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This has gone way too far!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I've been engaged to the father of my new baby for almost 2 years now and I've hit a point where enough is enough! He constantly demeans me and calls me all the names in the book just because he is mad and he yells at me constantly even in front of his family and friends. His family just tells me thats just who he is and you can't listen to it. But its hard. I just had my baby so it feels like my hormones are all over the place and I cry constantly and he says messed up stuff to me constantly like I'm a crazy bitch, I'm stupid, I'm mentally unstable(Its the hormones) He gets angry when I cry and is really tearing me apart. I know the answer is in my face, that this man is someone I should get as far away from but I don't want to leave him because I don't want to be alone and I want him to be in my sons life but I'm scared that he will walk out on his son. ( He told me this before) I just don't know what to do. I know I'm not happy with him and he makes me feel like crap all the time. I don't want my son to be in this anymore, I know if I stay he will learn that the way my fiance treats me is the way he treats a woman and if he learns that I will never forgive myself because I don't deserve it but its so hard to leave because its horrible that I still love a person that treats me like this. My son and I deserve better but it feels like with the state I'm in I'm scared to leave and i don't feel strong enough to do it but I need to find the strength..

 So Please help

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 17, 2013 at 9:23 PM
Replies (21-23):
by Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 3:43 PM

The only advice I have for you is to be pro-active - begin setting yourself and the baby up to be able to comfortably leave the relationship.  It's a very unhealthy one for you and the baby - things like this don't tend to get better, they get worse.  Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt...

If he chooses not to be a part of his son's life, it'll be his loss and his own fault.  Sounds to me, though, like that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing.

I'm like you in that I do enjoy being in a relationship, but the one you're in now is counterproductive to your emotional and mental health, and stands a chance to escalate into one that could also become harmful physically... There are other men out there who will appreciate you for the person you are and love you and not feel the need to pump their own egos up by telling you you're a horrible bitch - You're not a horrible bitch, and you will eventually meet someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved. 

You deserve better, honey... hugzzz and best wishes ;)

by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 3:47 PM

Just go, get out before it gets worse, or you end up with more kids and it is even harder to make it on your own. Please don't stay, it doesn't get better.

by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 3:59 PM
One section sticks out " his family says, that's just who he is and you have to ignore it"

All I have to offer is a hug and a don't MARRY this guy. His family are blood relatives to this gem, you are not.

It's your choice to stay, IMO , it's a poor one. BUT you did just give birth .... So of course every thing is out of whack, my fear for you is... They will misdiagnose you with PPD at some point instead of out and out depression over the verbal abuse. You are right about your son, his first words should not be " shut up" he WILL treat you the way dad treats you and not see why it's wrong.

Is there any family you can stay with while you sort through getting into the groove of being a mom.... Then work through this guy thing? Please tell me that he is fiancé in name only, because hon? It really sounds like the honeymoon is over. :-/

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