Quoting laura_simss:

You seem immature. Think about the future, him going to school is they best thing he could do


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 4, 2013 at 3:34 PM

Since your family is being so supportive, I'm sure they can help you out while your boyfriend is at college. It is really important for him to go and finish his education. It may seem hard now but thin kabout 10 years from now when you all are struggling because he didn't get a degree. This is a good and sound financial choice to make. You have to look at the future, not just now. I know you probably don't want to hear that. You can do it though even with him at school.He is owning up to responsibility by finishing his education.

When I had my 3rd child, I was going through a divorce, my ex wanted nothing to do with the baby, he was born with a disease that required lots of doctor visits, hospitals and surgeries. By myself with 2 other children. Plus I worked a full time job. Oh, and on the top of that, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and I helped my dad in her care and everything. It is hard to be alone with a newborn but it will strengthen you.

kerryket
by Gold Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 3:37 PM
I agree with you about the two of you continuing education, it may be hard while he is away and there is not another way at this time, It would be ideal if your supportive family helped you through this time. Keep in mind that it is temporary and it well might make life a lot easier in the future for all of you. Hang in there, alot of parenting is about sacrifice.
Rh1annaa
by Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 3:51 PM

I have my dad and friends that have said they will support me. And I'm sure when his mom comes around to the idea, I'll have her support too. I guess I just feel hopeless because Im going to be away from my boyfriend for so long with a new baby. This is all new to me, and it scares me that he wont be doing this 24/7 with me.

Rh1annaa
by Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 3:53 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes that is what I plan to do. I dont plan on being lazy through this pregnancy. I have just finished high school and Im starting my college courses in September. I dont plan on this compromising my education. Or his. Because thats what we need to be able to be the best parents. Regardless of our age.

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