I'm pissed, and hurt. That he told her about my addiction anyway.
PLEASE. DO NOT BASH ME. I WILL NOT RESPOND TO THOSE THAT ARE HATEFUL. I don't mind if you state your opinion but don't be too hard on me please. I just can't take it right now.
I understand he's concerned. I have been struggling with an addiction to pain medication, taking more than prescribed, he caught me stealing some of his, (i was never a thief, until this.) which I am VERY ashamed of. But I wanted him to catch me to be honest. He doesn't take his very often, only when he really needs them, so he always had more than I did. He still has some left from years ago when he had work done on his teeth. If that gives you an idea of how little he takes them.... (he has them under lock and key now)
But I have been clean for nearly 6 months. My husband found out how bad it really was getting, and we had a really long talk at that time, we cried together and it really opened my eyes.
I was out of control and I agreed to stop, and I did, I weaned myself off with his help, and have not gone back to get a refill.
It almost cost me my marriage, and my children. I know they deserve better than that. I want to make it clear that I never neglected our children, food was always on the table, I got up before them every morning before them, our house was taken care of, my husband and I were intamite on a regular basis. I put up a really good front, that's why it took him so long to catch on.
Well, I specifically asked him NOT to tell his mom. She likes to run her mouth to everyone and I knew she would look at me differently.
So yesterday her and my sister in law were here all day, the guys were out fishing. I noticed she was treating me differently, we've always got along well, she was being rude and nit picking at everything. Then I happen to over hear her talking about me to SIL. It really upset me, I wanted him to give me a chance to be the person I use to be without everyone knowing my business. I'm in tears right now, because my relationship with my mother in law has changed, and we will never be as close as we were.
I am so hurt that he told her, I'm embarrassed, I'm ashamed, I feel like it's the day he caught me all over again. I hate myself for everything I've done. If it weren't for our children, I don't know what I would do. I couldn't stop crying last night, I keep crying off and on today. I'm just a mess.... I know I fucked up, I know I stole, I know I lied, I know i i am a piece of shit. But I'm trying to change and now the whole family will know (if they don't already) and it's just not going to be the same again. Ever.
Bash away. I'm sure it's coming even though I asked otherwise.
But, at least It felt good to finally let this out.