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The Venting Booth The Venting Booth

I'm pissed, and hurt. That he told her about my addiction anyway.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 97 Replies

PLEASE. DO NOT BASH ME. I WILL NOT RESPOND TO THOSE THAT ARE HATEFUL.  I don't mind if you state your opinion but don't be too hard on me please. I just can't take it right now. 

 I understand he's concerned. I have been struggling with an addiction to pain medication, taking more than prescribed, he caught me stealing some of his, (i was never a thief, until this.) which I am VERY ashamed of. But I wanted him to catch me to be honest. He doesn't take his very often, only when he really needs them, so he always had more than I did. He still has some left from years ago when he had work done on his teeth. If that gives you an idea of how little he takes them.... (he has them under lock and key now)

  But I have been clean for nearly 6 months.  My husband found out how bad it really was getting, and we had a really long talk at that time, we cried together and it really opened my eyes.    

I was out of control and I agreed to stop, and I did, I weaned myself off with his help, and have not gone back to get a refill.  

It almost cost me my marriage, and my children. I know they deserve better than that. I want to make it clear that I never neglected our children, food was always on the table, I got up before them every morning before them, our house was taken care of, my husband and I were intamite on a regular basis. I put up a really good front, that's why it took him so long to catch on. 

Well, I specifically asked him NOT to tell his mom. She likes to run her mouth to everyone and I knew she would look at me differently. 

So yesterday her and my sister in law were here all day, the guys were out fishing. I noticed she was treating me differently, we've always got along well, she was being rude and nit picking at everything.  Then I happen to over hear her talking about me to SIL.  It really upset me, I wanted him to give me a chance to be the person I use to be without everyone knowing my business. I'm in tears right now, because my relationship with my mother in law has changed, and we will never be as close as we were.  

I am so hurt that he told her, I'm embarrassed, I'm ashamed, I feel like it's the day he caught me all over again. I hate myself for everything I've done.  If it weren't for our children, I don't know what I would do.   I couldn't stop crying last night, I keep crying off and on today.  I'm just a mess.... I know I fucked up, I know I stole, I know I lied, I know i i am a piece of shit. But I'm trying to change and now the whole family will know (if they don't already) and it's just not going to be the same again. Ever. 

Bash away. I'm sure it's coming even though I asked otherwise.  

But, at least It felt good to finally let this out. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 21, 2013 at 4:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kerryket
by Gold Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 5:45 PM
16 moms liked this
Hold your head up, you are facing and doing something about your problem on your own, that takes strength, determination and love for yourself and your family. You ARE NOT a piece of shit, you are a human being who has made some poor choices under the influence of drugs, you are making a conscious effort to change things and you are eaten up by guilt.

Can you get counseling to help you stay on track and deal with your emotions and talk about the attitude and issues with family, you are not alone!
holyhoola
by Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 5:47 PM
1 mom liked this
Maybe you should make time to sit and talk with her one on one. Be absolutely honest and she should respect that. You messed up, realized it and fixed it no matter the circumstances. We are human and we make mistakes. Hopefully with time your relationship will mend itself.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 21, 2013 at 5:54 PM
Well honestly I don't think he should keep simmering like that from his own mother. Dealing with you and your addiction might not be easy for him. Maybe he needed someone to talk to. And honestly what did you expect that it wouldn't alter relationships? She may not know how to process that finding out the woman her son married is a pull popper. I'm glad you are being your addiction. But there are good times and bad. The 3 of you should sit down and talk it all out.
psych_mom
by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 6:04 PM

It is hard to ask him to keep something like that from his mom- he probably needed to get that out and have someone to talk to about what it did to him so don't be to hard on him for that.

As for you- first off, stop beating yourself up and focus on your recovery. Also, go talk to your mother-in-law. Let her know that you know you that you really screwed up but you are working hard to stay clean and that you want to continue to have a good relationship with her and that you could use her support with this. You could probably benefit from a support group as well to help you stay on track. Being around others that have been through what you are going through always helps.

KrysluvsVaelin
by New Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 6:50 PM
2 moms liked this

1. I think its amazing that you have decided to get clean.
         I know its hard. But remember you are a strong woman! And that you will over come this, not just for you bur for your family. And that makes you a good person
2. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone makes wrong choices in life.
     Your's just happend to be taking pills. But you are trying to do something about it. Not everyone does. You are trying to do better. And remember that. Just keep you head up, love.
3. I know you said that you didnt want her to know.
         She would have found out eventually, ALL MOTHERS DO. :) But it would have been better if it was from you. I think you should talk to her. Tell her how you plan to make things better
4. Stick to what you say.
       :)

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 22, 2013 at 2:18 AM

Thank you so much! 

