Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

This has gone way too far!

Posted by Anonymous
  • 23 Replies

I've been engaged to the father of my new baby for almost 2 years now and I've hit a point where enough is enough! He constantly demeans me and calls me all the names in the book just because he is mad and he yells at me constantly even in front of his family and friends. His family just tells me thats just who he is and you can't listen to it. But its hard. I just had my baby so it feels like my hormones are all over the place and I cry constantly and he says messed up stuff to me constantly like I'm a crazy bitch, I'm stupid, I'm mentally unstable(Its the hormones) He gets angry when I cry and is really tearing me apart. I know the answer is in my face, that this man is someone I should get as far away from but I don't want to leave him because I don't want to be alone and I want him to be in my sons life but I'm scared that he will walk out on his son. ( He told me this before) I just don't know what to do. I know I'm not happy with him and he makes me feel like crap all the time. I don't want my son to be in this anymore, I know if I stay he will learn that the way my fiance treats me is the way he treats a woman and if he learns that I will never forgive myself because I don't deserve it but its so hard to leave because its horrible that I still love a person that treats me like this. My son and I deserve better but it feels like with the state I'm in I'm scared to leave and i don't feel strong enough to do it but I need to find the strength..

 So Please help

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 17, 2013 at 9:23 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
by Bronze Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 9:32 PM
5 moms liked this

please, please, leave the relationship.  It is not worth it, you will find someone who appreciates you, I promise.

by Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:15 PM
1 mom liked this

 You should tell him your taking a time out from the relationship and find a friend or family member you can stay with for the weekend or a few days, tell him you need a break.

He only threatens to leave you because he really is afraid of you abandoned him.

by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 11:00 PM
2 moms liked this

You know what you should do but its scary.  Advice my mom gave me (and the title of a book):

Feel the fear, and do it anyway.  You can't help what you feel, but you can still do the right thing. 

by on Jul. 18, 2013 at 2:06 AM
4 moms liked this

You're being emotionally abused. And what's scarier than your son possibly having no father is that if you stay, you're allowing him to learn that it's an acceptable way to treat women.

by New Member on Jul. 18, 2013 at 3:06 AM
You need to get away from him.Good luck and God Bless.
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 18, 2013 at 5:52 AM
1 mom liked this

that's not love,  it's codependency.

by Member on Jul. 18, 2013 at 6:04 AM
1 mom liked this
Omg please please don't marry this man!! You will not be alone if you don't want to be. You will find someone better take it from me when you leave this man a few months down the road you will be much happier! Trust me I know. He is tearing your self esteem that is why you don't want to be alone he is making you believe you aren't good enough for anyone. It is absolutely not true and one of the major warning signs of physical abuse to come. You will regain your clarity and self esteem when you leave! Most likely you will actually be even more aware of future boyfriends so you don't wind up in this position again. You do not want to raise a child in this environment. He will turn out just like him and have many emotional scars if he sees you treated that way and is treated this way himself. Ok maybe he won't become just like him but there is a possibility.

Trust me trust me you need to get out you will feel better about yourself when you do. If he says he would not be a part of your son's life that doesn't mean he won't leave y'all because you stayed with him.
by Alexandra on Jul. 18, 2013 at 8:07 AM

He's being emotionally abusive. You can get away from him. You and your son don't deserve this.

by Member on Jul. 18, 2013 at 9:09 AM

Please find the courage to walk away from this man. It's not enough that he is emotionally and mentally abusive to you, but his family is condoning his behavior. They will NEVER be on your side or come to your rescue if things go even worse. If you don't leave, and something happens to you, who will raise your son? He will !!! Do you really want that man and his ways being the driving influence in your child's life......NO.....please.....for both of you......get out before its too late !!!! I will say a prayer for you......

by Member on Jul. 18, 2013 at 9:53 AM

My sons dad cheated on me and mentally,verbally, and physcially abused me the entire time I was pregnant. I am the most forgiving person I know, and each time he would cry and tell me how sorry he was. After our  son was born he got so much better with the abuse, but then I found out he went to lunch with another woman, LUNCH. and I was SICK of it. Didn't think twice and packed my stuff and told him I was out, stayed with my mom and grandma for about 2 weeks, met someone GREAT who respected me (yes, fast.. i know..we were friends for years) and we moved in together. I say, If you have any kind of family to help and let you stay... LEAVE. He doesn't deserve you. You WILL find someone who will love and appreciate you and your baby. :) I PROMISE. You just NEED to be strong. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)