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When is it taking advantage of you than being nice???

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies
My friend is going through a divorce and she has left her husband to go and sleep with another guy. She has 3 kids and has no one who can help her. I live in the same town and I feel bad about the kids world being torn apart. So I have been helping her out and watching them. I don't ask her to pay for food or anything that they may need, but the last time that they came over they broke my kids toys. I didn't tell their mom about it cuz im nice. I haven't got a call or even a thanks for doing it. If we have talked I start it but just to say hi. Then she texts me today and was like..."I need you to take the kids tomorrow because I have no plan for them." I also am working an 9 hr day so i feel bad. She doesn't seem to notice that im getting mad about her only talking to me when she needs something. Im getting angry about it. When is it taking advantage of you versus still being a friend???
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
rebeccasmly
by Silver Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:17 PM
Maybe its time for you to tell you you can't watch the kids. You have things you need to do and need time to rest as well. I was a single mother of 3 for 3 years. I worked full time, dealt with a child born with a horrible disease that required lots of doctors and hospitals plus helped out my parents who were going through a difficult time. I never assumed friends or family could/would take them. I find that a tad disrespectful personally. Its not easy but that is the life of a single parent.
calsmom62
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:57 PM
you need to be mice to yourself too. she will have to suck it up and hire a babysitter. you are responsible for setting your own limits. saying no can be a kindness especially if your friend needs help learning to be responsible for her own choices
othermom
by Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 11:12 PM

Talk to her about it, let her kow you can't keep doing it or that it is getting to be to much if it is

psych_mom
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 11:15 PM
Now is the time to speak up.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 16, 2013 at 11:17 PM
Its not that it's too much on me, but I am starting to feel a little used. I made a point that the last time I wasn't doing this all the time. She is just taking advantage I think. But it's where is the line it is disrespectful??
Marimaru
by Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 11:12 AM
1 mom liked this

She most certainly crossed that line when she said "I need..." instead of asking you if you were available to do it.

Frankly at that point I would just say "I'm sorry, but I'm not able to do it tomorrow.  I really need more notice, and I need you to be mindful that I have things going on, so you should ask about my schedule instead of deciding that I am going to watch your kids."

You should also say something about the broken toys.  If you are watching the kids very often, food should be discussed also.  Kids eat a lot, and that can really dig into your grocery budget.  

Quoting Anonymous:

Its not that it's too much on me, but I am starting to feel a little used. I made a point that the last time I wasn't doing this all the time. She is just taking advantage I think. But it's where is the line it is disrespectful??



Alexsi1
by Alexandra on Jul. 17, 2013 at 11:17 AM

I think now you need to speak up. She didn't even ask...she said "I need." That's not good.

Momofmenagerie
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 11:20 AM
If you have to ask the question, then you are being taken advantage of.
JTE11
by Gold Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 4:39 PM

This sounds like she just expects you to take them and doesn't seem grateful so it's probably about time to put some limits in place. Let her know you needs a couple of days notice and even then you'll let her know if you can do it. Sounds like she's taking advantage of you.

JocelynMoods
by Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 4:43 PM

He ins't too old for it. Maybe it's more common than you might think. My seven year old says no one is too old for bubble guppies :)

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