That is very kind of you to say, it has been VERY hard. But not as hard as it would be if I lost my kids for being so stupid. my kids mean more to me than that. 

I don't have medical insurance, but my husband just got offered a union job, so that could change very soon.  

Quoting kerryket:

Hold your head up, you are facing and doing something about your problem on your own, that takes strength, determination and love for yourself and your family. You ARE NOT a piece of shit, you are a human being who has made some poor choices under the influence of drugs, you are making a conscious effort to change things and you are eaten up by guilt.

Can you get counseling to help you stay on track and deal with your emotions and talk about the attitude and issues with family, you are not alone!


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 22, 2013 at 2:20 AM

Thank you hun. 

It's really hard for me to open up to people, especially about this. It took a lot for me to post this and I went anon.   :(

Quoting holyhoola:

Maybe you should make time to sit and talk with her one on one. Be absolutely honest and she should respect that. You messed up, realized it and fixed it no matter the circumstances. We are human and we make mistakes. Hopefully with time your relationship will mend itself.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 22, 2013 at 4:51 AM

I understand he may need to talk to someone. But my issue with her is she runs her mouth to everyone, about everyone and anything. I'm a very private person, and I asked him to keep this between us, that I would do my best to change. My issue is I feel betrayed, if he asked me not to tell someone, I wouldnt. Not to mention,  I don't want everyone knowing business unless I choose to make it their business.   

And fyi, she's on all kinds of medication. So she isn't one to judge because of that. I feel like he told her to watch her pills or something.... I would never steal from her. I took them from my husband yes, but I am not a thief. I know he was looking out for my best interest, but I am still hurt.  

I am more upset with myself than anyone to be honest.  If I hadn't let it get out of control, k wouldn't be in this situation. I have no one to blame but me.   I guess it's part of the recovery..... the consequences for my actions.... it just sucks. I love my mother in law, she gets on my nerves at times, but I just wanted this part of our life between us.... Idk.... 

Quoting Anonymous:

Well honestly I don't think he should keep simmering like that from his own mother. Dealing with you and your addiction might not be easy for him. Maybe he needed someone to talk to. And honestly what did you expect that it wouldn't alter relationships? She may not know how to process that finding out the woman her son married is a pull popper. I'm glad you are being your addiction. But there are good times and bad. The 3 of you should sit down and talk it all out.


wickedstepjenn
by Member on Jul. 22, 2013 at 7:17 AM
No bashing from me. Hugs. I have a gossip mil also she's very vengeful.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 22, 2013 at 10:21 AM
Just because she is on meds does not make her anything like you. I'm on meds so does that make me a pill popper that has to take them for addiction? Not at all. And again maybe he did plan on more telling her. But people coming off drugs and withdrawals isn't pretty. Maybe you just got to be too much to put up with. As I said the 3 if you need to sit down and talk. You may be a private person but you do realize your addiction does NOT only effect you right? You may think your kids where all taken care of but in your drugged up stupor you don't know how you acted. And as good as it is that you have now stopped it's good to have a merry of a support system rather than just 1 person.

Quoting Anonymous:

I understand he may need to talk to someone. But my issue with her is she runs her mouth to everyone, about everyone and anything. I'm a very private person, and I asked him to keep this between us, that I would do my best to change. My issue is I feel betrayed, if he asked me not to tell someone, I wouldnt. Not to mention,  I don't want everyone knowing business unless I choose to make it their business.   

And fyi, she's on all kinds of medication. So she isn't one to judge because of that. I feel like he told her to watch her pills or something.... I would never steal from her. I took them from my husband yes, but I am not a thief. I know he was looking out for my best interest, but I am still hurt.  

I am more upset with myself than anyone to be honest.  If I hadn't let it get out of control, k wouldn't be in this situation. I have no one to blame but me.   I guess it's part of the recovery..... the consequences for my actions.... it just sucks. I love my mother in law, she gets on my nerves at times, but I just wanted this part of our life between us.... Idk.... 

Quoting Anonymous:

Well honestly I don't think he should keep simmering like that from his own mother. Dealing with you and your addiction might not be easy for him. Maybe he needed someone to talk to. And honestly what did you expect that it wouldn't alter relationships? She may not know how to process that finding out the woman her son married is a pull popper. I'm glad you are being your addiction. But there are good times and bad. The 3 of you should sit down and talk it all out.


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