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manipulative b**** used him as a sperm donor!!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 18 Replies

My bf is having a serious issue. Before he and I got together he dated a manipulative and emotionally abusive woman who used him in every way possible. They broke up when she came to tell him that she was pregnant with his child, he would never see her or the child, and that she never ever wanted to be with him. That's when he found out through mutual friends that she lied about being on birth control and went as far as to poke holes in condoms to conceive that baby. There were also texts that she wrote to him and other people confirming all these things.

My fiance was crushed because he grew up having an absentee father who truly was only in his life to pick him up on days he had to and to pay child support to his mother. His parents played the back and forth game with him and he grew up never being a part of a real family. He desperately wanted to be a part of his baby's life but never wanted her to feel caught in the middle of the tug of war. He also hoped that his ex would find a man that she found worthy enough to be a father figure so hopefully the baby could grow up unaware of the deception she was conceived from. His baby is still young( an infant) and I know it kills him that he isn't a part of her life. Our baby is a complete priority to him, and I know he avoids bringing up his other child to not make me feel like that isn't the case. He's completely psyched for our baby to be born and would never try to bring him into our home if I didn't want.

I believe that he should be a part of his baby's life, and I know he really wants that. I've already told him that when he/ we are ready that he will always be a welcome presence in our home and I'd do my best to love him because I know he's a part of him. It saddens me how hurtful she can be keeping his child from him because she wants to play mommy. Her backround is that she failed out of college her first semester for too much partying, smoked pot all through high school and her pregnancy (along with cigs), hasn't had  a real job, and moved into a house for single mothers so she wouldn't have to pay for rent or her child's doctors expenses. It seems she's content to play mommy and never anywhere ever mentioned who the father was to anyone. I feel like in the future it would be good for my hubby to try to get visitation or at least half custody. I'm tired of seeing him hurting about a child he knows is his. He would never try to take the baby from the mother because she's all he's known. Has anyone ever been in this kind of situation? Why are some women so evil?

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 16, 2013 at 6:46 AM
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Replies (1-10):
3tobe13
by New Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 6:55 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

My bf is having a serious issue. Before he and I got together he dated a manipulative and emotionally abusive woman who used him in every way possible. They broke up when she came to tell him that she was pregnant with his child, he would never see her or the child, and that she never ever wanted to be with him. That's when he found out through mutual friends that she lied about being on birth control and went as far as to poke holes in condoms to conceive that baby. There were also texts that she wrote to him and other people confirming all these things.

My fiance was crushed because he grew up having an absentee father who truly was only in his life to pick him up on days he had to and to pay child support to his mother. His parents played the back and forth game with him and he grew up never being a part of a real family. He desperately wanted to be a part of his baby's life but never wanted her to feel caught in the middle of the tug of war. He also hoped that his ex would find a man that she found worthy enough to be a father figure so hopefully the baby could grow up unaware of the deception she was conceived from. His baby is still young( an infant) and I know it kills him that he isn't a part of her life. Our baby is a complete priority to him, and I know he avoids bringing up his other child to not make me feel like that isn't the case. He's completely psyched for our baby to be born and would never try to bring him into our home if I didn't want.

I believe that he should be a part of his baby's life, and I know he really wants that. I've already told him that when he/ we are ready that he will always be a welcome presence in our home and I'd do my best to love him because I know he's a part of him. It saddens me how hurtful she can be keeping his child from him because she wants to play mommy. Her backround is that she failed out of college her first semester for too much partying, smoked pot all through high school and her pregnancy (along with cigs), hasn't had  a real job, and moved into a house for single mothers so she wouldn't have to pay for rent or her child's doctors expenses. It seems she's content to play mommy and never anywhere ever mentioned who the father was to anyone. I feel like in the future it would be good for my hubby to try to get visitation or at least half custody. I'm tired of seeing him hurting about a child he knows is his. He would never try to take the baby from the mother because she's all he's known. Has anyone ever been in this kind of situation? Why are some women so evil?

It sucks that she has done that to him and the baby. But why can't he file for visitation now?? That way he can be a part of his childs life no matter what she says (unless she wants to be in contempt of court). It's his resposibility to be in that child's life whether she likes it or not. 

BandAHuffMomma
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 6:58 AM
If your husband wants visitation and to be part of baby's life, have him talk to a lawyer for visitation or custody. The mother will be required to submit the baby for DNA testing and then there will be a court date to decide on the terms of visitation and everything else. He never has to mention to the child the conditions under which it was conceived, he cam simply be the good daddy he wants to be. You sound like a mature and caring woman and I applaud that you want your man to be a good father to all of his children and not just yours :)
Alexsi1
by Alexandra on Jul. 16, 2013 at 9:23 AM
2 moms liked this

He needs to get a lawyer involved to hammer out the visitation issues. I'm sorry he's going through this. I have heard of women like this but never a specific case.

bamababe1975
by Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:00 PM

 I agree with this. Good luck, OP!

Quoting Alexsi1:

He needs to get a lawyer involved to hammer out the visitation issues. I'm sorry he's going through this. I have heard of women like this but never a specific case.

 


ColleenF30
by Lube Girl on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:22 PM

She is one of the reasons I have taught my ds not to trust females (or males) when it comes to sex.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 16, 2013 at 3:01 PM

in this post he starts as your bf and ends as your husband....you need to back away...

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 16, 2013 at 3:49 PM
1 mom liked this
Interesting. Makes you wonder about her truthfulness.


Quoting Anonymous:

in this post he starts as your bf and ends as your husband....you need to back away...


lilbit53009
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 3:55 PM

she'll be knocking on your door for child support sooner or later...don't worry. but in the mean time he should be fighting for visitation/custody (she's clearly crazy and you said he has proof of what she did)

but i can't stand woman who try to use the fact we can get pregnant/have babies against men (wether they do it in the way your boyfriends ex did, or the opposite way thinking the baby will keep the guy)

it's sickening

lilbit53009
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 3:56 PM
1 mom liked this

my son is only 4...but when he gets old enough i'll be teaching him the same thing

Quoting ColleenF30:

She is one of the reasons I have taught my ds not to trust females (or males) when it comes to sex.


mysticalmalissa
by Silver Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 4:08 PM
1 mom liked this

It's not really that uncommon for people to do that. My husband referred to me as his wife before we were married.

Quoting Anonymous:

in this post he starts as your bf and ends as your husband....you need to back away...


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